Why does nobody wait to have a kid after marriage anymore?

Question

I'm not super big on the "traditional" way to do things, but I don't get it. Would'nt you want to get married first to make sure you were ready for that kind of commitment in the first place? Marriage may not make that big a difference, but it has to have some kind of effect on how you see your life on it's own and your life with this person...I dunno. I was just wondering♥

I don't really believe in sex for marriage. You fall for someone way before your sure you want to marry them, and the lust comes along with that. Waiting is Hell.

Answer 1

I was 18 when I met my son's biological father, and apparently still immature. A year later, I got pregnant, and had my son. Did it, by myself, for a year and a 1/2. Then, I met my s/o, very soon to be husband. He was recently divorced, and we moved in after dating for 3 months. (I've known him for 10 yrs) I didn't really feel the need to rush getting married, although we talked about it all the time. 3 yrs later, I got pregnant, with my youngest, (planned) had him last year, he'll be one on 8/2, and Chris and I have been together, 5 yrs. I've had my engagement ring for a while, we just haven't had the time, or anything to plan a wedding, which we are in the process of now. We refer to eachother, as husband and wife, share everything. People may frown upon this, but I really do not care. I really did want to be married first this time, and do things the "right" way, but it just didn't happen like that. :) If we wait 2 more years, we be "common law" husband and wife, lol

Answer 2

Not necessarily- I'm a virgin & I'm waiting till I get married. It's not as horrible as people make it out to be- you just have to learn to avoid situations and people that could potentially throw you off track. Now don't get me wrong, I have urges just like the next person, just gotta keep 'em in check. I think that's a big part of the problem- people do whatever pops into their head no matter how irresponsible it is and will try to excuse themselves by saying, "Oh, it just happened." That's why so many people have all these kids out of wedlock because they have no control over their urges and because they're afraid of commitment. They wanna play house instead of setting up house. What's the point of living and doing the same things as married couples if you're not gonna tie the knot, u know, make it official. That's a dead-end relationship. To me it's just a cop-out, plus people take marriage way too lightly nowdays. Kids shouldn't be raised in that type of environment because it sets a very bad example of how relationships should work.

Answer 3

I totally agree.

You see these moms with their babies and they just drift from one man to another. And even if they do stay with one man, why not just get married? I think it just sends a bad message to the kid. I know someone who got pregnant at 19 and she's been with/not with the same guy for 10 years - the span of the boys life. That boy is the most messed little 10 year-old ever. That's what happens. These kids get so freakin' messed up.

Hey, I'm all for sex-before-marriage. But you don't have to have a kid, do you?

Answer 4

Problem is some men don't want to commit because a lot of females are after money or child support. Men get scared. Women want to get marry but it is the man that turns them down.

Answer 5

Yeah i can see your point on it but it's easier for some people to have a child and not get married then to get married and have a child but they soon find that it wasn't as easy as they thought and accidents do happen. Some people wind up getting married later on though. It's just the way it is.

Answer 6

*sigh* where have all our morals gone? S*x is suppsed to wait until after marriage too, that's why marriage exists! I'm waiting until after I'm married to have s*x and at least a few years after marriage to have a kid. My parents didn't do that and now they hate each other but they're kinda stuck together.

I agree with the girl who said "whooops, i made a mistake, let's name her Ariel!"! OMGosh!! That was SO funny!!!! xD ♥

Answer 7

people no longer fear getting ostracized and teen no longer fear being caught having sex outside marriage. The world is a perverted place today.
I am a Grandmother 11 times over and only 1 of my 4 kids got married. They all have at least one. Sad isn't it?



Love waits, Pandora

Answer 8

No way am I having a kid before marriage. My child needs a mother and father. I'm doing everything I can to get not get pregnant before marriage cuz I don't want to be in that situation.

Answer 9

marriage is a reunion of two people becoming one in spirit.
having a child is a big responsibility and you have to have someone there to help you raise that child. bringing up ur child in a family with a husband and wife together is healty for you and the baby and it's a wise decision too that way you're not only a wife but a mother.

Answer 10

It's easier to leave and take the kid if you're not married.

Just because there is no marriage in the relationship doesn't mean the kid won't have a father. I've been unmarried for 9yrs with my daughters father, no plans of marriage.