Should This bother me or not?

Question

I got married on June 23rd of 2007. I love my wife with all my heart. She works as an independent jewler for a jewlrey company that is known world wide. She told me before we got married on the 23rd that she wanted to go to a nationals training show in Texas from July 11th to the 15th. It's not manditory, but it helps people like her who have a tough time with this business kind of break out of their shell and get their business off the ground. I told her I really didn't want her to go because of how close it was to our wedding date. She kept saying that this would be good for her so she could start making some money with the business. I told her that if it was in September or something I wouldn't feel this way about it because it wouldn't be so close to our wedding date. Dispite how much I told her I didn't want her to go she went anyway. Should this bother me or am I just being an idiot?

Some of you think I'm not being supportive of her. The fact is I am very supportive of her. In fact, when some of her family told her she wasn't going to be good at it I was the one who pushed her to keep going. I've also attended several of the small training shows that her group puts on. The reason I couldn't go with her to this one is because I started a new job last February and I don't have any vacation days yet, or personal days left cuz I took them for the honeymoon. I just didn't want her to go because of how close it was to the wedding day

Answer 1

You're just being an idiot....and I'm not just saying that to jack around. She's only going to be gone for a few days, and no matter if it's now or next july, it's still only a few days. She is doing this to better herself, and not to mention, now that you're married, this training is going to better YOUR future as well. Don't you want your wife to be successfull and happy? Not to mention that if she is more successfull, you both will be more successful. If you just got married, then I suppose that you love her, and if you do, don't you want her to have everything to make her happy? I hope this doesn't bother you any more.

Answer 2

Hmm... Well you're already married so it's one of those things that you're going to have to start talking seriously about because if you are bothered, and you dont voice it, she either wont know anything is wrong OR she'll just assume she can do what she wants despite your feelings.... whew, long sentence. Please make sure though it's not the first thing you say as she walks in the door and definitely speak, dont argue. Tell her you just want to voice something now and not 3 weeks down the line when its long gone. Another aspect though is that you'll need to to be supportive of her career or supportive of her advancing professionally because otherwise, that's when support will be looked for elsewhere. In my opinion, I feel that you would have appreciated more time together so close after the wedding, being that money and everything else fade away but not true love. I feel the only real solution is to talk to her about it when she comes back and let her know your point of view. My wife is old fashioned and she greatly respects and appreciates my headship but, sometimes when we speak I can see at times I'm unreasonable. We did however agree that time together after the wedding is something to look forward too and is one of lifes greater moments. we hope the best for you........

Answer 3

I'm kind of glad you are bothered by it, Because it defiantntly shows how much you deeply care for her...

But, the first step in being a great husband, is being a great supporter, The wedding is over, so it's time to start living your lives. Her buisness is important to her, because its her backbone, her self esteem, her life. For her to care that much about her job, that she wants to go somewhere that could help advance her, She NEEDs this. She needs this more than, just a tittle change.

Thats what a wedding is, it's an exchange of titles, and a public announcement of love and devotion, but you cant have devotion if you dont support your wife's decisions, if one of hte reasons you married her, was because she was smart, then udnerstand that she's probably making a smart decision.

It's okay to let her go, let her know how much you will miss her, but how much you will support her, even though it will be hard on you. Because it's about her, not you, She needs this, and it's only less than a week.

And like she said, she can make money from it, which is important for any blooming marriage, especially her buisness, becuase it will increase her self esteem and self image, which is vital for a happy relationship with her husband.

trust me, It's never a bad idea, to support your wife, even if it means missing her, or taking one for the team.
But i definantly understand your feelings on this one, and i'm sure she does too, but since you just got married, this is just something you should give into, to show her, you are a supportive husband.

Answer 4

You're being an idiot. You also sound very controlling. These are bad signs so early in a marriage. You married on June 23rd. You've had time to enjoy your wedding and your honeymoon. Now let your wife attend this training show in peace so that she can be successful in business which is very important when it's all said and done. If it's really bothering you, you should have just gone with her. Jeez.

Answer 5

careers don't stop because people get married. she's still an individual who formed habits, beliefs and ideas long before she met you. obviously having a career is high on the list of priorities. she must be very independent and able to separate work and love- so you are gonna probably have to get used to it. or maybe this was just a one time thing and she really couldn't afford to miss it or wait for a later training. another thing to consider is her being a woman in a field dominated by men. Ive heard many stories about men missing sentimental milestones, births, etc in order to attend work related functions. she may be trying to prove herself. how you feel doesn't make you an idiot, but cut her some slack. make sure you meet her at the door/airport, wherever, with a smile and supportive stance, ask her how things went. looks like you married a go-getter. let her know you felt a little jealous or neglected later on though and try to reach a happy medium by balancing couple time and work travel.

Answer 6

I guess my question is, how much did the two of you discuss the issue? Did you just tell her you didn't think it was great timing, in a nonchalant way, OR did you adamantly oppose her going? I guess I am wondering if she realized how strongly you felt. I think it would definitely be bothersome and a concern if you really got your point across to her and she went anyway. But, she may have not realized the strength of your feelings about the matter. Also consider that she probably saw this as an opportunity to advance her career and help you both out as a couple. Now, I would just try to be supportive but she should really give you input on such matters in the future...that communication thing is what it's all about! Best of luck to you, and congrats on the marriage!!

Answer 7

Look...sport. What's the real worry? Is it really the jewelry show or what?

Regardless, lets just address the issue at hand. If you love her you have to lend support. You even admit that you were aware of this event beforew the marriage. In addition, you expertly explain the reason for this seminar and that she even needs it to help her in profession.

There's plenty of time to romance her when she gets back. In the meantime, care to see how happy she'll be when she gets back? Keep the joint clean. Vacuum at least once...like 2 days before she gets home. No dishes...dry or soaking...or piled in the sink. Garbage emptied and erase all computer history. Forget the making the fancy dinner. Do it if you want or take her out. Hell...get Chinese and light a few candles. As I said. Plenty more time for romance.

So have I made my point? So be there for her. She'll certainally be there for you.

Oh....and to answer your question. You're an idiot. (See above for details)

Happy and loving life together. Congrats on your wedding.

Answer 8

This is a little tough.
Are you in support of her business or her? or are you being selfish?
Yes, you all are still in the honeymoon phase of the marriage, and she should be with you. Why didn't you go with her? You probably could have made arrangements to go in support.
You do have a right to your feelings. I do not think you are being an idiot, but do not let this get in the way of your relationship or be an argumentative issue.
Let it go, whats done is done. If this sort of thing comes up again discuss it out and come to a mutual conclusion.
I do not think it was discussed enough in the beginning.

Answer 9

I understand your view, but I also understand hers. It sounds like her business is something that she is really interested in and has a lot of pride in. She is only doing this to better herself and her business. It's good that she realizes that she needs a little extra help to get her business up and running.

I think you should cut her some slack this time. It's something that means a lot to her AND it's not like she ditched your wedding day or honeymoon to go to this event.

It sounds like you have a good woman with a level head on her shoulders and you should be proud that she is doing this to better herself. I am sure that if she was worried about not having everything ready for the wedding, she never would have taken this trip. We women have a knack for working better under pressure.

Relax, and let her know that you support her with her business. Best of luck to both of you!

Answer 10

I'm sure your wedding date was planned way in advance before she knew the date of the national jewelry convention. I'm sure you will be greatly missed and she may regret her decision of going, but if this will help further her career then be proud that this is something she feels strongly about doing and support her 100%. She will be back in a few more days so that gives you lost time to make up for in the bedroom :)