20 years old and 30 weeks pregnant?

Question

my bf tells me constantly that he dosent want other men around my daughter once she gets here...but i caught him trying to kick it to someone else on the net a couple weeks ago...so im no longer interested in being with him, im through on that level...however i still want to raise the baby together as friends...what would you say or do if he told you he didnt eant you dating or no where near another man just because you had a baby together...

Answer 1

been there did that and girl the only thing you worry about is your kids i live for mine literally iwas going to say 20 but im in my 30 and doing it by myself and he still in the pic as friends believe me you will lose respect for him. its basically impossible he will be a jerk and you will learn to work around him and chances are you will be going to court for child support. theres no easy answer but one thing i can say once your daughter comes you wont care b/c the love is so uncondiontional and nothing else matters except her well being and you will finally listen to your heart. hey get ready for the biggest love in the world its truly over whelming

Answer 2

First of all did you discuss what was going on on line? I am not saying that what he did was ok or even justified but how are your feelings towards one another? Is this the first time? How long has it been going on? Was it a one time thing that he regrets and wants to work past?
I can see 2 points of view here. I think it will be great if you 2 can raise the child together but if there is no way that you 2 are going to be able to work it out...it will be a little confusing for the little one when it comes time to try and accept another man later if he/she has only been "allowed" interaction with one man/father figure.
It will be easier of course if you CAN work it out and be together for the sake of the child so they have a form of stability of a mother and father figure.
I would want to know why it would be ok for him to (and I am not sure what you mean when you say kick it to someone else) Do you mean hitting on, flirting with, cybering?
Anyways why would it be ok for him and not for you to find someone else. You are a grown woman and he can't dictate to what will be or won't be.
He is either commited to you and the baby or he is out of any of the decisions.

Answer 3

I would have to say that your bf is being unrealistic right now. But I would not tell him that right now, because you have better things to worry about and you don't want any bad vibes to effect your baby. So think positive. Once you have the baby and get settled and your ready to date then date. But realize that you have to be VERY selective in who you date, because not to sound harsh because I have a problem with this also. Sounds like you don't pick the best bf, especially since he was trying to kick it with someone else while you were pregnant with HIS baby. You deserve better and even if you didn't your child DESERVES better.
Good Luck!

Answer 4

I would tell him to get real. It is not up to him. The fact that you two have a child together does not give him the right to control your life. He should have thought about that before he got you pregnant. He can't expect you to be alone forever. If you two end up going to court for custody or whatever I am sure that you will win so I wouldn't worry about it. The mother almost always wins unless she is unfit and he sounds a little nutty (no offense). Congrats and good luck with your daughter!

Answer 5

I would tell him to screw off and that he should respect my judgement and that he should know me well enough to know that I wouldn't just let anyone around my baby.

* I'm not judging you, but I hope you're not planning on running out and finding someone new. You're about to have a baby, you need to focus on raising her, not worrying about men. I highly recommend not dating at all until your baby is at least a year. You've got way too much on your plate already, you don't need relationship drama as well.

Answer 6

uh oh! bring on the baby-daddy drama!!!!!!

lol juuuuuussst kidding!

but no seriously, how in the hell is he gonna think that crap is fair when his azz can't even stay in a monogomous relationship with the woman carrying his child...hmm sounds to me like a "typical" man...SELFISH..

I say you do you (well of course once your ready) since thats what he seems to be doing, and i dont mean like go out and be with every guy but when you feel ready to date (although i dont think you will for a while having a new baby around..lol) then do so as you please, he doesnt own you. Good luck girly.

Answer 7

Legally, he can't tell you who can be in your house when the baby's there, and you can't tell him not to expose your daughter to his new love when he has custody, either.

I'd get it down on paper, though, go to court if necessary to spell out what his rights as father will be. But I guarantee he will NOT have the right to dictate who visits at your house while baby's there.

I don't trust this guy, I don't know why. Be careful with him.

Answer 8

I'm afraid I'd turn it right back around on him. I'd say that I didn't want him dating either, or if he did I didn't want his girlfriends around my child.
The thing is, he can't control your life if you aren't together. You're a grown woman. There's nothing wrong with seeking out someone who will be there completely for you, even if your daughter's father is still in your lives. You're entitled to having someone in your life for emotional support, because you're probably going to need it.

Answer 9

well, I think its way to early to even be thinking about dating other men at this point. I mean this all just happened and your pregnant it should actually be the last thing on your mind as of now. Its not like your desperate to date right?

Ok so I would just not think or talk about it, no worries. Later down the road worry about all that not now.

Answer 10

It's not his choice but you will probably need to get a restraining order ... things can get violent. And tell him you want the same from him...he can't have other women.