why does my mom want to know all my passwords?

Question

well i have a myspace, and messenger. and my mom said i could have both. but now, all the sudden, she wants to know my passwords. i tryed to talk her out of it, because it seems lke she doesent trust me, but nothing works. she does have my passwords, but i feel like im always being watched!

Answer 1

Privacy Trauma

Try to get them to trust you ...

My parents do that to me too, all the time ...

I'll be the next 40 year old virgin ...

Answer 2

Your mother has been around longer than you have, and she probably knows a lot of the dangers that lurk around each corner. "Bad" people are using the internet to lure innocent kids into doing things that they would never think about doing if they just met this stranger on the street. But because it is so simple to email, blog, or private chat with people, you think you are safer than you really are.

Human nature is that your parents try to protect you, and so her maternal instincts have kicked in. If you never give her any reason to doubt your judgment or your honesty, then she will probably respect your privacy and leave things be. If you are not trustworthy, she may check to make sure that the passwords are still valid, and may scan a few emails now and then just to make sure nothing strange is going on.

Here is a worst case scenario: Let's say that you think you are in love with someone on the 'net and go to meet them, only to find out it's a creep who wants to assault you. In the event that you go "missing", she can have access to your emails and messenger list to help the police try to locate you. Without that, it may take longer to find you, and the first 24 hrs in a missing person's case is the most critical.

You may want to sit down with Mom and tell her that you don't mind that she has the passwords, but that you would like to know if she decides that she needs to examine your accounts, and explain how it makes you feel she does not trust you. A heart to heart with her when you both are not upset may help her see your point of view. I assume that you do not have access to her email account, diary, or some other area that she may be keeping private. Perhaps you can ask her how she would feel if you had access to these, even if you did not actually look at the details.

Answer 3

Even though this sounds like a new problem to you, its the same problem that's been around since parents had kids.

Parents want/need to both let their kids explore the world, but also protect their kids.

If you are young, let her have all the passwords, and don't sneak new ones. Build up her trust. Talk to her. Show her your realize the dangers and are mature enough to face the world.

Later, tell her you had to change the password on one, ask if she wants the password. If you've been mature, she will probably decline and you will have gained your freedom and her respect.

"It's hard to raise good parents"

Answer 4

It is probably not you that she doesn't trust, it's all the sicko's out there who use the internet to exploit other people that she doesn't trust.

It is her responsibility to keep a watchful eye out for your protection and with all the ways the internet provides to communicate that is no easy job.

Try to understand your mom's point of view, ask if she will explain exactly what she plans to do with your passwords and be appreciative that you have someone willing to take the time to look out for your best interests.

Answer 5

If you don't have any secrets, you have nothing to hide.
you shouldn't have ANY secrets from your Mother.



Yeah, you can have secrets from your mom. I do (and me and my mom are really close), I think everybody has there own little secrets. Maybe she doesn't want her mom knowing that she likes Kyle. Or that she doesn't like Susy. Or that she actually likes cooking, even though she pretends to hates it. None of those are "harmful" secrets. If she was doing drugs, then yeah, it would be a problem.

But to the threadstarter, I would just explain to her that you do have secrets on there, and that you would feel violated or uncomfortable with her reading them. It's just like reading a diary, it's not like you have anything to "hide", but you just want your space.
But if there are no secrets on there, let her look around. Then change your password.

Answer 6

If you are under the age of 18, then unfortunately you do not have an expectation of privacy. As your legal guardian, you mother is allowed to know all your passwords and may check your online accounts at any time, just as she may enter your room when she wishes.

Yes, I know it seems unfair but that is simply how things are. I know all my son's passwords and I check his online accounts every now and then.

Answer 7

Well she's a mother.. Everyone has one. Mothers are supposed to be over-protective. Just tell he ryou need your privacy and need your space. Change your passwords first, then tell her. What's the worst that cna happen? Good luck.

Answer 8

Parents like to feel they have control over thier children. When they are on the internet, they lose that control, but by having all your passwords, they gain some of it back.

Answer 9

Hello Sweetie,
Your mother loves you and wants what is best for you. I've been there too, and believe me, you will thank her later when you get more sense.. With all the sickos out there, you should be glad she is trying to protect you!

Answer 10

She is worrying about you is all - she should either trust you though or ban you from using them though. You need to learn to look after your passwords! They are meant to be private.