should i go home?

Question

im a army wife stuck in california ive been here sence january and im in hell. im soooo home sick i dont know what to do i have no freinds no job and nuthing to do my husband always goes to his freinds house and he has a life here. i feel more and more every day that i would be happyer at home i could work i would be around family i wouldent feel so left out all the time im very depressed about this life i really need someone other than my husband or family members for advice im thousands of miles away from home im sick of being left at home alone wiith just me and my daughter my husband has no idea how i feel this is his job not mine he has freinds i dont what should i do should i suck it up and hang in here or should i find a oneway ticket home??? i love him but im lonely depressed and miss where im from and my family oh and im 12 weeks pregnant what should i do????

Answer 1

Let's see...your husband has no idea ?!? You might try something crazy like talking to him. After the talk then you can decide on your course of action.

Answer 2

The first thing that you should do is speak with your doctor to get some help with these overwhelming feelings that you have. As a military dependent, you have free health care, so there is no need to suffer in silence. Second, you should talk to your husband about your feelings. Let him know that you are lonely and feeling depressed. Third, try to look for a job or volunteer work, or something to get you out of the house and around people.

Now, after trying these things, your husband continues to leave you home alone and continues to ignore your feelings, then you should leave him and go back to your family and take your daughter with you. It will not be easy, but a woman that is depressed and lonely cannot make a good mother. Staying together "for the kids" is one of the worst reasons for staying married. That will only make life miserable for you and your children.

If you love him, give him a chance. If he loves you, he will try to fix the trouble in your marriage. If he does not try to fix things, then leave him and find a way to be happy and healthy.

Answer 3

Girl, i no where your coming from, i'm a army brat, my dad was in the army and now my hubby is...and the army life is hard, it really is, you have to stop and think, do you love your hubby?..i'm sure you do and you have to understand with the army your gonna move around alot and your always gonna be away from home and it's gonna be hard and your not gonna no anybody, but remember there are other woman in the same boat as you in your neighbor hood, try making some friends, find a job around there, then you'll be out of the house and you'll be meeting people as well, and communication is the key to a long lasting relationship, talk to your hubby about this, tell him how your feeling, he can help you with this, his friends probably have wives or girlfriends, he doesn't no how your feeling if you don't tell him, it would be wrong to pack up and leave without giving it a chance, and if you love your hubby it's not a really good reason to leave, we all get homesick and i'm sure you really miss your family, see if you can invite them down to come visit you, just hang in there, let your hubby no how your feeling and give it time, things will get better, God Bless and tell your hubby we thank him for all that he does for our country.

Answer 4

First of all congratulations on your pregnancy. I think you should take a minute to relax a bit. Stress isn't good for the baby. I thin it's time to sit your husband down, and let him know how you are feeling. He probably thinks you are find with him being out all of the time. Talk to him let him know how lonely you are. Also shoot the idea to him about you going home for a while to be around people that can keep you company, and let you feel like you are needed, and wanted. Also keep in mind your daughter may have friends she doesn't want to leave, and does she have any friends back home so that she now isn't the one who's depressed. You will also have to consider the fact of your husband missing the experience of his second child being born. Wow you have alot on your plate, but make a list of all of your concerns, and bring them to your husband's attention. Good Luck, and many blessing to you and your family

Answer 5

Well that all depends. You knew marrying him that his job with the army would require him to move away from friends and family and you married him anyway. It's not fair to him that you want to go home because you are homesick when he thought you knew what you were getting yourself into.

However, I dont think it is right that he goes and spends all sorts of time with his friends while you are stuck at home. Are any of his friends married? Could you possibly connect with one of the wives?
Also, I would suggest finding a job, or a hobby. Being stuck inside all day with nobody to talk to is enough to depress anyone. I know I wouldnt like it.

I suggest you tell your husband how you are feeling and find ways to get more involved so you can meet more people and then hopefully after a while it might not exactly feel like home, but at least you'll be able to manage.

Answer 6

i think you need to talk with your husband about your depression, lonliness and boredom. let him know how you're feeling.

he will never know unless you tell him.

you could also let him know that you'd like it if he'd spend more time with you and your daughter enjoying each other's company.

meanwhile, you really need to find things to do to occupy your time when he is at work or has other activities, hon. can you join a gym? take a class of some sort? join a women's group of some kind? getting out and meeting new people is the best way to find new friends and expand your horizions.

as for filling in the rest of your time, have you ever considered a hobby? ask yourself what you might be interested in. go to a hobby or craft store and check it out... you might find you like scrapbooking, etc? you could also open an ebay account and sell those items which are laying around and you don't use (lots of people even purchase used children's clothing in good condition.. you'd be surprised!).

perhaps you need to fill in your time.

see what your husband says about what is going on with you -- HE NEEDS TO KNOW! -- and make a decision about whether to stay or leave after the two of you have had time to think about this and come up with a solution.

take care... i hope you find your way, and that it's the best thing for you.
hugs.

Answer 7

Why don't you head out and meet some of the other wives. You ladies need the support that each of you can lend. You may also want to look into a part time job to get you out of the house for a few hours a day, there may even be something on base for you, but you cannot stay cooped up like a hermit crab in a shell.....get out meet people. marriage is for better or worse....YOU need to try to help yourself to make it better for you before you give up on your marriage. You and your husband should also be spending time together, and why don't you go with him to his friends.....you need some friends.....you are not the only military wife who has been through what you are feeling and going through.

Answer 8

Seems like you do not have to work... so enjoy the peace while you can. Just get out and meet folks, attend a church or social event... get your daughter involved in something... you need some hobbies of your own. Your life has not ended just because your in a new place and your husband is gone. Do something for yourself. Go to school, get your own life started... and be blessed you have another child on its way. Your being selfish and thinking only of yourself.. which will depress you even more. Get your mind off yourself and do something for other people instead.

Answer 9

So go home for a couple of weeks and take your daughter and enjoy visiting your family. If you needn't work, take advantage of the time.

Then when you come back, talk to your husband. Also check in the area and see if there is a mother's group of women with children your daughter's age or one on the way.Ask your doctor to rule out hormonal issues, or if there are hormonal issues, how you can deal with it. Good luck.

Answer 10

tough one. It doesn't sound like your husband is being supportive. Can't you go with him when he sees friends? don't they have wives? Keep in touch with your family, but he is your husband and you need to work it out, since you say you love him. Tell him how you are feeling. You need to work this out soon because stress is bad for baby and with the new hormones you will be having, it will only get worse. Get out there, find a hobby, church, find a community chat room, meet people, lots of things you can do.

Answer 11

When he goes to his "friends" house, why are you not going along? You are a family. He should not be leaving you out. That is rotten. You must first sit down and talk this over with him. Let him know how you feel exactly. If he is willing to change things up, then try it and see how you feel.
If he is not, why not? Then going home will look all the sweeter. Good Luck.