Why is our self-worth so closely tied to our appearance?

Question

Particularly women.

Answer 1

I think it's because we live in a very visual society. We're able to watch other people's lives through television, and we have the technology to make basically everyone in the media look good. We don't live in a world where we only see our families and neighbors on a regular basis - we see the entire world, and we have the ability to make the entire world look good through certain mediums (television, magazines, etc.)

So when we're bombarded with images of people with seemingly unflawed features, we feel separated from the rest of the world and substandard.

Answer 2

I echo the sentiment about our increasingly visual society.

There used to be a time when people were valued more on the content of their character than anything superficial. Then came the 20th Century. Suddenly print media, movies and later TV began bombarding us with images, and character fell to the wayside.

It's not just self-worth, it's the external view of worth as well. Visually attractive people meet with more favor than unattractive people. Interestingly, as appearance becomes more important, the people who stand to gain the most are attractive WOMEN, yet these women are often internally self-loathing because of their less-than-perfect self-image.

As for your comment that the appearance/self-worth relationship affects particularly women; tell that to the 24 year-old guy with thinning hair.

EDIT: George W. Bush - this is the first time I've ever agreed with you. You should have forsaken your career in politics and gone into relationship counselling, like Dr. Phil.

Answer 3

Yeah, I think most got this one right. I've seen it first hand. I used to be a hot, skinny girl with long, flowing hair. After I had a baby, I became a fat girl with pretty eyes, and that was all! People used to smile at me when I passed them walking in the street or the mall- wherever. Now people avoid eye contact with me when they can. I'm still the bubbly, intelligent, fun person I always was, but now I'm treated like an outcast.

I work in a hospital and see all kinds of medical equipment, or drug salesmen. I find that the ones that are the most attractive fly up the cooperate ladder MUCH faster than the ones that have a mole on their face, or a bad haircut. Even when a salesman that has 20+ yrs experience brings his "new guy" in to my lab to show him how things are done, the new guy is always the guy that people ask questions to. He doesn't know jack about the product, as he was clearly introduced as "the new guy", but our employees will always ask him something.

Just from observation, I believe we are all taught that the nicer looking person will move ahead faster. When people are killed in society and you see their face on the news, I've noticed that the prettier girls that were killed, or the handsome, strong looking men always get more sympathy.

I can't remember her name, but the girl that was pregnant a few years back who was killed by her cheating husband who had dyed his hair blonde and skipped outta the country- her face was all over People magazine, etc etc. I live in MO, now, and have seen many pregnant girls that have been killed by jealous neighbors and relatives- their bodies not found for weeks- never make it to the big country-wide news because they LOOK like they are from Missouri or Arkansas. They aren't attractive on the outside. Their stories are just as intriguing, but nobody seems to care. So even in death, our self-worth is greatly tied to our appearnace. It's really sad. :(

Answer 4

I don't know for sure, will have to mull over your question a bit more.
Anyway, it may have a little to do with feel good on the outside and therefore feel good on the inside too?
It seems that in women, brains, empathy, courage and just being a nice person is completely disregarded by a fair few men. But that raises the question, why do we try to impress the opposite sex and judge our self worth on what they say?
It should be that we are the best we can be and that should be enough.
Men also do alot to boost their appearance to be attractive towards the opposite sex, would that also be because perhaps women are focusing too much on appearance nowadays with men?
Ahh too many questions :(

Answer 5

Even though our culture currently is obsessed with images and messages of female worth equaling superficial appearances, from my perspective true self worth in real life runs much deeper and has to do with what we choose to value most in ourselves, and what we treasure and value most about the world. Women and people of all kinds of appearances can have an inherent sense of self worth that is resilient and vital regardless of what is on the surface. It may wax and wane with our fears and experiences yet is essentially strong, soulful, and there when we need it. If we tend our own creative fires and care for ourselves.
Those whose confidence and core identity come only or mostly from meeting culturally defined beauty standards actually have a pretty flimsy self worth when it comes right down to it, when they are challenged into something broader and more substanitive, have you noticed this? No matter what you look like, I observe that genuine self worth is something much deeper. Always has been and will be.

Answer 6

My suggestion is because our appearance is the first thing another sees when given an opportunity to interact with us. Many people do not make instant judgments, and are interested in more than appearance. However, good hygiene is almost invariably necessary, including good grooming. Clothes, and style is secondary. If we perceive acceptance by others, we maintain our established degree of self worth. Rejection is not necessarily a reason for a decrease in our self perception of our self worth. It depends on how we perceive the person rejecting us. Our opinion is important as well.

Answer 7

Your actual presence is long gone in the blink of an eye fixed. whether I have been to easily see you rather of merely your representations in words and pictures that certainty passes as quickly because of the fact the sweep of the 2nd hand. Age has allowed me to look deeper than the exterior of issues. i do no longer comprehend if this is the slow dawning of a few form of awareness or whether it is merely that the international is now no longer surprising and new. while i glance at human beings I easily have prevalent for some years, or myself in the reflect, I see many photographs at as quickly as in a sort of layered or montage result - like gazing the flame on a candle. i'm rather particular it is extra a psychological element and not that i desire a clean prescription for glasses. i think of this is a lot sharper imaginative and prescient than I had in my infants; the clear out of time and journey and water below the bridge. I easily have never met you yet I see you, the essence at the back of the climate of something i ought to never comprehend that i'm able to work together with, and that i admire what I see. you are able to call it what you like although this is the part of you I the two easily see and this is the section i will take with me as quickly as I hit the button, walk off, and the two this question and answer are long forgotten. i think of this is the section that concerns. It additionally facilitates that i'm loopy yet you do what you are able to with what to procure. (((Jack B.)))

Answer 8

This reminds me of the saying "Don't judge a book by its cover." But these days we tend to be judged by what we wear. If we look good we feel good. If we look bad we feel bad. It really sucks the world is like this but, looking good = feeling good, and looking bad = feeling bad, applies to me too. I love looking good i have way more confidence when I dress nice.
I completely agree with royrox. Everything you said is so true. When is the last time you saw a not-so-greatlooking murdered or kidnapped person. They should be just as important as pretty people but society has made them less important. Its sad and disgusting.

Answer 9

When we were evolving from the apes, the ability to hunt determined a person´s success. It was a difficult time for women, because they were not as strong as men... their only advantage on those times, was the strongest sex drive from men... by making a man attracted to them, women were able to survive by sharing the bounty from hunting...

Nowadays none of that is necessary any more, women can survive without attracting a men... but hundreds of thousands of years of evolution are difficult to erase...

Answer 10

Unfortunately, most women are judged by their appearance. Most men select the best-looking women to pursue, and go for it, regardless of her character.

So, the woman who wants to have a choice thinks how she looks is going to attract the right man.