This close friend ' X 'of mine who im sure is gay but he has never confessed and he has grown an emotional bonding with another of my friend 'Y' .'X' always tries to dominte him .He takes care of his financial needs and wants him to always listen to him.He gets angry when 'y' doesnt listen to him and then goes into depression.Once after a fight with 'Y' he took four crocins in two days and threw his mobile phone and did not talk to anybody except me.everytime they fight 'x' calls me up and cries infront of me and this turns my mood off.'Y' told me that once 'x' had tried to lure him into having sex with him but he had declined.I told 'y' that he needs to tell 'x' straight away that he is not gay but he doesnt listen.
So i see this as like 'x' trying to bring 'y' closer to him (make him gay) by giving him money.'y' trying to just use 'x' .recently 'x' bought a laptop so that 'y' cud play fifa.both are close friends of mine and i dont want their life to be spoiled .what shud i do?
2007-07-13 04:25:46 · 9 answers · asked by koolriks 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
Wow! On the surface at least, 'y' is a manipulative user, and 'x' is just hopelessly naiive. I think you really need to sit down and have a talk with 'x', get him to admit that he's in love with 'y', and list all the instances you've witnessed where it looks like he's trying to buy 'y's affection, because he may be in denial that he's doing it. It may blow up in your face, if 'x' just gets defensive and angry at you. And 'y' may get pissed at you, if it works and 'x' confronts him and stops buying him things. You could try to sit them both down in the same room, and tell it as you see it, but that may cost you two friends since 'x' may deny it and interpret it as jealosy, and 'y' will interpret it as butting in. Any way I look at it, if you confront one of them you have a good chance of losing at least one friend, but if you really care about them I don't see how you have a choice.
2007-07-13 05:16:17 · answer #1 · answered by kena2mi 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you want to continue being friends with either 'X' or 'Y', STAY OUT OF IT. I know you want to be a good friend, but it sounds to me like you will end up being a lightning rod for a lot of hostility when this mess blows up...and trust me, it will. While X isn't getting a clue about Y, Y is also taking complete advantage of X's generosity. Which is why the statements here about X trying to convert Y just crack me up. So Y refuses to be "turned into a homo," but doesn't mind accepting little gifts from X...like a laptop? That certainly says a lot about Y's character, doesn't it?
I know you want to be a good friend, just as I have in the past, when I've found myself in a similar situation like this. If you do want to help, try this: tell X and Y that they need to hash this out, and that you want nothing to do with either of them until they do. Is it risky? Yep, sure is. Could you lose both their friendships? Not if they really care about you. Hopefully, this will make them see not only how they're hurting each other, but how unfair their behavior is to you.
If not, then maybe you can make some newer (and more emotionally stable) friends.
2007-07-13 04:57:34 · answer #2 · answered by dreamchaser8860 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I wish I knew. And that is not comparable to I havent given this concern any theory the two, you in basic terms pass to play it via ear (i'm not muslim, yet an identical subculture i assume, one that does arranged marriages and disowns human beings). with out this sounding like my handbook to being a coward i'd say this, he's in basic terms pass to make carefull selections, and do issues via levels; to avert being married mutually as interior the closet, you obtain to forster an environment of 'being very choosy' with the relatives. (i'm 25 now, and over the hill. they are commencing to settle for i admire my own area and choose to do my own concern) i'd pass away personaly, if he does not sense secure or satisfied then why stick around, he's have been given a level, he can pass everywhere and do something. advise a spot year or something...'pass discover himself' in india or something. i'm constructive he isn't the only gay individual in a muslim united states, what do something of them do? it truly is a sturdy question. i'm hoping all of it works out ok, it truly is a troublesome one. If I coud answer that myself i does not be so a procedures up sht creek as i'm now.
2016-10-21 03:19:24 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave that alone. They're both in the wrong here. They're going to hurt each other, and they seem pretty intent on doing it, even if it's unintentional. If you try to stop it, you'll just wind up more stressed than you need to be. Stay out of it. When they run each other into the ground, you won't go down with them.
2007-07-13 04:44:35 · answer #4 · answered by pjonkml 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Sit them down together and be the mediator as they discuss their feelings (or lack thereof) for one another. X has to get the picture someday, y'know? If Y is straight and has no intention of being with X, then X has a right to know that no matter what he does, Y will never be with him and he should just accept that, y'know?
2007-07-13 04:32:02 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
um wow...X is... wow, I think what you should do is to have them both have a meet up "WITH" you and try to talk it out. Y need to tell him straight and clearly that he is not gay and X should understand, trying to convert soemone from straight to gay is just wrong. Tell X that there are many men out there. and Y should stop takign stuff from X and use him and tell him that he dont need it and should stop giving him stuff becuase he not goign to like X as a boyfriend. Sometime gay men have the thought of tryign to bend a straight guys and i know alot of gay men who fall for straight guys constantly but alway end up in depression and just hurt themself, if both of them wotn do anything about it you should help them if they are yoru good friend, but try not to get them in an arguement and try not to get them to hate you ok? Good luck
2007-07-13 04:34:50 · answer #6 · answered by truth 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Do you also need help trying to play with fire, seeking for ways to not get burned?
2007-07-13 04:41:14 · answer #7 · answered by Atom 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
'X' is obioviosly in love with 'Y'!
Unfortunatly,'y' dosn't feel anything for'x',
and if 'Y' is just using 'X', then maybe you should tell 'X'.As for 'X' trying to lure 'Y',
well,that's just not right!
Maybe you should consider private counseling for both of them.
Don't worry.You are just trying to help them, not cause any drama.
Sincerly,
TIGER LADY
[P.S. you are a good friend.]
2007-07-13 05:12:49 · answer #8 · answered by Tigeress 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Gross, run fast, away far far away
2007-07-13 05:10:28 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋