I have a series relationship with my boyfriend for almost 7 years. We live together and I think we both love each other. Since relationship grows with time, I want a marriage and have a happy family with him. We started talking about it a few years ago, and he said he needed some time to get ready. And then, we agreed to decide (if we are getting marry or not) later. A couple of years passed, and I asked him recently about it. He said he still is not ready. I am sad and confused. I don't know if he really loves me or not. I want a happy family with someone I love and comfortable. Is it time for me to break up with him and move on with my life?
2007-07-13 05:28:50 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Seven years and he tells you he's not ready. I think that about answers any questions in the future you have about marriage, don't you?
2007-07-13 05:42:31 · answer #1 · answered by Quasimodo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You left out one important point...how old are you?
If you're 27 and he's not ready then I would be looking around.
But if you're 17, then I can understand him not being ready.... that is way too young.
Since you've been together for 7 years, I would say that he loves you but he definitely doesn't feel ready for a lifetime committment. How old is he? Did he ever say he wanted to get married? I dated a guy for years, but he just wasn't the marrying kind, still isn't married 30 years later. So that would be one of the first questions, do you ever want to get married?
2007-07-13 05:47:54 · answer #2 · answered by LAL 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you already have a common law marriage. but like others here have said, you do not sound very smart. or sophisticated. sorry. a relationship where the guy never marries you and puts off your questions about it does not grow with time. i do not think he will ever marry you and may not care if you break up with him or not. let me ask you something. if you have been with him for 7 years you have to be at least over 25. if you break up with him now and stay with the next!! guy for 7 years without marriage, you will be 32. and then 39. see how that goes?? so the question really isnt is it time now, after 7 years for me to break up with him and get on with my life, well, if you are going to do this again, just wait passively for someone else to decide your life for you, well, then, the question is why not just stay with him like this forever. i dont know if you read books, but there is a book out called ' why men marry some women and not others' by john molloy. if you buy it and read it after you read it you will know for sure if he is going to marry you or not. in this day and age it is surprising to read a question like yours, almost every girl knows that it would seem pretty obvious years ago to someone who was paying attention !!! that this guy is just fooling you and in a very ugly, dispespectful way, for crying out loud.
2007-07-13 06:26:24 · answer #3 · answered by jaded 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
7 years is a long time to be with some one who isnt commiting yeah its time he comfortable with no commitment and thats not good at that point in ur relationship i think u should move on because the next thing u kno 7 yrs will turn into 14 and yall still wont be married and u wont have ur family u want .Either drop him or have ur bags packed and go to him and be like look i dont want our relationship to be just this i wantto be ur wife forreal cause i love u that much we've been together for to long to be here in our relationship and i want more... maybe he'll step up because he wont want to lose u but if he says no again leave go get on ur feet and find a real man the will commit and not be scared!
2007-07-13 05:43:32 · answer #4 · answered by ajoi2baround 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If I were you...I would confront him and ask bluntly what he wants. I know that it sucks to have to do that, but 7 yrs? If your not happy, you need to say something. It sounds like you keep feelings from him because your not sure if he loves you? And it seems like he is there because he's used to it and why not? If he isn't willing to settle down, get married and start talking about a family after 7 years of being with one another, it doesn't seem like he wants more. If you want more, sit him down and have a chat.
2007-07-13 05:45:19 · answer #5 · answered by sun day 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's a tough situation. First of all, you really need to sit down and have a talk with him. Let him know where you would like your relationship to go, and make him understand how you feel about your current situation. Tell him you need to formalize things further, and that you would like to get married. If he tells you he's not ready, ask him if he doesn't want to get married at all, or if he just doesn't want to marry you. ASK HIM EVERYTHING! After that, you can make a decision as to whether it's worth it to keep investing your emotions, hopes & dreams on someone who may not want to share his with you.
2007-07-13 05:35:24 · answer #6 · answered by FunnyValentine 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You want a family with someone who loves you, but you "think" you both love eachother and you've been together in a "series" relationship for 7 years? That's quite a long time to waste your time with someone you "think" you love. Really, all your words are scrambled in my head, cause that's how you typed them. I'll just say yes, break up.
2007-07-13 05:33:00 · answer #7 · answered by ron-D 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Move on, and see if he would follow without asking him to. Chances are, he won't. If so, just remember him as someone that was nice knowing, like a fond ex, and find a real home maker and husband. Sounds like you know what you want, and know what you're not going to have with this mister.
I think your answer lies somewhere in that area where he is not into you enough to choose you as his one and only. Sorry to hear that, but I've been a no-committer myself on occasion, and marriage was never an option to start with, and I never promised it either. I wasn't sure of her, and eventually I moved out, and on with my life.
2007-07-13 05:45:35 · answer #8 · answered by justaguy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to move on. He has had plenty of time to decide what he wants. He is either too immature to marry, or honestly does not want to commit. He has all the perks of a marriage right now, without any of the complications. You need to make your decision, and soon.
2007-07-13 05:33:18 · answer #9 · answered by Helen T 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He probably just needs a wake up call. Sometimes a couple can get comfortable with the way things are and change doesn't seem necessary. Maybe you should just set a wedding date. If he shows up at the church, you will have your answer.
2007-07-13 05:44:24 · answer #10 · answered by I39 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋