is that still considered "cheating"? And/or if you don't do it, but want sex really bad are you cheating yourself?
2007-07-13 04:07:29 · 27 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
thats kinda weird, but i've told my husband that, and if he did i'd be ok with it.... as long as thats all it was :-p but he never would
2007-07-13 04:12:55 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
I would find out why my spouse is treating me this way and try to fix the problem. I would be really hurt and feel rejected that my spouse suggested for me to get my intimacy else where because this attitude is wrong. I would wonder if this person is trying to find an excuse to leave me if I acted out on that suggestion? Before I would feel that I had to do that and make things worse I would just leave the relationship first. I would never accept this comment to push me away and would feel the person owed me more than that. I would have to understand why our relationship is not important to that person anymore. I would not let this person feel that I needed to cheat when my love and affection should be met by the person I am married to! If the spouse thinks this is ok to push me off on somebody else I would question if they still wanted to be married to me. I would find out what my spouse is having a problem with here and give them a choice to work on things. If the spouse refuses to work with me I would leave and be right with the person who does want intimacey with me. Best wishes sweetie.
2007-07-13 13:08:57 · answer #2 · answered by Lindsey 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
yes its still cheating. u took a vow to "one and only". There are deeper issues here that are causing her to feel this way. The are many things that would make her resort to this. Chances are something happened between u and u didn't see it. Perhaps it was several things building upon each other. U need to have a serious conversation with your wife. Some marriage counseling may be in order. I see why u might think it would be cheating urself to not act on the offer. But don't...get to the bottom of the issue. There is no excuse for infidelity! Also if u act on this, there may come a time were she gets angry at u for taking her up on her offer. This could also be her way to see if u would actually do something. TALK TO HER....YOUR MARRIAGE COULD BE IN SOME SERIOUS TROUBLE AND U DON'T EVEN KNOW IT.
2007-07-13 11:18:46 · answer #3 · answered by mrsprincess07 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Chances are they are telling you this not so you will cheat, but so you will get off their back about it.
Why doesn't your spouse want sex. Is it because you are being a selfish prig and don't want to listen to your spouse's needs? Perhaps they need more than just whining about how you don't get any. Perhaps they are depressed.
Try to get to the heart of the matter and find out WHY they don't want sex. There are drugs on the market that will help with some problems. And sex breeds more sex -- make sure you make it pleasurable for your spouse (not just a chore that has to be done to keep your mouth shut about it.)
2007-07-13 11:14:51 · answer #4 · answered by mj69catz 6 · 0⤊ 3⤋
Sex is an important part of a relationship but it should not be the foundation of the relationship. Yes it is considered cheated because regardless of whether or not your spouse "told" you to get it elsewhere, you know that it's not right and you know that you are not supposed to be getting it elsewhere. Find out why he/she doesn't want to have sex. If it is a medical problem then they need to go to the doctor. If they are depressed then help them to get help. If they are lazy and simply does not want to have sex, then get a counselor and try to work it out and if it fails then address divorce.
2007-07-13 11:11:56 · answer #5 · answered by Hoping he will bless me with #1 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Ouch! That's quite rejecting to be so disinterested in your husband's moral values as to send him off to someone else.
Bottom line, you choose my friend. If you DO go with other women, you are likely to pay for it in some way or another. Not worth it. I don't advocate divorce, but try and see if she cares enough about your well being to find out why she is not interested in you. If she couldn't even care to do that, to be close to you and to try, I would really think you should rather get divorced and find a woman who is sexually, emotionally, and spititually in tune with you, like you are with her.
I sense deep emotional incompatibilities in your relationship. In marriage, sex is a physical expression of emotional interest and caring, not a physical thing.
At least your wife is being honest. She does not want to have sex with you. It is actually better than her faking it all the time, or moaning when you do try and make love, and wasting years of both your lives.
I feel for you, but you need to take care of yourself. She is clearly taking care of herself.
Your question is not an easy one to answer, but if you are the type of husband who wants to screw around, you'll do it. However, if you are not, it is best to dissolve your marriage so you won't feel guilty for cheating on your wife or for being manipulated into screwing around and hating yourself. Not worth it at all.
Tough choices to make, but you already know the answers inside your heart.
Good luck
2007-07-13 11:23:19 · answer #6 · answered by justaguy 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think you're misreading your spouse.
When your spouse isn't interested in having sex with you it's because she's not happy about something you've done or not done or you may have some unsettled petty quarrels in your recent past and she doesn't feel ready to be intimate with you yet.
It certainly is not a permit for you to get it elsewhere. It will only aggravate the problem. Talk to your spouse to settle whatever issue that's preventing both of you from becoming intimate with each other.
After the kiss and make up, sex will be greater than before.
2007-07-13 11:16:03 · answer #7 · answered by Alex T 3 · 1⤊ 2⤋
ummmm yes and no, yes b/c you are still having sex with someone else other than your spouse and no b/c your spouse told you too but if you aske me it sounds like he/she isnt interested in you at all and possibly has someone on the side and is getting it from them. but yes it is cheating, ask for a councleor
2007-07-13 11:11:46 · answer #8 · answered by i should be a councelor 1 · 0⤊ 2⤋
If she says get it elsewhere be sure that is in writing and the legalese is approved by your lawyer. Yes it is considered sheating and if you do have sex elsewhere she can take more of your property in a divorce which is were your headed. The besst thing is to divorce then go find someone who wants it.
2007-07-13 11:11:32 · answer #9 · answered by fortyninertu 5 · 2⤊ 2⤋
If she said to get it elsewhere then it's not cheating. But you married HER, if you wanted sex elsewhere you would have married elsewhere. But if you don't want a divorce and you want sex and she's not giving it up, then what other choice do you have but to get it elsewhere? Good luck.
2007-07-13 11:12:45 · answer #10 · answered by Brandy 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I feel its still cheating even if your spouse approve of it. And if your spouse is saying its okay to cheat. Then maybe there is a bigger issue.
2007-07-13 11:11:17 · answer #11 · answered by Brezzy 3 · 1⤊ 2⤋