Would you...?

Question

...go for a sailing trip of one week with your work team?

My boss is organizing a "lab retreat" on a sailing boat: one week´s sailing in the Mediterranean sea. He says it should serve as a "bonding excercise". The idea sounds interesting, but the concern is the whole group (7 people in total) being restricted in a small space for 7 long days....

Would you go?

No spouses or partners invited!
The boss should pay for the renting of the boat, but I think we should contribute to extra expenses....

P.s: I am asking out of curiosity as - if decided - we have no choice but going and calling him "Captain"!!

Answer 1

yes, I would / actually, I'd like to.

It would be a great chance to build a real relationship with these folks - working together everydaz doesn't mean knowing each other. I would make sure to bring Ipod *charged*, earplugs (because of the proximity any snoring would be unwelcome), and one or two excellent books - this should guarantee a certain autonomy. Also / a lady though: if you are expecting a period during those days, I would move it (by staying on the pill longer, I am sure you know how it works), as on a boat with only a bathroom... there is a kind of intimacy that is not good to share.

Answer 2

I used to work for an outdoor organization that sometimes offered week long adventure trips for organizations trying to provide a bonding experience. What I saw was that if the group was there voluntarily and wanted to participate, it was a great experience for everyone. If it was forced on people who were not into it, it accomplished the opposite. Nobody likes being forced to do things they don't want to and this will affect the dynamics of the entire group.

If you have no choice my advice is to try to enjoy it. I have owned several sailboats and frequently charter as well. The mediterannean is a great place to visit and you will be getting a great vaction experience for free. (Chartering a boat generally costs well over $1,000/person) Space on a sailboat will probably be tight, but without knowing what boat you will be on, I can't say how tight, however between the sleeping areas, living areas, cockpit, and deck, there is plenty of room to get away from the crowd. Also, I'm sure you will be spending time on shore, snorkeling, swimming, etc, so it's not like you will be living the entire week in the confines of the boat. In a small space there are things you can do to help everyone get along, the biggest of which is keep things tighty. If you are prone to motion sickness, start taking a medication before the cruise. Many make people drowsy the day afer they start taking it, so I often start the night before I fly so that drowsiness won't be a factor the first day out. A few other tips: Pack light, bring something nice to wear ashore, but you'll probably want to wear swimsuits or shorts and t-shirts out sailing. Don't bring black soled shoes for wear on the boat. The person in charge is the captain and has legal and financial responsibilities as such, so respect their role and decisions.

Bottom line: Spending a week sailing in the med is an opportunity many people take time off work for and spend a lot of money to do, so go into it with a postive attitude, appreciate the opportunity and enjoy the week.

Answer 3

I would, if you're asking me. But, you&I are probably not in the same or even similar positions.
I think the key Q here is whether your boss is in a committed relationship himself. If he is, and is still organizing this "no partners/spouses" trip, he definitely has a plan. And no, I'm not a fan of conspiracy theories. But I somehow sense he's after those Lovely Green Eyes, and if you feel like putting yourself to this little test - then why not? You should go, as some things may look clearer after this trip. Or they may look even more complicated, but at least you'll know more about your relationship.
Anyway, even if I'm totally wrong about this, it's still true that the phase of a relationship when you get to know each other is the most exciting, so take the trip and find out.

Answer 4

If I could bring my spouse or if I were single I would go, otherwise I would not go.

I do not believe that "bonding exercises" are particularly effective for improving the work environement in a research lab setting. It is better if people can work together, but I don't think an exercise like this would help, honestly.

But I'd go if I were single or could bring my spouse just for the experience.

Answer 5

Yes I have been wanting to go sailing for ages.
Plus on a boat in the middle of the sea; a great place to get rid of obnoxious people!!!

Answer 6

I would use the expenses as an excuse not to go. I would hate to have to do such a "bonding exercise," and the idea that it would be at sea, where I couldn't get away, is frightening. I'd be paranoid about it the whole time, and frankly, I wonder what this guy's motivation is.

Answer 7

Wow! No matter how I slice this, I think your boss has a really bad idea.

Let me start with your added info.

Employees are not slaves, and so *of course* you can refuse to go. And it should be made clear to him during the planning stages that any and all employees have the right to say no – this might spare him a lot of trouble later when people actually refuse.

If push comes to shove, I would simply say “As a woman, I do not feel comfortable with this trip”, and then make it stick no matter what he says. It is an easy position for you to take and one that he cannot alter: a confined and isolated environment among people you don’t know socially, with little privacy (how many sleeping cabins are there?), and a unisex bathroom. He cannot force you to go, and if he tries and badgers you, go to his boss or directly to the human resources people where you work.

If worse comes to worse and you end up coerced into the trip, you can still escape at the end with an “nonverifiable excuse”, like a family crisis. And then, when they are going to depart, you take a train trip to anywhere for a couple of days.

Secondly, a boss should not force his employees to spend their money to satisfy his desires. It is his idea and so you and your co-workers should not be expected to cover any of the expenses. Food might be negotiable, but he can’t expect that you would take money out of your private lives – from your future or family – to pay for hotels, airplane tickets to the boat, or anything else. He is phrasing this as a ‘work’ duty, so only work funds should be used.

Thirdly, the purpose of a job is to give you money to further the aspirations of your private life. The money you earn allows you to develop your future with your partner/family/friends. Your boss is making a terrible mistake by not allowing the partners to participate because it is going to establish in their minds that the job is interfering with your relationships, not furthering them. I predict that every single partner will be resentful of this … and rather than building group cohesion, it will build stress in the personal lives which will degrade the commitment to the job.

So now for your question …
There is absolutely no way I would go on this trip. The reasons I gave above are part of it, but (as others have mentioned), my work colleagues are for work, not socializing. The few times I have vacationed with co-workers have exposed our limitations towards each other, and the net result is that we have liked each other less. Ergo, the trips have been bad for morale and cooperation (They think I am patronizing, I think they are immature). So your boss may accomplish the opposite of his stated goal.

Also, adults have complicated lives with family, future and friends to worry about. Involuntarily taking someone away from their life for a week is not helpful; it is actually disruptive, and can even be destructive. So, again, your boss may accomplish things he doesn’t intend if the trip makes a mess of someone’s other – and personally more important – responsibilities, and if this degrades their ability or commitment to work.

Lastly, I would agree with goxy and auntb93 that your boss’s motivations should be questioned. I think his idea is bizarre enough that it really could be cover for him to pursue an affair or try to seduce either you or a co-worker. If this is the case, and he thinks this is trip good cover for these activities, he’s off his gourd. The other 5 people on that boat are going to figure it out in a big hurry, and rather than hiding this from his spouse, he is going to put the rumor mill at work into hyperdrive … 2 might think they were sly, but the other 5 are going to be telling everyone in sight about the infidelity they were forced to be a party to. You can guess the end results!

So: lots of reasons not to go, but only one reason to go – to experience sailing on the Med. Why not torpedo your boss’s idea and save the sailing to do with your partner and a group of friends who you know you will enjoy? It would cost you more money that way, but it will be an investment in your priorities, not your boss’s.

If I were you, I would make it clear to him ASAP that this isn’t going to fly. But then I would propose an alternate: a 2 or 3 day retreat at someplace closer by that has historical interest, natural beauty, or a spa. Invite the spouses and families – this will help them see themselves as partners in the lab, not adversaries of it. Have ‘lab only’ academic sessions in the AM of each day. Each member can present what they have worked on, or a larger set of their ideas, from the last year for positive feedback on one day. On another, your boss should present the overview of the labs goals, and you should all brainstorm about the future approaches to these goals. Develop the feeling of camaraderie not from socializing together, but from seeing the common goals of your work and only emphasizing the positive and your progress.

For one afternoon and one evening, the people should be left to their own devices to socialize as they wish. Another evening could be a group social experience – learning folk dancing, staging a play for yourselves, playing games, etc., with semi-voluntary participation (if someone is really tooooo shy, let them be, but encourage all to join for fun). One afternoon could be to visit someplace as a group – i.e. a historic site, an amusement park, a boat ride on a nearby river, etc. This will be the bonding – and it will build cohesion beyond only the lab members. Your boss should circulate and pay positive attention to each member and their family.

End it all with a dinner or luncheon hosted by the boss, where he thanks everyone and points out positive contributions from each member and their family.

If anything is not voluntary, the boss should cover the cost, or at least the majority of it. Expensive, but probably not much different than that Med vacation.

I think this sort of experience, where people and their families are rewarded several times for their participation and where they are free to choose their level of social interaction with the co-workers is a much more positive approach than his silly boat trip!

Answer 8

I think it would be a great laugh. I could wind them all up at night cos I snore something rotten! Probably find out some great wee nasty habits that people have, then blackmail them when we get back to work. Wouldn't go if I had my period, need my own loo space!!!

Answer 9

Yes I would....no hesitation.....even if it landed up that I suffer from sea sickness since I've never been on a boat, yatch, cruiser or whatever...just for the experience.....

Answer 10

Yeah, you'll get to know things about your team you never imagined, would be quite an eye opener I imagine!