I have a 3yr old daughter that is a whinney PiStol. Her father left me when he found out I was pregnant and has never seen her. So I recentley married again and are 8mo pregnant and my new husband picks on my 3yr old and has no compassion towards her when she does somthing wrong. He thinks I treat her like a baby but I just hate too see her upset it breaks my heart. Is hard to except step children I just dont understand why he is so uncompassionate towards her.
2007-07-13 02:53:47 · 13 answers · asked by gerh s 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Ok...He shouldn't be mean to the child but COME ON!!! She's going to have to be upset for her own good. Giving in to her just because you don't want to see her cry is setting her up for many disappointments in life. You just can't always get your way.
The husband should be mean to you because she is a product of how you raised her. Both of you are doing damage to her. You for making her believe that she is entitled to every little thing and him for trying to break her spirit.
PARENTING classes for you and tell him if he has a problem with her...come to you. his is NOT allowed to abuse her. EVER!!!!
Breaks your heart??? Wait until she's a teenager and breaking your heart because she has no respect for her weak mother.
2007-07-13 03:05:27 · answer #1 · answered by Lotus Phoenix 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
From my experiences, espaecially growing up with a step father myself, he has No right to treat your daughter like that. My step dad was so mean to me. Verbal abuse, lots of it. He treated my step sister and half sister so much better than me. I thought I was worthless, and didn't deserve anything out of life. This is how he made me feel the whole time he and my mom were married! Eventually, my mom seen I was more important than him, and left him. Cuz of how he treated me.
You shoul have a serious talk with your hubby. If he doesn't love your daughter, then he doesn't love you!! This man destroyed my childhood, and teen years. I am lucky to have turned out to be such a sweet compassionate person, cuz he sure was NOT a good influence on me.
If you feel that your husband is not compassionate toward your daughte, or that maybe he dont love her like his own, you need to do something. And fast! Don't let him disresepct her. He should love your daughter like his own. If he dont, something is wrong here. Do something:)
Trust me....
2007-07-13 03:01:14 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Heather W. has a point....it will destroy your daughter's childhood. Honey if he treats her like that he needs to get the boot. There are plenty of men that love and will tak ein your daughter as his own. I had a 3 years old when I met my husband and the reason I fell in love with him was the way he treated my son...from day one he has loved my son as his own. He disciplines him but he knows that its part of being a parent..now we have a boy and a girl together and not ever have I seen him play favoritism. There are men out there for single mom with kids....so please do not put your daughter and yourself in that situation. She is your baby girl and she deserves to be spoiled by her mommy. Good luck
2007-07-13 03:33:50 · answer #3 · answered by Moni 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He probably doesn't intentionally treat her bad. Guys have a huge ego and she probably reminds him of the fact that there was another man. Even though it was before him, some guys don't like to think about their wife with other men in their past. This child reminds him of that everyday. It may sound shallow but its true. You should talk to him. Explain to him that you love him and you're going to love the unborn child with all of your heart, but you also love your daugther with all of your heart. Tell him that you understand he may not have the same relationship with her as with a child that is his own but you would like him to at least try for you. She is and will always be apart of your life. He has to change his ways now before she gets older and begins to feel the hostility and hate him. Once that happens, there is a huge split in your family that is sometimes unfixable. Talk to him. Be understanding and sympathetic but get your point across. Good luck.
2007-07-13 03:01:36 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Talk with your husband about it and let him know that you are willing to work with him on disciplining her. Tell him that you recognize that sometimes you let things go that you shouldn't and point out that he's too hard on her sometimes, that way he doesn't feel like you're attacking him if you point out your flaws too. Work out some kind of mutual agreement as to how you want to discipline her.
You two may have to help each other out on this, he may need to ask you to step in correct her (which is important b/c you don't want her to think she can run all over you) and you may need to ask him to take the back seat sometimes.
2007-07-13 03:10:22 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your husband cannot treat your daughter with kindness you need to do the right thing and leave him. NOW. Your daughter is probably a "whinney pistol" because of the way she is being treated. You are allowing child abuse. Please help her.
2007-07-13 03:07:36 · answer #6 · answered by Ruth 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Did he treat your child like this before you married him?? If you are married he should understand that he needs to accept your child as well. You two are a team and need to find a way to act like that, especially when it comes to raising children. You need to be a united front on how you plan on raising these children, you both need to discuss how you feel situations should be handled when they come up. These are things you should discuss before this new baby is born.
2007-07-13 02:59:56 · answer #7 · answered by Jenn 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ut oh! I see trouble in the future for you girl. Your husband to be needs to accept your daughter with open arms. Why would a grown man pick on a little girl? He should have a lot of compassion for her...she is your daughter.
2007-07-13 02:59:47 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Was he like that before you got married? If so you should have talked to him about it then. Your daughter does need to be disiplined though. She cant go around being whinney all her life. If she is naughty she needs to be reprimanded. Maybe thats what he is trying to show you. Start now while she is still young before the baby comes and before she is older. Good luck
2007-07-13 02:59:22 · answer #9 · answered by llexiann30 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Well maybe he is and is picking on her cuz she is so fun to pick on so he is having fun with her there.OK so now the other problem,she is a baby still and you should treat her like that but when she does something wrong you need to stop with all the nice mommy act K?? hope that helps ya bye??
2007-07-13 03:00:01 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋