what to do we need legal advice?

Question

my husband has a child from another relationship and he has tryed for vistations and won but now the mother is putting threats on our phone not to mention we have to pay childsupport and day care for the child while the child is hear with us the mother won't even help with the child cost and I feel that it's not far why pay child support for a child that is not in the mothers care .hell when we picked the child up the child didn't even have any night clothes or close toe shoes he had to fight with the mother to even put enough clothes for the child and we dont know what to do also other things that wasn't right when we picked the child .I know that alot of fathers dont do for their kids but do you think it's right when you have a dad that is willing to do the right thing no matter what help please

Answer 1

Save the threats call the police, hire an attorney. She can be arrested for that sort of thing. Is the child living with you all the time or is this just a visitation situation, if the child is in your care permanently you can have child support stopped and have her pay. Good Luck.

Answer 2

You address a lot of issues here.

First, with the child care, generally both parents have to split the cost of day care. If the child doesn't have day care at mom's house, why should mom have to pay for you to put the child in day care.

The costs that child support is supposed to cover are ongoing costs -- not just groceries. So if the child lives more than 50% of the time with mom -- she still has to pay for utilities, rent, etc. that are more with a child. If you have a 50/50 split, then you may not need to have child support.

Either way, you need to speak to an attorney. They are the ones who can give you true legal advice. Anything you get here may be a guess rather than true knowledge of the situation.

And the custodial parent, to my knowledge, does not need to provide clothes while the child is in your care. Purchase night clothes, closed toe shoes, and other clothes on your own, and keep those clothes with you. This way the child will have their own stuff and it doesn't go back to mom's place.

Answer 3

Dear Bunny,

With child visitation, it's rather like training a dog. You must begin by enforcing THE RULES. However, while doing so, be SMART and minimize the chances for problems to arise. YES, there is a way.

1. Prior to the little one's next visit, go to a thrift shop and buy a small wardrobe. Wash everything and have it ready. Take a complete outfit with you to the mom's place and dress the child in the clothes before you leave. Don't worry about what she's packed. You will have what you need. You didn't spend a bundle on it, but it's clean, it fits and the child will always be appropriately clothed. Just before you return the child, put on some of the things the mom sent. That way, you won't lose any of the clothes you have bought.

This puts the mom on notice that you are not going to be influenced by her lack of cooperation - on top of that, you have said to her in easy to understand actions that you know she doesn't have the good sense to dress her own child correctly.

2. Do not go with your husband to pick up the child. Let him go alone. This will minimize her jealousy and, hopefully, allow them to see that they must work for the child's good, not their own agenda.

3. When you return the child, be certain to be exactly on time. Do not be casual with your end of the agreement for times and dates of visitation.

One final thing, the child support must continue even when the little one is with you because the mom still needs to maintain her household. Rent does not stop. Bills for utilities do not stop. Most of her major expenses to keep a house for the child do not stop because the child is not there. So, the child support must continue whether the little one is with mom or dad. Keep it firmly in mind that the money is for the child, not the mom, and you will come to feel better about this as you come to know and love the child. The little one needs all the love, understanding, and protection you both can give.

I applaud your husband that he is willing to be there for his child. He is definitely a keeper, hon. Support him all you can. You'll both be happy you did the right thing. :)

Answer 4

Two different things here; child support is fathers finacial responsibility to his child while visitation is his paternal responsibility to the child and the two unfortunately dont coincide with each other. Now from what Im reading he could go for custody of the child on the basis of neglect. Then also let the Judge know about the threats shes making. Hopefully youve kept records of all this as this would definitely help in a custody case. Good luck

Answer 5

First of all, how long has the child been with the NON-Custodial parent and where do you live?

Also, there is no WE in this situation. This is your husband's issue. And if you think I'm being anal about this, in my 35 years of legal practice, I've seen more than 20 stepparents kicked out of the courtroom for using the language that you used (i.e., the "WE" word) because the court will not recognize you in this situation.

Answer 6

Take the mother to court for maintenance so you two can get custody and and quit paying child support, but don't quit paying unless you have a court order because if you do, you're husband could be thrown in jail for being in contempt of court. If she is an unfit mother, which it sounds like that's the case, call DHS and report her and file at least for temp. custody until you can go for permanent.

Answer 7

simple...you provide the clothing or whatever is necessary while the child is at your house...YOU KEEP THOSE THINGS AT YOUR HOUSE...send the child home in the clothes that he was wearing when u picked him up

Answer 8

get a lawyer and try to gain custody of this child