I don`t love the woman I`m married but I don`t want to be part of a disrupted family and of course I want my child happiness most importantly than any other thing.
2007-07-13 03:33:31 · 20 answers · asked by lMDA 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I never got a chance to start a relationship with the woman I`m in love with because she was with a formal relationship with another man for 5 or 6 years and she was going to get married first than I did, eventually she didn`t. I had to do my life if I wasn´t meant to be with her, found my actual wife everything started ok but I never stop thinking about my true love and I got married because she got pregnant.
2007-07-13 03:45:24 · update #1
Honestly, it will be easier on the kid if you divorce NOW. He/ she won't remember a different sort of household, and if you and your wife are mature, you can still make a good life for your child.
If you don't love your wife, the love isn't going to appear overnight. I'd get out sooner than later, if your mind is made up.
As far as this other love, that's a crapshoot. I wouldn't count on that or leave your wife "for" this other woman. You can cross that bridge once you're out of your marriage and see where it takes you.
2007-07-13 03:39:03 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Then you already know what you can and cannot do.... And sweetie, if you didn't love your wife, why did you put a child on this planet?
But before you bail, as some of your respondents have suggested, let me tell you what has happened to your marriage, and will again, should you choose to sire more children--with this lady, or any other....:
You and your wife, went from an exclusive relationship, to a crowded one. You WERE the stud, the sex machine the man, the dude, to father and husband... And she went from being the sexy babe, the fox, the wonderful delight, to mother and housekeeper... BANG!!! a 180 degree turn, and suddenly you are no longer in love. You each thought that having a baaaaabeeeeee would be sooo romantic. It ain't, is it? She's tired, the kid is screaming, and you didn't sleep, and have to go to work, and this stranger is interfering in your "marriage". Now you long to be in a more exciting time with a lady you knew eons ago... Normal....every couple goes thru it. She as well, wonders where is the guy I married???? He isn't attentive any more, and I look awful after being preggers.
But no one told you this would happen, did they? Don't bust up your marriage, hon. The two of you need to have a few sessions of counseling to get your marriage back on track. This problem is SOOOOOO common that it is about the first thing one learns in Marriage and the Family, 101. We don't teach this is hs.... we ought to. As a public school teacher, my apologies
You had a child tooooo soon in your relationship. Your marriage never got to fully bond before you had parental responsibilities... we don't teach that either...
Hon, get some counseling.. A few sessions is about all you need. Even an incompetent counselor can get you two thru this .....
2007-07-13 03:39:51 · answer #2 · answered by April 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry to say that if your not truly happy then you won't be able to be happy for your child. There are many children out there that do just fine with their parents separated. And if you do something now rather than when they are older it is easier for them to adjust to the change. It doesn't make you a failure. I think it would make you stronger. If you live on regret you won't be happy. You never know she may feel the same way and the 2 of you are staying together for the child. Eventually something bad will happen. I don't think it is a good situation.
If you see this other woman at all then you are being a cheat and I am sure you don't want your child to learn to lie and cheat. Even if you don't think that they see it, the children do. they are smarter than you think they are.
Good luck in making your decision
2007-07-13 03:55:46 · answer #3 · answered by neffer 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It doesn't sound like you are one of those people that take commitment lightly and put yourself before your child. Kudos to you.
You are making the right choice by standing by your wife and your child and providing a good home for both. Although it may seem like you won't get over this other woman, I encourage you to try. When she enters your mind, change the subject - not that hard to do - we do it all the time out loud. I call it changing the station. Focus on your wife and all her good qualities and compliment her on them. Focus on your child and the unconditional love you get from him/her. There is plenty to be positive about. Sometimes we have to make sacrifices and when we do, it usually turns out better then we could have ever expected.
Congratulations on being mature and putting your child's needs before your own. It is so rare today.
2007-07-13 03:53:19 · answer #4 · answered by Stefka 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Youre being selfish!! If your not in love with the one you married then yall obviously aren't having a great marriage. Let her go and be happy. Be with the one you love. It doesn't feel right because its not. Your child is young enough to not be too affected by it as much as he would if he was older. Good luck!
2007-07-13 03:39:30 · answer #5 · answered by B 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to put your child first. That's the trouble with having just sex, an innocent child is brought into the world with the likely hood of not having a good family live. Please do your best to make your marriage work, you might learn to love your wife, for being a good mother to your child.
2007-07-13 03:45:31 · answer #6 · answered by LIPPIE 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They will take money out of his check and give her so you guys wont have to deal with her which is good. But they will take back child support too for the past 3 years which is gonna be hard on you because thats more money out of his pocket. But at least you guys wont have to deal with her but he should see the child every child has the right to know its father thats really sad. He should get fixed! Good Luck to you!
2016-04-01 02:22:18 · answer #7 · answered by Louise 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you think the grass is greener. You should never have married your wife if you weren't in love with her. Why do you think things will work out with this other women? Have you had contact with her? How much contact?
2007-07-13 03:47:46 · answer #8 · answered by joamccoy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're a fraud. You intentionally mislead your wife into thinking she was the one when all the while you were in love with another one. Fraud's are way too self-centered to be concerned about children. You're thinking about the child support you don't want to pay.
2007-07-13 03:46:14 · answer #9 · answered by Sondra 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
why did you marry her?
You made a vow to be a loving, faithful, honorable husband and you should uphold that!
If you have loved this other woman for 8 years why did you not marry her?
Trying not to judge but need more details
2007-07-13 03:36:51 · answer #10 · answered by reciprocityabound 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋