the relationship is about 12 yrs now. we have 1 son. yes were not yet married, because he is not yet divorced. Although he keep telling me i am his wife now, idon't feel it.He is working outside of the country for 5 yrs. He is giving us only 10% of his salary. And when he comes home here, he is telling me that he bought jewelry amounting to big money and i put in the bank deposit, and he usually bought all his friends a branded gift when he is coming home here and when he goes back to his work place. Yes i feel jealous coz it seems that he is forgetting me, I am just pissed off coz i can't see the real meaning of wife that he keep telling me. Now i am tired and fed up. Do you blame me if oneday i will leave him?
2007-07-12 22:45:11 · 13 answers · asked by pink_blossom 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He's a liar and a manipulator. He says you're his wife just to keep you around. You deserve a real commitment and it is out there. You need to cut him off and move on with your life. Sounds to me like he comes and goes as he pleases. Believe me, you are not his wife and this is not a marriage. You should dump him right now.
2007-07-12 22:49:48 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hun, if that is really the story then you should get your things together and walk out. The fact that he stayed with you for 12 yrs without making the divorce formal from his "ex" wife (which legally is still his wife!) should tell you something about this man.
He might be loving and caring, and in general sweep you off your feet, but mark my word; others can do that too! Dont settle for second best dear, it's not worth it.
2007-07-12 22:51:18 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds to me like he wants his cake and eat it too. He has you waiting in the wings, 90% of his income (while you support your son). Eventhough he says you are his wife, don't buy into his twisted line of thought. Commitment to you would be a ring on your finger and having him at home every night. You say you've been together 12 years and he is not yet divorced from his 1st wife? That's 12 years of adultery. I think you need to rethink your current situation and get out of there. You need to center your attention on what's best for you and your son. Do you want your son to grow up thinking that treating a woman this way is OK? They learn alot more from actions than words. Good luck in what ever you decide.
2007-07-12 23:48:21 · answer #3 · answered by Diana 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's obvious u don't feel like his wife, u r not.Tell the man he is a liar and get out of that relationship otherwise he is going 2 keep stringing u along until God know when.Why would he divorce his wife 2 marry u when he can have both of u hanging out 2 dry to satisfy his lousy ego?Are u sure he is not commuting between both u and his wife? Hell, I won't blame u if u left the cheating liar.(I am not a man-hater I just hate pple u cannot b fair and honest about their feelings.}
2007-07-12 22:55:08 · answer #4 · answered by Marcia T 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
is he living a double life? why isn't he divorced if you've been together 12 yrs? What the heck is the hold up? And I agree with the others...10% he'd better be making bank to be sending only 10% for you and your child to live on! You may have rights to palimony in addition to child support if you do leave him!
2007-07-12 22:54:05 · answer #5 · answered by CheezerCheezer 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am a wife and feel a equal parnter. We talk everything through and decided how to spend our money. Everything we have we share. We have a deep love for each other and it is truly felt. That is what a wife or a husband should be. So I don't blame you if you look for someone else who will respect you.
2007-07-12 22:55:29 · answer #6 · answered by sweeteternity825 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him to divorce her, now, and marry you, immediately. It has gone on too long, already. Sorry for you.
He should be giving you half his income at least.
He has gotten used to treating you like dirt, and you taking it.
You need to stand up for yourself. I do not know what country you are from, and your culture, it would affect my answer a lot.
In many countries, you might just go to his family, and force them to accept you, but in other places, that would be totally wrong, of course.
You sound like a good woman that has gotten a bad deal. Best of luck to you, pray on it, and you'll get a sign, I believe. I strongly believe this.
2007-07-12 22:52:32 · answer #7 · answered by A Military Veteran 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you must be insane !!! for taking that crap
from him all those 12 yrs !!..wake up!!!
and no...you are not his wife !!...regardless
of what him or the Pope say.
and no he is never getting divorced,..just pack up your things and leave him..that
will be the smartest thing you would do
in your 12 yr affair..(not "marriage"..because
you guys are not married and seems to me
never gonna get married...and not couple
because you guys do not live together...
so I qualify your relationship with you and him..as lovers...and yes..it is time to leave
your lover...wake up!!!
2007-07-12 22:59:15 · answer #8 · answered by Roberto D 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you are getting the short end of that stick. I would leave and file for child support. He will have to give you whatever the court determines is fair.
2007-07-12 22:50:17 · answer #9 · answered by PEGGY S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
please try to find out is he your real husband or dual? I suspect in that line specially those who work outside of the country. Because he gives you only 10% of his salary which can ba protected by legal in case if you launch case against him.. I am sorry if this brings destruction to your family. but live has to lived with meaning and worth....
2007-07-12 22:58:39 · answer #10 · answered by Prem 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋