my boyfriend and i are getting married next summer. we are both 22 and while our friends still live with their parents and have no bills, we have an apartment and everybill you can imagine. here comes the problem. every time our friends invite us out, we kindly say thanks, but no thanks because we would rather save our money for a house, as we are doing, instead of dropping 50/60 bucks on a night of cocktails. so our friends started treating us to drinks when we go out because they want us to go out with them. i dont like this because i feel like i am a charity case. cant they understand that they have a larger disposbale income than we do at the moment? why are they paying for us all the time? its not just drinks, its now dinner and movie/show tickets and everytime they say, you'll pay next time, but they never let us. whats the right course of action here?
2007-07-12 13:52:40 · 5 answers · asked by bar22bie 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Conduct get togethers at your house. If you like your friend's you'll invite them over for a get together...on occasion. Don't make it a habit. If they want to contribute, tell them to bring their own liquor. You provide food. There's lots out there you can make without spending a fortune. Have them bring a dish. Its company and ambiance.
In the meantime, you and hubby sit down and agree to sock a small amount of cash away. Then when ready, do the club/restaurant thing. Toss out alittle of the ewxtra cash to be magnamonious. Then go back to the budget. It'll work if your friend's are truly your friends. If not...you didn't need friend's like those anyway.
2007-07-12 14:00:03 · answer #1 · answered by Quasimodo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well first thing is what the heck are you doing getting married? Wait a few more years and then if you happen to still be together then think about getting married, 22 is way too young and your rushing things quite a bit too fast.
As far as your problem with your friends, grab the check before they do, and pay it. Or quite simply only go out when you can afford to, or even possibly invite them over get out the grill and BBQ, and a case or two of beer and maybe even rent some movies.. The reason they do it is they don't seem to care about the money and like to have you around. But realize that not every night has to be out at some establishment that is going to charge you $20 a plate, sometimes just having the gang over at the house can achieve the same job.
2007-07-12 14:09:47 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dear bar22bie:
It sounds to me that you both have been very honest with your friends in explaining your common goal together. So with that in view I would have to say, unless of course, it is against your fabric to go out on occasion but on your terms that is affordable and not break the bank. For example a tea, coffee or salad get together. I can't help but think that the both of you are very well liked and that your friends admire you both for the commitment you made. This may be their way to not only acknowledge that but in a strange way contribute to your goal as well.
Enjoy,
2007-07-12 14:30:45 · answer #3 · answered by Fresh choice 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you want to return the favor, you can host a picnic in the neighborhood park. You buy the hotdogs and hamburgers and do it yourself. Make it a whole day or 1/2 day affair with games for people of your age group. Announce that this is your way of thanking your friends for the treats and explain that this is all you can do for them back.
2007-07-12 14:02:16 · answer #4 · answered by Sir Richard 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would have them over to your apartment instead of going out. It is obviously cheaper to buy a 30-pack and a bottle of wine than to go out.
2007-07-12 13:56:30 · answer #5 · answered by Dirty 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋