She never wants to make love.
Could I justify an affair just for release.
Please ladies only answer I think I know mens reactions
2007-07-12 18:45:40 · 35 answers · asked by Tony 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
No. You could justify jacking off in the shower for a release, but not an affair. Have you tried to treat her like a woman that you desire and not just a wife who has a duty to have sex with you? If not, try that. If that doesn't work, this may sound crazy but TALK to her. Find out what the problem is and work on fixing it.
2007-07-12 18:54:43 · answer #1 · answered by ? 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Tony I am a guy, but you should know that I have been through this
before, and if your wife enjoys sex, and if you two have had a history of having mutually fulfilling sex in the past. even if it was somewhat infrequent, there is a problem. When you ask her, if she has been using more than one or two excuses why she doesn't want to make love to you, ( work, stress,money, sick, tired,menopause, two periods a month, etc). then she has probably not given you the real reason for not wanting to have sex.
She might not want to hurt your feelings, or something else has changed between the two of you that you have not disclosed.
It seems that women can do without, easier than men. But the truth is Tony, if she is using any of those excuses that I listed above, and if she was interested in keeping the relationship healthy, or in keeping you happy she would be offering to treat you to some personal attention, even if it did not include intercourse.
And she would not be making you ask for it, just to tell you no.
If this is happening Tony, the two of you need to see a counselor ASAP! And there is no way to ever justify an "affair" even if you find out that she has had one. If you love her, try and work it out with a counselor. If she won't go, then get a legal separation or a divorce before you start being with someone else, You will feel much better about yourself if you wait.
Why wait? Because until you both see a counselor you won't really know what is going on. You will feel terrible if she has been faithful to you, but because your feekings were hurt you cheated on her. And even if you find out she has formed other relationships... Two wrongs won't make it right. In the long run, you will feel better about yourself if you take the moral high ground
especially your self esteem, which is what has been damaged by her actions ( or lack of action(s) ).
2007-07-12 19:21:37 · answer #2 · answered by imdbassplayer 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can justify anything you want to do, just as all people of low standards do these days. The fact that you have the forethought to ask on this forum, shows that you are weak. I won't engage in whether you should or shouldn't because you knew that answer before you asked, I will however state that this says more about you than it does your wife! Respect the union enough to work within it for what I'm sure you once truly professed to have wanted. Oh and "just for release", is all to clear a glimpse into why your wife may not be interested, you don't seem to be attached emotional to the experience or your wife. Check yourself!
2007-07-12 19:40:29 · answer #3 · answered by duccees 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I can't believe I'm saying this... if you never make love with your wife, than there is probably something else wrong with the relationship. Intimacy is a large part of any relationship and not having that kind of connection with your wife (in my opinion) would in a sense justify an affair. I'm thinking you should talk to her first though, and find out why she is not that interested in sex. could be a reason for it that you never thought of, could be very well justified. If you really love you're wife, you'll discuss the problem with her first.
2007-07-12 18:50:42 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 1⤋
No to the affair, it will tear your marriage apart.
Talk to her, ask her what she wants and likes. Think of her, if you make her happy, she will keep coming back to you. Work it out. Offer to pleasure her, without wanting anything in return, this should solve it.
Let her make the first moves, and let her know she can turn you down without you getting mad at her. She may think that if she makes love with you, then you are going to want to do it every night, and she may not want to. So she just decided the safest way was to say no all the time. Give her some control, lattitude, as well as realese. Good luck!
2007-07-12 18:54:31 · answer #5 · answered by Ann B 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Why? What holds her back? Has she always been reluctant to have physical relations? Does she orgasm? Are you a patient and attentive lover?
Masturbation is a form of release that is much better for a marriage than cheating.
If your physical relationship with your wife is ruining your marriage, then counselling is a good option to try before cheating!
If, and only if, all other avenues have been tried and fail, then I would say yes, find a willing physical partner that wants no strings attached. But tell your wife this is what your decision is.
2007-07-12 18:53:13 · answer #6 · answered by dizzkat 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
An affair will not help your situation, it will only prolong the likelihood that she will ever want to make love again. If you are looking for "release", try your hand. Otherwise, seek counseling for your marriage. You are probably going to find that there is something in your wife's past that is dampening her desire to perform. By supporting your wife in working thru her problem with sexual relations, you will earn her respect and will be more likely to be shown her appreciation. Good luck!
2007-07-12 18:51:45 · answer #7 · answered by Tired_Of_Sarcasm 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
no not at all the only affair you should have is with your right hand man....you need to talk to your wife and let her know how much you miss being intimate with her tell her that you love her and you find no other woman more desirable than her and you just want to make love to her the way you use to! but to be honest there is probably an issue that is much bigger than sex talk to her and ask her whats going on with her emotionally.
2007-07-12 18:51:24 · answer #8 · answered by im whats up! 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Why dont you talk to her about why she doesnt want to? Its probably because you dont pay enough attention to her or you arent romantic with her.If the problem isnt solved dont cheat on her, be a man and tell her you want a divorce. An affair can never be justified.
2007-07-12 18:51:50 · answer #9 · answered by ♥Porsha♥ 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I think you know our reactions, also.
Are you crazy? Even though there are some weird women out there that would say it's okay-you do know the answer to your own question.
Why doesn't she want to make love? It may be because you're not sexually satisfying her. It sounds to me that you're more focusing on yourself right now so we know who you focus on when it comes to making love.
RELEASE? Give me a break. I'm a married woman, and when my man is at work and I wanna have sex I satisfy myself while I'm thinking of him. No, I don't run to the nearest man's station and find someone to help me release. Come on...I think that she needs to RELEASE you and let you go....
2007-07-12 18:54:08 · answer #10 · answered by Ericka 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋