Please give me honest answers - no name calling, please?

Question

I posted this question yesterday, but it got deleted before I could read it fully. So, I am asking you this question again.

I believe that because of group effort by gays and lesbians, these days homosexuality is slowly becoming more and more accepted in society. However there are, in reality, gays who are lonely & do not have anyone to stand up for them (living in a predominantly heterosexual society where only he/she is gay) - how will they handle such a situation?

reilly: so are you saying that I am still ignorant? If so, can you explain to me why I am ignorant - is there something I don't know about homosexuals? You can't just make a claim like that without backing it up with facts.

And besides, if I am really ignorant that how come my question got 3 stars? That is definitely more than other questions that I have seen on this board.

Answer 1

Ahhh ... they all come out of the woodwork.

I have many heterosexual friends, and many homosexual friends. However I will not keep company with people that are philosophical bigots. The whole "love the sinner, hate the sin" hyperbole.

How does anyone handle any situation? You deal with it and move on. Never live in one place that leaves you in fear. Thats not living ... its barely existing.

Answer 2

There are two ways to deal with this situation that both worked for me.

One is to move to any major city.Rural and small town life is great if you live in a rural area or small town that has accepting people living there and at least a few other gays and lesbians.But most rural and small towns aren't as such and so moving to the city, where there is all most certainly going to have a gay community, would be the best way to go.

And, the other thing to do would be to be honest with yourself and with others.If you feel you can't do that where you are then it's time to move elsewhere.Acceptance is only something people are willing to give to gays usually when there are enough people within a community who are role models that can show why there is no reason to not accept who people are.One person, in the case of someone who is gay in a small homophobic town, usually won't be able to change any minds.But, then, you never know.But I still think the city is the best place to start out when coming out.

Answer 3

The best way to resolve homophobia in a socially conservative town or family is to be out to those around you. It's a lot easier to judge or dislike a Hollywood stereotype than a close friend or family member that is nothing like the villain described by your pastor or neighbors. Of course, that's easier said than done, since there are considerable risks and a likely backlash by those more interested in appearances than individuals.

Fortunately, kids growing up today have access to a lot of information and support that was previously censored, so hopefully a lot fewer are living in loneliness and depression because they think they're the only ones going through what they are. At least they know that if it becomes unbearable where they're currently living, there are other options than a lifetime trapped in an unfulfilling marriage, like moving to an area where they can live openly and honestly with their chosen life partner.

Answer 4

I'm not quite sure who is going to handle what situation. I guess for those who live in rural communities where the number of gay people is very limited they will go on doing what they did before. There are loads of Gay's who live in predominantly heterosexual communities that are perfectly happy about their situation. Do you think for one moment that all the gays are going to suddenly run out on the street and shout out if the gay bit becomes more acceptable. I don't think so....You make it sound like all these poor lonely gays are sitting at home behind closed curtains quivering. I really don't think for most it's like that at all. Remember a lot of gay people grew up when being gay was not popular at all and people had to hide their sexuality for fear of reprisals, arrest and even murder. I think in some countries we have come a long way, but don't forget those who live in countries where you could get executed for being gay...like Jamaica for instance....take it off your list of places to travel too if you want to come back alive....

Answer 5

First of all, being gay or lesbian in a society, which is less than accepting is extremely difficult. It isn't easy, and takes a lot of self love. Something, which is hard to come by when what we are expected to be is the exact opposite of what we are. However, none of us are truly alone. Even if we think that we are, we aren't. There are others, out there. The trick, is finding them, and the resources needed to make it through. There are support groups in most cities or towns, and those of us who feel alone have to dig deep to seek them out. Again, it may seem like it, but we are seldom alone, but you are right a lot of us are lonely, and do not have anyone to fight for us. Let's face it, it's a cold and lonely world, and homophobia doesn't make it any easier.

Answer 6

I think I answered your question yesterday...there are those on this site who seem to delight in having questions deleted...
In answer to your question..what will they do? I suppose that they will do what we all did when we came out/came to terms with the fact that we were glbt..we just dealt with it. Not to make light of it because it is a terrifying emotional rollercoaster..but at the end of the ride is truly a kind of sanctuary you reach ..where you truly like yourself for who and what you are. They will handle it because they have to. The alternative is worse. I hope that they can a least see the light at the end of the tunnel now that the word gay or homosexual can appear in print and they must know that they are not truly alone. There are millions like them. I hope they have comfort in that.

Answer 7

If only he or she is gay, then there wouldn't really be any point in being out, would there? It's really the same situation that many of us were raised in. I lived my early life in a midwestern community of 500, and if there were any other gays, they were afraid to be open about it. Fortunately, I had one very close straight friend and that relationship fulfilled my need to be close to another male through all my growing up years and into my twenties. That relationship only ended when he married.
That's my guess as to how most people in such a society would handle it. They'd find straight friends who are affectionate people not paranoid about bonding with their close friends of the same sex.

Answer 8

If i was in such a position then I would be confident and show others that I was perfectly content with myself and don't care what they think. With this confidence comes respect and people will like you more every day for it. Otherwise, id say that they should have a group that advocates such rights locally.

Answer 9

Gay people just want you to accept everything they tell you without question. After all, you're not gay, so what right to you have making any judgment, decision, or thought on them?

Anyone who questions what a gay person says, anyone who challenges them, anyone who can prove them wrong, is 1) ignorant, 2) a religious zealot, 3)homophobe, 4) bigot etc.....

Answer 10

I am heterosexual, but I think that if they could find another out of the closet "gay" or "lesbian" friend could help them, or maybe just observe how they are accepted in the community they live in...