Not attacking beliefs?

Question

Two people are talking, one of them says something that the other takes as an attack on their beliefs and/or values (not a personal attack) and becomes defensive and even hostile.

Why do people do this, why it that when someone asks a question or makes a statement that asks a question of someone’s belief system that they become hostile instead of cool calm and collected, and asking for clarification?

Why do people instantly believe they others are attacking their beliefs? Are these people so unsure of their own beliefs that they attack out of fear or is it something else?

Please explain what you mean.

Serious answers only please.

Thanks.

Answer 1

Wonderful, insightful question.

There is of course that part, as you say, played by the fact that deep inside, the person is aware that the belief is just a belief and not as sure as a fact.

Unlike knowledge which is objective, a belief is subjective. As a result, a long held belief becomes a part of our ego..... even to such an extent that various such beliefs put together, effectively place distinctive boundaries around ourselves and that is how we really define ourselves as distinct from all others. We identify ourselves as well as others through these separate sets of beliefs held strongly. A sense of insecurity thus obviously develops whenever any of these beliefs is put to question.

On the other hand, ordinary beliefs (held for the time being and not considered very important by us) do not get that special identifying status in our psyche... and therefore we are prepared to question them ourselves whenever our own logic sees the necessity.

Answer 2

The people that feel the need to act hostile are the ones who are self-conscious about their beliefs and fear they may be ridiculed for them. For instance an atheist may make fun of a Christian for believing that Jesus rose from the dead or a Christian may make fun of an Buddhist for believing in Nirvana. Many people also think they have to defend their beliefs against anyone questioning them. It is only the people who are not sure about their beliefs that act hostile. Those that are comfortable won't, but only a few people are truly comfortable with their beliefs to where they won't attack you.

Answer 3

I think that's because :
1. It depends on the way the other ask to them.
2. They used to deal with people that confonting their beliefs.
3. They feel unsure (make defense based on fear) or too sure (make defense based on arrogant) about their beliefs....
4. They are not mature enough, and not open minded.

Answer 4

"i know you believe you understand what you think i said, but i'm not at all sure that what you heard was what i meant." we think/believe, that "my" perception of everything, is the way things really are, because they're the way i perceive, or see them. otherwise, we have to admit we see things the "wrong" way. hard for our egos to do.

there's a wonderful picture/illusion of woman. two people can look at the same picture, from the same angle, and yet, one will see an old, ugly hag with a whitchs nose, or a beautiful, classy young lady. "find it at the following address:

http://www.coolopticalillusions.com/young_lady_old_lady.htm

the problem comes when one group of people teach that seeing the young lady is the "right" way and anything else is wrong. a closed mind is the most difficult thing to open.

everyone is on "their" path. if we pay attention to our own paths, without having to guide someone else, outside ourselves to the "right way for them to go", like we'd even know, then we will find the "right way" for ourselves. and don't worry, you have an eternity.

Answer 5

I think it's a maturity issue. Where they are at in their life and the education and experiences that person has had. It seems to take a long time until a person grows and understands that everything that's said or done isn't about them.

Answer 6

Some people feel that you denegrate and invalidate their value as a person when they misconstrue what someone says about the things they hold sacred.

Answer 7

i think its mainly that they are insecure about their own beliefs.....................i guess deep deep down they sorta agree with whats your saying but are in denial......or it could be that they dont understand what they really believe in or havnt really put any real thoughts into why they believe certain things.....so when you question, they become defensive because they themselves dont understand their beliefs..