I love my wife dearly and we got married in May of this year. I trust her completely...never had any reason not too. I trust her right now. My concern is with a couple remarks my wife made last night about her exam with her gynocologist. The following is what she told me.
Her appointment was at 9:30am. She arrived ontime and the nurse or assistant took her to an examining room and had her undress. Her gynocologist didn't arrive until about 10:00am and she heard him talking with his female staff. He was searching for a particular music CD. They found it. My wife said, "you'll never believe what he put on." It was a Barry White album and the first song was "Let's get it on!!!". Anyhow, during the examination my wife told me he started talking about how bad he wanted to divorce his wife. He went on and on about wanting out of the marriage as he examined my wife. When I heard this I was shocked at what I considered unprofessional behavior...Read below for more, please
2007-07-13 01:03:34 · 26 answers · asked by Sam 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Anyhow, I told my wife that I thought it was very unprofessional for a doctor to discuss his desire to divorce his wife to a patient. She didn't agree. I guess I got both mad and jealous that she didn't see one thing wrong with his behavior. If you were me, how would you have reacted or handled this information. I went to bed mad, because we had opposite opinions on this doctor's examination room behavior. If I reacted inappropriately, let me know and I will apologize to my wife as soon as I get home. If you feel otherwise, please tell me your personal opinion on this matter. Thank You!!!
2007-07-13 01:08:42 · update #1
By no means am I implying this man is not a good doctor, medically speaking. It just that my doctor ask me questions about me and my life. He listens...he doesn't talk about his life. I'm sure this doctor and my doctor have personal friends to discuss their private lives with. You don't do that with your patients and office staff, right?
2007-07-13 01:17:22 · update #2
You really should be so grateful she openly told you about the incident even if she didn't react the way you thought she should. You should trust in her ability to handle the situation in the way she needed to. Guess what, maybe next time she will be hesitant to tell you things. This is how openess breaks down and eventually the relationship, I can testify to this first hand. I was a completly loyal partner for 14 years, always telling my ex of incidences, but his riduculous insecurity and jealousness eventually pushed me to the point of no return. Yes the doctor was totally innapropriate overstepping professional boundaries, but it is your wife's decision to take it further or not. Tell her you appreciate her honestey and it is because you love her so much that you overreacted and you will try to understand her next time.
2007-07-13 02:28:00 · answer #1 · answered by luvz cars 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The music was just for the office. I don't think it had anything to do with your wife. Now in regards to the conversation, he didn't do anything inappropriate. My OB/Gyn and I always chit chat about random things. Marriage and divorce has been a topic we've covered. Nothing wrong with that. Your wife was not touched inappropriately and he made no apparent advances towards her. If you can find a doctor that you can trust and he trusts you enough to talk about personal issues, you've got a great doc/patient relationship. Good for her. I can understand why you may have gotten a little jealous and angry but you have to let it go and apologize to your wife.
2007-07-13 01:35:04 · answer #2 · answered by jackie_jackie_bo_backie 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That is kind of weird. When I go to visit my gyno, he doesn't play music but we do talk. We talk about kids, the weather and what jokes we have both recently heard that were pretty good. But, he does this so that I am not stressing out during the exam. There is also a nurse in the room during the entire exam and there should have been a nurse in the room when your wife had hers. Doctors always strike up conversations with their patients to put them at ease but I think it was inappropriate for him to be telling your wife about his marital troubles. Honestly, I would have laughed had my gyno played that song. There is nothing sexy about having your yearly check up with the gyno.
2007-07-13 01:26:41 · answer #3 · answered by bluemysti 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I do feel for you Mr but it's time for you to look past this drama. This is the world we live in and you should be happy. I understand everyone circumstances are different, you must take action. How old is your son, if he's older than 12 then please, let this woman stay with the other man. Unless you're missing something out of the story, the woman must have something going for herself. We usually come across women telling this type of story. From what you said, this drama has occur more than once so, seek happiness else where. This type of story will even make your son stronger. Everyone is different therefore, he might handle the news much better than you think. Say they say, there are plenty of fishes in the sea so, try all you can to stay happy and don't let this woman make you unhappy.
2016-05-21 08:46:10 · answer #4 · answered by rosalyn 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If this doctor was a friend of the family or a friend of your wife's, then I could understand him talking to her about his personal life. Other than that, he should keep things on a professional level.
Some office walls aren't that thick, so it's no wonder she heard him talking to his staff. Did your wife ask him if everything was OK? That may have started his conversation. Your wife may have thought it nice that he trusted her enough to tell her about his problems.
This isn't something you should continue to be upset about, though. I hope you two make up soon. Good luck!
2007-07-13 02:08:07 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with you and feel the doctor's behavior was inappropriate but I don't think it's something for you and your wife to fight about. You disagree on the subject, so just let it go. If you feel the doc was putting the moves on your wife and that she can't see this or she enjoys it, then you should say that to your wife. The clearer you make your stance known, the more she'll understand. No man wants another man up inside his wife playing "let's get it on" (and by the way, Marvin Gaye sings that song, not Barry White) and talking about how he wants out of his marriage. Your wife should understand this. But you also have to be clear as to why you object. Hey, that was easy!
2007-07-13 01:38:15 · answer #6 · answered by Brandy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is one of those situations where no one is right or wrong. I understand how you feel and you have every right to feel uncomfortable with what happened. And I think your wife needs to see it from your point of view.
Being at the gynecologists is a very uncomfortable expereience and some doctors do what they can to make it as pleasant as it can possible be. I suppose that is what the music was for. (His song choice was inappropriate) As far as him talking about divorcing his wife, it really does just depend on how comfortable you are with your doctor. It's hard to say if there was more too it than just innocent chatter.
Do you have the right to be upset? Yes you do. Any man would. Talk to your wife again and try not to have attitude. Just talk to her. See if she can see it from your point of view. Suppose you went to a female doctor for something and she started playing Marvin Gaye's Sexual Healing and was talking to you about how unhappy she was in her relationship. How would your wife feel about that?
Sometimes we don't see things as a big deal until we turn the tables and think what if this happened to my spouse? how would I feel? I think if she looks at it from your point of view, she should understand why you were upset even if it was completely innocent. I think she should talk to her doctor the next time she sees him and tell him how his behavior made her a little uncomfortable and if he could choose more appropriate music and not talk about his relationships with her. This should take care of the situation. No good doctor want to make his patients uncomfortable.
Good luck to you both. I hope everything works out. Don't worry. She loves you and if it meant anything to her at all, she wouldn't have even told you about it.
2007-07-13 02:20:57 · answer #7 · answered by fungirl 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I agree, it's not very professional at all for him to talk about personal things with her or any other patient. It would have creeped me out. And honestly, I've never heard of a doctor choosing a music CD right before he goes in for an exam. That office must not be very busy.
2007-07-13 01:11:32 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't know how mad or jealous you should be. How long has she been seeing this doctor? Has he delivered any of your kids? Has she had any major surgeries? Sometimes doctors and patients spend a lot of time together and get comfortable talking about their lives. As long as he was appropriate in the medical aspect and he is a good doctor and your wife wasn't uncomfortable than I wouldn't be upset.
2007-07-13 01:53:15 · answer #9 · answered by confused one 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yeah, unprofessional. I don't want my doctor discussing anything but medical terms while he's got his hand up my hoohoo or feeling my breasts.
Now if you've built that type of relationship with your doctor and he mentioned this in his office then that would be a different story.
The Barry White thing, thats just funny.
2007-07-13 02:05:56 · answer #10 · answered by gypsy g 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋