There was a hatted girl named Lily
Whose laugh sounded rather quite silly.
She danced on her toes
And spun out of control,
And landed on her poor little tooshie.
And then in her seated sanguinity
She had a strange craving for lolly.
She wrinkled her nose
And then she arose,
And ran all the way to her Swedey!
But, alas, when she reached his abode
He was working his little fellow.
Not to be left behind,
She knelt o'er his recline,
And proceed to give him the big O!
2007-07-13 05:02:19 · 16 answers · asked by Moo 3 in Arts & Humanities ➔ Poetry
lolly - a piece of candy; esp. hard candy
I kinda followed the traditional limerick pattern.
E.g.
The limerick packs laughs anatomical
Into space that is quite economical,
But the good ones I've seen
So seldom are clean,
And the clean ones so seldom are comical.
2007-07-13 05:22:16 · update #1
Yeah, I know it's too long for a limerick.
Actually, I put the 3 limericks to complete some sort of silly story.
I was just having fun, which are what limericks are intended to be.
2007-07-13 05:34:28 · update #2
Suggestions: rhyming is poor in some places (silly sound nothing like tooshie), and generally limericks are shorter.
Don't get me wrong though, it was cute :)
2007-07-13 05:05:35 · answer #1 · answered by Dan Theman 4 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Both the rhyme and the rhythm limps in places. You need to read it out loud to find the errors. Never heard the word lolly before.
When you sit in a dentist's chair
It can be painful and most unfair
You brush your teeth and floss them, too
And still the dentist picks on you.
(rhyming couplets by Ellen Anthony)
2007-07-13 05:16:31 · answer #2 · answered by loryntoo 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
The rhythm is all wrong for a limerick. Plus I do not understand it. But annnnyways...try following this rhythm:
A primal termite knocked on wood
He tasted it and found it good
And that is why your Cousin May
Fell through the parlor floor today.
and oldie but goodie..he he
2007-07-13 05:12:35 · answer #3 · answered by Shar 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
at present in foodstuff tech, our instructor died her hair a reddy crimson. She alwasy does this chuffed dance and he or she kinda sounds like those people from the grinch wit those noses. Any procedures our total classification became into bagging the hell out of her and he or she did not observe. I t became into hillarious. And My basically right acquaintances stored Sayying Random Thiings Like Steph ( a woman i dont like ) feels like the octopus from pirates of the carribean. I Had the basically right day ever. =]
2016-09-29 22:13:15 · answer #4 · answered by geissel 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
lemmy guess. School's out, you're not on vacation. You have no where to go and nothing to do. Yep, I can relate. That's pretty much why I'm on here.
2007-07-13 05:06:55 · answer #5 · answered by NatNat 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
The last verse rhymes nicely.
2007-07-13 05:05:37 · answer #6 · answered by Steve C 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try smoking cigars with your mother, or vice versa.
2007-07-13 05:05:06 · answer #7 · answered by Alien Brain 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You must be really bored!
PS: Obviously I am bored too.
2007-07-13 05:04:13 · answer #8 · answered by JennyJo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
not a limerick...but a bad attempt to one
2007-07-13 05:07:08 · answer #9 · answered by la dolce vita 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
k
2007-07-13 05:04:23 · answer #10 · answered by raz 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋