i am in love with my boyfriend's best friend. how do i tell him?

Question

This guy and I have been going out for like 2 years but when i met his best friend we were crazy about each other. how do i tell my b/f that i don't like him anymore and still be able to go out with his friend? P.S. his friend is single.

Answer 1

this is really difficult because you dont want to try and hurt anyone. the best way to go is to be honest. but let your bf know that you still care about him and reassure him that nothing was his fault. love is not always easy, and it will show itself in mysterious ways. also, you should talk to his friend about it too. maybe he needs to talk to your bf to let him know how he feels too, it wouldnt be good if he lost his friendship over a situation like this.

just be honest with your bf, talk to his friend about it, and have his friend talk to him. i know it will be hard, and there will be hard feelings involved, but show compassion and be honest. in the long run, he will be thankful for that instead of sneaking around and being shady.

good luck, i hope everything goes ok!

Answer 2

That's a really bad idea on so many levels:
1) Drama.
2) You and your bf will be done FOREVER!
3) You're breaking up their band Yoko!
4) It could turn out to be a meaningless fling and you just wasted 2 years.
5) If you break up with his best friend you will have TWO really tight friends that hate YOU!
6) I was just in the situation you were in. Go figure.

But if you DON'T care about my warning up there I'l give you advice. Tell your boyfriend straight to his face, "Look I'm sorry this happened but I have feelings for your friend. I didn't mean for this to happen but it did. I really like him and I can't be with you if this is how I feel. I'm sorry."
That would also make a pretty sweet breakup note. Well Yoko, whatever happens, enjoy!

Answer 3

Well first, make a pro/con list about your boyfriend and one about his BFF. If his best friend still comes out on top then I would recommend telling your boy friend soon after you make the list. If you wait longer, it might become obvious to him and that would cause even more drama. When you tell him break it down to him gently and make sure you tell him about all the good times you had with him. You don't want him to think that dating him was just a way to get to his best friend! Tell him about how much time you spent with him before you starting liking his best friend. His feelings are going to be hurt but make it as nice as you can. Imagine how you would feel if this happened to you. Just say what you think you would want to hear if the tables were turned.


Hope this helped!!

Answer 4

You first get out of one relationship before getting into another. Otherwise, you will look like a terrible person in front of the other guy. Not to mention, it is not very fair to your current boyfriend. Once you are out of it, you approach the friend. Tell him why you left his friend. Tell him you knew it wasn't fair to your boyfriend when you actually had feelings for him, instead. And see where it goes. Chances are, you could lose them both. But better to live the truth and accept the consequences than to live a lie and hurt someone else in the process.

Answer 5

Your boyfriend's friend is not much of a friend to him. You are not a decent person in the fact that you would even consider this. You will not end up with the friend in the long run. Your ex boyfriend he will be when and if you tell him very pissed. It is easy to do the wrong thing. Takes courage to do the right thing. If you are no longer interested in your current boyfriend break it off. leave the friend alone!!!

Answer 6

if you are sure it's over then just be honest. but don't be too quick to throw 2 years of your life with this guy away. What if you break it off and the passion dies out with the new guy in a month? Plus this can lead to bad feelings that last a long time. It can be hard to resist that feeling when it's intense and new, but the risk you take is pretty serious.

Answer 7

I don't know I think you got yourself in a mess. If you break up with your boyfriend and go with his best friend, then you should know that those guys will not like/hate each other. If you are willing to sacrifice their friendship over your relationship with your boyfriend then you probably are not a good girlfriend. No offense but that what is looks like. Anyways if your boyfriend is good to you and if he loves you then why would you do that? Good luck and I hope everything works out...

Answer 8

girl...just shut up...okay here's what you do, it might not be easy at all but deal with it okay? be tough for the man that you want and i think you should follow what i say.
your boyfriend is only liking you more right? well then you're breaking his heart the longer you stay with him. if you break up with him sooner then he won't get as deep into you as if you break up with him LATER when he might LOVE you! once you stop liking him, once the magic is done and you don't feel anything or have any fun in the relation ship - QUITE IT! it's only wasting your life, energy, and time. you like the best friend - the best friend likes you. that's all there is to it and if boyfriend can't handle it right away give him time even though he'll be really harsh probably. wait a while before you hook up with best friend though, give boyfriend some time to cope and time to understand who you really like. :)

Answer 9

You have to make sure you are not giving up someone amazing for a five second relationship. Get to know the guy on a personal level. Find out about his past, what he does that you may not be able to live with, etc. Don't jump into this too quickly.

Answer 10

You cant. You are going to destroy a good friendship that has probably lasted for years. And for what? Likely a year or two tops, then you will "fall in love" with someone else.

I suggest you dont go down this road. No matter what, there will be tons of drama, and you will likely destroy a friendship, or they will just both dump you, and yo wont have either.