How would you move past the hurt????.....?

Question

First to get a Background of my story go to my other qustions!!.
... Now How do i move on ( Single and lonely).. I have a really BIG trust issue right now i cant see my self ever trusting another person again....... To be honest i just want to take care of my son.. and when i am not doing that i just want to smoke weed every day to numb the pain.. let go of the hurt .. and just sit there. lmao ... i know it sounds bad , but dont judge.. i am out of ideas and right now i am out of feelings .. Advice needed.. comments required ... good and Bad... right about now theres nuthing you could say that could make me feel any worst!

Your friend and Mine -- Skip =P

Answer 1

Man oh man, that's so aweful of your best friend to do that, and your wife as well, you have every right to be hurting and pissed and i know your heart hurts so bad because of this, but over time it will heal...how to move on?..that's a hard one, it's easy for one to say just go out and date and forget it, but that is impossible to forget something like that, you have been betrayed, by the two most important people in your life,,,,it will probably always be hard to trust again, my ex cheated and now my hubby pays the price for it, it sucks, my husband is so wonderful and has never done anything to hurt me but because of my ex being such an ***, i just can't trust him 100%, as hard as i try it is hard to trust again after being betrayed...but you need to focus on you and your son for now, you need time to grieve, there is nothing wrong with crying and go boxing or jogging or something, to get the anger out, weed will only mask the promblem for awhile, then when it wears off you are still stuck with the same promblem, so i wouldn't suggest you doing that, it'll only cause more promblems in the long run...time heals all things, i mean it, you need your time to cool off, focus on doing things with your son to take your mind off of it for awhile, start taking him to church, let me tell you, church is a miracle drug, was for me, i've gotten over so much just by going and being open minded and listening and reading the bible....if you have one please read the verses below, look them up....you will get through this....God bless

Answer 2

You have to let go. Let go of the hurt, and actually say that is what you are doing. The more you dwell on it, the bigger it will grow. I know it's easy to say that, but I've been there, recently. You have to think about your son and what is best for him. Smoking pot does him no good, and he should be your main focus at this point.

You also have to remember that not everyone will do you the same way. People are different, relationships are different. There is better out there. And I know we've all heard this before, but everything happens for a reason. It's a crappy saying, but it is so true. This may have happened to you so you could better yourself, find a better person..

Getting out of the house and being active in whatever you choose to do helps. It really does. Interacting with other people besides your son will help as well... kids can only do so much. Plus, they don't understand... and shouldn't see you like you are. They don't deserve it.

It gets better, I promise. You just have to take action to get there. Nothing good will come from sitting at home smoking pot.

Best of luck to you!!

Answer 3

The answer to your problem is not to just sit around and get high. Think about it, if your son was going thur this situation is this the advice you would give him. Whenever I have a problem I always ask myself what is it that I would tell my child if she were going thur the same situation. I dont have the answer to your problem but you can keep in mine certain things. Your so call best friend would love nonething more than to see you defeated and hooked on drugs unable to care for your child. Dont give them (ex wife) the satisfaction. Accept the realization that life is hard and even if you had a woman life would continue to be hard. Take one day at a time and appreciate the good things that are going on in your life, like having a job, the ability to walk, talk, see and smell are all awesome things that many take for granted. Take time to learn how to love you.

Answer 4

Discover yourself! You are an interesting person in your own right. Why not take a little time for a class at the community college? Something fun and useful, like Spanish or American sign language....painting...culinary arts...anything that sparks your interest.

How about a book club? Ok, not very 'exciting' but it will busy your mind taking the focus off of those times you were used to being with him or thinking or doing things for him.

Joining a gym? Not so much for getting in shape, nice benefit though. Just utilize those hours exploring the gym...even if to go for just the spa! Getting those natural endorphine levels up can be your focus there. Excercise has that effect.

The real idea here is to get a new routine, a new schedule, fill your hours that you used to waste; with contructive, good habits. Surround yourself with people who are not on drugs, who are not abusive and seriously- toss the rest.If your scope of people dwindle to just your child...so be it! Better to have one positive person to share your positive life with, than a dozen people who drag you down and make you feel like crap.

Answer 5

SOOOO sorry,I know a broken heart won' t kill you but you wish it would.You have the double whammy with a little one to answer to .No judgement just concern for you skip the pot.Studies with teens on steady show use, can stop their emotional growth.You Have a son to look up to u for guidence. u don' want to be insulated from from him in any way.You set the tone so nows the getting to it.Depression is as inevitable as the sun rise. Get treatment so the depression isn't there for life . With loss of a relationship it as a death has occured .The pain is unbearable , think what ur little guy is going through.His actual world has broken ,and he has no reason why.Children see their lives from a universe perspective. They think their responisible for all things that happen.He could blame himself for ur pain and the loss.Reassure him it's not his fault in any ,and don't critize ex no matter how deserved.Focus on him that will motivate,try not to dwell on the what if's they hurt more,don't look to ex's new one and compare.Separation is not always a defect in us, but our partners.If ur in total love and except and forgive ,and don't realise. It's NOT A MISTAKE ,JUST LACK OF LOVE on their part .People will try to JUSTIFY but it's their inability to deeply love YOU that has led to the break down.Love takes care of the other first ,rather than self.No kidding! try prayer it works God listens.Rember it will heal just like a deep wound with time.Just be the worlds best Dad and, u will have tons of love then can start a new life.You and he will always have a relationship.It's not ur end Just a new start u don't know about.Agape love to u and ur son may The Almighty God bring u peace .

Answer 6

You should spend more time hanging out with friends or taking your son to do fun stuff outside the house. You sound depressed. No woman is worth suffering over. Think about it...you don't really want to be with someone that could hurt you that way do you? You deserve better. Focus on that little boy and get better soon.

Answer 7

Don't smoke weed, drink, or do any drugs to numb the pain, it only makes things worse, trust me. Just make your son your number one priority right now, he needs you more than anyone in this world and that in itself should make you feel better. Take pride in your son and if nothing else makes you happy listen to his laugh, the joy in his voice as he plays and watch his eyes light up as he discovers new things this world has to offer. Find happiness in the love of your son and just know that you don't need anyone else. Good luck sweetie.

Answer 8

God Bless You. No one understands unless they have been betrayed. I have and I feel so much for you.
Please take care of yourself. Find things that make you happy and make you feel good about yourself. Don't indulge in the mind numbing every day. That is only a crutch that keeps you from moving on.
Take care of yourself and that son of yours. You can't do that properly if you are getting high all the time.
People who we love are weak and selfish sometimes and don't deserve the devotion we give them. Don't punish yourself for their failures. I am so sorry.

Answer 9

Stop smoking the weed. Immerse yourself in making your child happy, have fun with him/her. try to make somebody else happy by doing some good deeds, accept the pain, cry, wallow in self pity for a day or 2 then think ahead to that time when it wont hurt anymore, because i guarantee, it will stop hurting. call up friends, spend time with family, have a party with your girlfriends/boyfriends. go out, and do fun stuff, tell urelf that you will not be defeated by it.

Answer 10

Sounds like you need to focus your energies on other things than feeling sorry for yourself and drowning your sorrow in weed, pot, drinking, etc. You mentioned that you have a son, he lives with you, right? Besides spending quality time with your son, spend quality time with YOURSELF. Get into a hobby, something you like to do, take a long drive and/or trip somewhere, reach out to your family and nearby friends - keep your mind and yourself busy and don't dwell on what's wrong or missing in your life - count your blessing and the good things you have going on in your alive like first and foremost, you are alive - think positive!