Had relations w/ a recent divorecee.?

Question

Just hooked up with arecently DIVORCED guy.?
He is a bit older.37 and Im 23. He had like ed, and said to my friend it probably should not have happend. The hook up that is. I dont get it . He said he was attracted to me. I wonder why he said that. He's already asking other girls out. Im kind of mad..

Answer 1

Two things go against this proposition: age and temperament.
He is not at all sincere to you. He is playing with your age and situation. You behave differently and he too will change the stance. You have many opportunities in front of you. Who will not say he is attracted to you? Sincerity requires something more than that.

Answer 2

Hey Nat!

Well here's a life lesson for you. A tough one. I'm sorry you're having to experience this. I don't really sugar coat things, so here goes...

Divorce leaves people a shattered mess (and often they don't even realize it themselves). No matter who's fault the divorce may be, both parties feel shattered and divided, confused, worth less, defeated etc etc....and they look for ways (even unconciously) to ease the pain of the rejection. Divorce always = rejection in some form.

They say it takes AT LEAST one year to recover for every 5 years you're married. This guy is using women and has used you to 'feel like a man again'. He feels worthless and dating and being attractive to multiple women helps with the pain.

Don't be angry with him (what he's doing is not good, but it's understandable and predictable), be angry with you.

THEN FORGIVE YOURSELF and him and learn the hard lesson in this. Anytime someone tells you they are divorced, you need to find out for how long... and then you need to spend time getting to know this person to see if they are truly free from the baggage of divorce - most often they won't be. Otherwise they'll be creating new baggage for you! Now here you are regretful, feeling used, and disposed of and you had the say so. You could of said NO.

These are tough words, but necessary.

Take care of you and don't trust anyone to guard your emotions better than you can yourself.

Shake it off, don't date divorced people who haven't had ample time and counseling to heal and make sure your worth isn't rooted in how someone else feels about you.

Good luck!

Spherical

Answer 3

Since he is recently divorced he doesn't know what he wants is probably very confused about his life. He is probably trying to figure out where to go from this point. You were just a comfort at the time of need and now he is moving on. Not trying to be harsh, but you need to understand these kinds of situations in order not to let yourself get hurt. It is ok, to be a friend but before jumping into a relationship with someone in this situation be sure how he feels.

Answer 4

Well, sounds like due to his recent divorce he is just getting back in the game and wants to test the waters, and I would think by his actions thus far, he is not interested in a relationship. He needs a cooling off period, the sleeping around and no "real" relationship will get old, but not for now, he is on the prowl. Don't get mad just move on, because he already has.

Answer 5

Sweetie, he's RECENTLY divorced. He has much to prove to himself. Don't even talk to a divorced guy unless it's been at the very least a year since his divorce -- It's only about sex before that.

You're not stupid or bad or anything like that. Nothing wrong with you at all. He's just got a lot of things to figure out. Move on -- you'll find a better guy!

Answer 6

You said it yourself he is recently divorced. would you want to jump into a new long term relationship. The man obviously wants to have fun and you not being very smart about your choices now people in the office will for ever talk about your hook up especially because you went and with out getting to know what he wanted ,you simply opened your legs to this man who is now going to treat you like a crap. and talk about you to people in the office so now you will be known as one of his whores. Be smart don't go doing this every time you meet a new guy. Get to know a man first then find out what his intentions are then go from there make a educated choice not a hormonal one. honestly you deserve this for not being careful with your body. Girls these day give up the goods with out any kind of commitment and continue to spread serious STD's around. I hope you were at least smart enough to use a condom. Girls like you make is so easy for these men to go and have all the fun while now your sitting there pouting about what happened feeling like crap. Frankly I don't feel sorry for you.

Answer 7

You should be mad. He is looking for some one night stands and he will say anything to get sex from a women. Maybe he feels he lost a lot of free time while he was married. Forget him and learn a lesson from it. If you find someone that was married take your time and make sure all there hang-ups exes baggage and skeletons are gone first.
Carl

Answer 8

He's recently divorced. He JUST got out of being married or tied down. Do you think he would be ready for another relationship? Sorry for you to get the end of the stick on this but if you like him ..stick around .. or just move on.

Answer 9

You let yourself be used for sex by a horny guy who isn't getting it at home any more and you wonder what is wrong? He's done with you, nothing is wrong. Now hopefully you used protection, but just in case you might want to get tested.

Be smarter next time.

Answer 10

there's a reason why he's divorced. he probably cheated on his wife. i'm sure he is attracted to you but does not want a relationship. try to not let it get to you. it's not your fault. he's just a pig! don't waste your time or energy being mad. go out and have a good time.