born gay or not?

Question

i'm a christian. gays say god made them that way because of a mistake. any true christian knows god is perfect. my brother came out a few days ago so i've been pondering homosexuallity a lot. it's really weird. I've known him for 18 years yet never knew he was gay. also, he was sleeping with is gf barely a month ago! i honestly believe being gay is a choice. I also believe homosexuallity is more likely to happen without positive male role models. my mom wears the pants in the house. dad's a pu$$y! following orders and whatnot. before he got married he used to hunt. mom got rid of that. she through a fit when I started karate! she wanted me to quit but i didn't listen because it's my favorite hobby. when i was 13 i got caught w/ porn/playboys and my parents made me feel immoral for it. my gay bro (str8 back then) saw it. if/when i catch my kids w/ porn i'm not gonna panic (depending on their age)

forgot to mention this. some gays say god made them that way and that god made a mistake. god is perfect and has never made a mistake. he has done some things we don't accept or understand, for example, children getting cancer and dying. i don't understand why he'd do that.

Answer 1

gay is a choice. God has nothing to do with it.

Answer 2

I've never heard a gay person say that they were a mistake of creation... that would indeed be denying the nature of god, and would also be tremendously self-loathing. I'm not even Christian, but I do agree with you that god must necessarily be perfect.

A lot of gay people go to great lengths to stay in the closet, like having a straight relationship and even straight sex.

I'm sure you've heard this before, but did you choose to be straight? And why would your brother choose to be gay when gay people face such hardships, like little acceptance from many religious groups (not saying that it is necessarily the case here) and miss out on over one thousand rights, privledges, and benefits by not being able to marry?

Also, so what if your mom is a strong woman? What is wrong with her being able to take responsibility and make things run smoothly? True, your dad may have less than desirable character, but how would his attitude possibly influence your brother's sexual orientation? And, since you are brothers, why is it that he is supposedly so much more susceptable to the influence of your parents than you are (that is, how come you aren't gay then, since you have the same parents)?

I don't see what hunting or karate have to do with sexual orientation either. They're both fun activities typically enjoyed by men more than by women, but you taking karate doesn't make you more manly, and him stopping hunting doesn't make him less manly. And anyway, sexual orientation has nothing to do with manliness. One is not more or less of a man for loving men than for loving women.

Anyway, as to the cause of homosexuality, it is not a choice, and it is not a matter of nurture over nature either (cf. David Reimer, which is more about gender than orientation, but is rather similar). In short, people do seem to be born gay. Whether that is a genetic thing or a hormonal thing, nobody seems to know, and I personally think that it does not matter why, because gay people are already here and we are ok. Also, knowing the "why" would make some people more inclined to treat it as a disease or as something to keep their child from having, and homophobic reproductive technology is very frightening.

But basically, your brother was born gay and was probably putting on an elaborate show to keep you and others from thinking he was gay, and then probably could not take the pressure of hiding or did not want to keep lying about his true self, so he decided to come out. It takes time to adjust, I know, but I highly suggest that you let him know that you are still his brother and you still care about him as a brother and as a fellow Christian. You might even want to go to a PFLAG meeting in your area. Whatever you decide to do, remember that your brother is still a human being worthy of your respect and fraternal love.

Answer 3

Being gay is a choice, but often the choice is made by a child from some kind of influence, innocent or not, and the child may not even know about homosexuality then, also the child may forget the choice but it will remain in the subconscious of many that had made such a choice and can sooner or later re influence them. So we have to have compassion for many children that were influenced, and pray for them, help them understand it was a choice they had made if they do not remember. They may have been just a child as early as three or so even.

As far as children that have sad diseases and die or disfigured at young ages, it has to do with much of our environment. What we may have ate or drank. or in the genes. But if you think it was planned by God, then there was a reason for this and perhaps before even birth a soul may have chose to live that part of the plan for God, his plan, his story.

Answer 4

i belive that to be homosexual is not a choice, its just something you find out when your a little older then your teen years. God is perfect and he made everything and everyone for a reason so if he wants some one to be gay so be it. I always think that someone might be gay for how they talk or what they wear but i learned thats not true. anyone could be gay its just how they deal with it.....and i guess ask your bro questions if your interseted cos i dont know how they find out. lol

Answer 5

it has been proven that gays have a slightly different brain structure than straight people

it was in an article in discovery magazine i read if you want to look it up i forget which month it was though

also why would someone choose to be something they know they would be ridiculed for? Its the same thing as if you like a certain color you dont say "hey i think im gonna like the color blue" or "i think im gonna like the taste of spagetti scauce" you just like it. its not a concious choice that you make.

Answer 6

To say that a person has sex with a specific gender because of genetics is saying that a straight person is physically unable to have sex with someone of the same sex because he doesn't have the genetic capability. Just like a color blind person can't see some colors, and never will because of his genes, they can never have sex with another person for the same reason.

However we know this isn't true. There is nothing that will stop us from having gay sex if that's what we choose.

It is more likely that a gay person comes from a divorced home raised by the mom than to have anyone who is gay in their family tree.

Answer 7

I think your gay brother has a gay brother and he is way back in that closet trying to justify why he needs to stay there.

p.s.

I have NEVER hear gay person say "because of a mistake" That is something ignorant straights say.

Answer 8

You've answered your own question, in your 'additional information' God doesn't make mistakes, but sometimes God does things for reasons we don't understand.
People being born gay is one of those things...

Answer 9

I'm gay and there was certainly no choice involved. I don't think it was a "mistake" on God's part. though. My family was "normal" and I don't think that had anything to do with it.

Answer 10

I feel that we're born with our sexual orientation. You never made a choice to be attracted to women... do you really think someone would EVER choose to be a minority in society that is not openly accepted and often ridiculed? I think not.

Answer 11

Why dont you ask your brother this question? Surely he could tell you whether or not he was always gay and just pretending oterwise, or 'decided' (which i think unlikely) to be gay.