One Chicken, One Road, Many Reasons
Why did the chicken cross the road?
KINDERGARTEN TEACHER: To get to the other side.
PLATO: For the greater good of man.
ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross roads.
KARL MARX: It was a historical inevitability.
TIMOTHY LEARY: Because that's the only trip the establishment would let it take.
OSAMA BIN LADEN: That chicken knew nothing of its mission (ha ha ha) only that it would be a martyr.
SADDAM HUSSEIN: This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.
RONALD REAGAN: I forget.
CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK: To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.
HIPPOCRATES: Because of an excess of phlegm in its pancreas.
ANDERSEN CONSULTING: Deregulation of the chicken's side of the road was threatening its dominant market position. The chicken was faced with significant challenges to create and develop the competencies required for the newly competitive market. Andersen Consulting, in a partnering relationship with the client, helped the chicken by rethinking its physical distribution strategy and implementation processes. Using the Poultry Integration Model (PIM), Andersen helped the chicken use its skills, methodologies, knowledge, capital and experiences to align the chicken's people, processes and technology in support of its overall strategy within a Program Management framework. Andersen Consulting convened a diverse cross-spectrum of road analysts and best chickens along with Anderson consultants with deep skills in the transportation industry to engage in a two-day itinerary of meetings in order to leverage their personal knowledge capital, both tacit and explicit, and to enable them to synergize with each other in order to achieve the implicit goals of delivering and uccessfully architecting and implementing an enterprise-wide value framework across the continuum of poultry cross-median processes.The meeting was held in a park-like setting, enabling and creating an impactful environment which was strategically based, industry focused, and built upon a consistent, clear, and unified market message and aligned with the chicken's mission, vision, and core values. This was conducive towards the creation of a total business.
LOUIS FARRAKHAN: The road, you see, represents the black man. The chicken 'crossed' the black man in order to trample him and keep him down.
MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.: I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.
MOSES: And God came down from the Heavens, and He said unto the chicken, "Thou shalt cross the road." And the chicken crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing.
FOX MULDER: You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How many more chickens have to cross the road before you believe it?
RICHARD M. NIXON: The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat, the chicken did NOT cross the road.
MACHIAVELLI: The point is that the chicken crossed the road. Who cares why? The end of crossing the road justifies whatever motive there was.
JERRY SEINFELD: Why does anyone cross a road? I mean, why doesn't anyone ever think to ask, What the heck was this chicken doing walking around all over the place, anyway?"
FREUD: The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.
BILL GATES: I have just released the new Chicken Office 2000, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook.
OLIVER STONE: The question is not, "Why did the chicken cross the road?" Rather, it is, "Who was crossing the road at the same time, whom we overlooked in our haste to observe the chicken crossing?"
CHARLES DARWIN: Chickens, over great periods of time, have been naturally selected in such a way that they are now genetically disposed to cross roads.
ALBERT EINSTEIN: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road moved beneath the chicken depends upon your frame of reference.
BUDDHA: Asking this question denies your own chicken nature.
RALPH WALDO EMERSON: The chicken did not cross the road... it transcended it.
ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die. In the rain.
COLONEL SANDERS: I missed one?
BILL CLINTON: I did not, and I repeat, did not have sexual relations with that chicken.
PAT BUCHANAN: To steal a job from a decent, hard working American.
L.A.P.D.: Give us five minutes with the chicken and we'll find out.
DR. SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes! The chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed, I've not been told!
GRANDPA: In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.
GEORGE W. BUSH: The chicken crossed the road because he was an evil-doer, and we smoked him out of his hole and got him on the run!
2007-07-12 13:15:19 · 22 answers · asked by deedee2qu 3 in Politics & Government ➔ Other - Politics & Government
http://jokes.comedycentral.com/random_joke.aspx?joke_id=227
2007-07-12 13:16:25 · update #1
why do you think the chicken crossed the road. come on guys be creative : )
2007-07-12 13:17:48 · update #2
The Liberal chicken crossed the road because the middle of the road would be to bipartisan : )
2007-07-12 13:27:01 · update #3
JOSE MOURINHO: Did it? Then we're going to sign it for, uh, Chelsea FC this season. If it can cross roads, it can surely, uh, cross the midfield.
SIR NEWTON: The fact that the chicken crossed the road defying the centrifugal force and force of gravity, is astounding.
ME: In a successful attempt to stir up discussions in Yahoo!.
US DEFENSE SECRETARY: That chicken is a suicide bomber! Get it!
JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE: What goes around comes around....
ASH KETCHUM: I'm going to catch it! Go Charizard!
UNDERTAKER: Tonight, the chicken will REST IN PEACE!
CONDOLEEZA RICE: We shall conduct a diplomatic meeting with the chicken immediately. It should be taught democracy.
UN SECURITY COUNCIL: We have discovered that the chicken is actually laundering money in the course of crossing the road and has several bank accounts in different countries. We will discuss this issue in the next world meeting and seek votes for freezing its assets.
HARRY POTTER: It must be Voldemort in disguise!
CHICKEN: What the hell is everyone's problem?
2007-07-13 21:40:15 · answer #1 · answered by Devilishly Sexy MasterMinD 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
SIMON COWELL: I dont care WHY the chicken crossed the road. I just want him to know that that was THE WORST road crossing I have ever had the misfortune to endure. PAULA ABDUL: Well...I dont think it matters why that chicken crossed the road. But it was beautiful. And he knows that he achieved his goal and made our lives beautiful. The other side of that road is where your dreams are and... [MORE DRUNKEN RAMBLINGS] RANDY JACKSON: Yo. Check this out. Dawg! That was TIGHT! It was off the chiz-ang. You smashed it , dawg!
2016-04-01 01:02:09 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To get to the rooster on the other side to confuse people on the question which came first the chicken or the egg?
2007-07-12 13:29:01 · answer #3 · answered by MELANIE 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
The chicken crossed the road to prove to the skunk and the raccoon that it could be done. be ba be be that's all folks
bob
2007-07-12 13:21:54 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
The chicken crossed the road because the buzzard told him he couldn't do it.
2007-07-12 13:23:16 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
"To get to the other side sir. Stepped out of rank got hit by a tank he ain't no chicken no more NO".
A quote from the movie "Stripes" with Bill Murry.
2007-07-12 13:21:06 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 0⤋
To avoid serving in the military in a time of war?
2007-07-13 07:51:29 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
The chicken crossed the road so I could BBQ it for dinner.
2007-07-12 13:22:01 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 1⤋
Because the farmer left the gate open.
2007-07-12 13:25:47 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
If it's so important why don't we ask the chicken?
It all depends on the definition of crossing is...
Aren't we better than chickens to God to know why the chicken cross?
Show me what is on the other side and I will tell you why the chicken cross.
Money changes everything.
who cares it tastes good!
2007-07-12 13:54:18 · answer #10 · answered by Jose R 6 · 1⤊ 4⤋