mention this fact to my mother for fear of her words of discouragement. Long story short, I ended up telling her today and she was (how I imagined) very negative about it. I value my mother's opinion a lot, most would say too much.. and I don't know how to acknowledge her opinion without actually doing what she says. I really just want to know how get over feeling bad because I don't make every choice she wants me to make. I feel like I'm a bad person if I don't do what she wants... any helpful advice out there...?
2007-07-12 18:02:10 · 11 answers · asked by superrr_star88 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I think it depends on your and your fiancee's maturity and financial situation. If you are both settled and emotionally ready for marriage, then your mother's opinion is kind of moot.
However, if you are neither of the above, then she is voicing her displeasure because she cares about you and doesn't want to see you hurt in the long run.
Yet, you need to recognize that you cannot live your life to make your mother happy. There are some people who will never be happy (let's hope your mom isn't one of them).
While it's nice to get your parents' approval, know that it shouldn't be your life's goal. Go on with your own life. Do what makes you happy. After all, someday your parents will be gone and you don't want to end up bitter and angry because you've lived your life for them and not for yourself.
I wish you much luck with your mom and your marriage.
2007-07-12 18:10:03 · answer #1 · answered by JC 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The saying goes what feels so right can be so wrong.
Ur mother is looking out for u and doesn't want u to make any mistakes, getting married is a big step.
If u truely in your heart feel that this is the man for u go for it, just try not to have a falling out with your mother over it, because men come and go but family is there for life u can't shake that.
2007-07-12 18:26:45 · answer #2 · answered by pimpjester2002 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's time to stop letting how your mother feels run your life. If you don't cut the apron strings now, she is going to interfere with your marriage which is going to cause a lot of problems. You can love your mother but you don't owe her anything. I would tell her you love her, you know she doesn't approve, but you have to be an adult and make a good future and life for yourself. Sounds like she won't approve of anyone who you choose to marry or any path you feel will make YOU happy. It's not your job to make her happy. It's HER job. If you don't start living the life you want to, you are going to grow into a very depressed and unhappy person. She won't like it but eventually I'm sure she will get over it.
2007-07-12 18:11:01 · answer #3 · answered by amyaz_98 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you love him? If you say yes, then Mom's opinion really doesn't count here. You are setting out to make your very own household here. You can't let your mother run that household, or you and your husband will both be miserable there. Don't feel bad if you and your mom disagree. That happens all the time, you are two different people. Live your life, love your man. If Mom can't accept that, it's her problem, not yours.
2007-07-12 18:08:25 · answer #4 · answered by rohak1212 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
no person is purely too youthful to renowned what love is. regardless of the undeniable fact that - and speaking from a physiological perspective, not an opinion - in case you're a young person, your strategies remains arising, and you rather can't make an identical possibilities which you will once you're sixteen, nineteen, twenty-3, in spite of. I agree which comprise your loved ones in which you ought to drop your boyfriend. And it rather is not purely the only mistake you have made. This boy seems effective, yet he should not be taking you out eating (how previous is he?), and a pair of issues you have pronounced have indicated he may well be a controlling form of guy. additionally, in case you bypass "each and every of ways" before you're legal, it constitutes statutory rape in spite of in spite of if or not the intercourse became consensual. At 13, your mom and your finished family members are greater important than your so-called boyfriend, who curiously pushes you to make undesirable possibilities. think of rationally, please.
2016-12-14 07:21:14 · answer #5 · answered by jaffe 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I don't know your Mom. She could be a wonderful inciteful lady who just doesn't want to see you throw your life away and HAS lived longer than you, has seen more of life and knows the warning signs. ON THE OTHER HAND, she could be a micro-control freak b*tch who can't let go of ANYONE in her life. If you feel in your heart of hearts that this guy is THE one, YOU have to marry him and live with him, NOT your Mom. She won't be the first parent who has thought that NO one was good enough for her little boy or girl. I have three married children and believe me, no parent EVER thought that ANYONE was good enough for their baby. (My sons in law have turned out to be wonderful men and my daughters are VERY happy and stable.)
2007-07-12 18:17:51 · answer #6 · answered by ckswife 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Think about it this way. You are her daughter, but not her puppet. You have to make choices that are right for you, and that doesn't make you a bad person! Think about how miserable you would be if you did everything she asked you to. And I bet she would be miserable seeing you suffer. So you can respect your mother's opinion, and even if it's not right for you, everybody is better off when you make the right decision for yourself!
2007-07-12 18:09:34 · answer #7 · answered by The Oneder 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your mom may not be very supportive of your decision right now but she will be when she comes around. Go ahead and marry your bf because if you love eachother enough for marriage than nothing will stop you. If it is something you guys trully want your mom will come around.
2007-07-12 18:07:18 · answer #8 · answered by jimmysgrl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well if you trully love this guy then i say marry him because i think your mom has gotten use to controling you and i don't think she wants to give that up quite yet.
2007-07-12 18:06:26 · answer #9 · answered by leona 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well listen if there is anything in there seemingly true or relevant...and think it over i mean she is your mother. and if there is no terrible conclusion you can come from that than all you can do is help her understand how you feel and try to get her support
2007-07-12 18:07:56 · answer #10 · answered by wendygurl87 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋