If a friend of your hubby's friend owes you money?

Question

I've asked my hubby about 3 times in 3 months, when we needed it, if he asked his friend about the $60 he owes us or when he's going to pay us back. He gets really angry & makes up excuses for his friend like "he just started a new job" or "he'll pay it back, dont worry about it" or says "how many times r u gunna bug me about that" Well, we need the money & his friend is out partyin w/ his wife every weekend, so what's the big problem w/ asking him "hey man, you got the money you owe me? we really need it right now."

They're doing financially fine! Better than us if you ask me. They're a single couple, both working & we have 4 kids. We just happened to get our income tax money back at the time, but now WE NEED the money & I know they're out partying every weekend!!! If you have money to blow every Fri & Sat night, then they could at least pay 1/2 now & 1/2 later don't u think?

Answer 1

Wouldn't it all just be easier if husbands just came with strings and a little trigger so that you could work them like a puppet?

If he doesn't feel right asking his friend about the money, then he just doesn't feel right. It's his friendship in the balance. He'll know when the time is right to ask. I know...you are saying that now is the right time to ask, but then again, He is his own person and doesn't use the same brain as you....so sometimes he'll think differently.

Answer 2

Absolutely! This has happened to before. It sucks! If he can't pay it all at once then have him give you $30 now and $30 next paycheck. It's already been 3 months.
Your husband probably hasn't even asked him for it because he's embarassed about it and his friend is taking full advantege of it. Why don't you just ask him for it?
Next time you see him casually mention "hey so I hate to ask but when do you think you'll be able to pay us back that $60? I just don't want to forget about it you know" :D

Answer 3

That is typical when men loan each other money. Your hubby doesn't want to ask for it, because he doesn't want his friend to think that he needs it, and the friend is taking advantage of that. It is a male ego thing. I have seen happens dozens of times before. They would rather starve to death, then ask for what is owed to them. Don't ask me why!!! I saw my ex's friend buy a brand new car, a boat, and new fencing around his house, and never once offered to pay him the $2000 he owed my ex. I told my ex to ask for it, and he refused. He said that he friend would get around to it. Well the ex is still waiting 3 years later, and has been forced to retire due to serious illness. He can barely make his house note. He still will not ask for the money!!! He would rather borrow it from someone else!!!

Answer 4

So, my dear lady,

You have learnt a lesson, firstly, before loaning out money to friends, you must bear in mind that you can expect no return. The friendship will overide the asking.

We can be the best of friends or even relatives, but when it come to talk about money, within minutes, he/she can become enemy. So, money can end a relationship ya.

Of course, you have the right to ask, why not? But do not expect the return, since you had loaned out the money, you should not be bothering abt what they are doing at weekends. Focus on the money, otherwise adding salt and pepper will create more unneccessary problems ya. Remember, man dun like to be pester. It make them mad.

Ok, let not talk about their lifestyle, since your husband acted like a middle man, so be it. Fine, his friend just started a new job, by next month he should had something to give you. Now, when is the dateline? Tell your husband, (as his friend is hiding behind your husband to prolong the payment) that you will not pester him anymore, just ask him to give you the ultimate date of return. Agree on it with husband, mark your calender in front of him. Now you created a direction for both of you. Fair enough, if he returned in one week or month as per agreed, let it be. But by actual set day, if he still cannot get his friend to pay, I think he will feel remorseful, because what said was not done.

As a man myself, we usually try our very best to fulfil our promises or agreements, unless we got some serious real reason, we tends to accomplish what we set out for. If not, it hurt our dignity and intergrity (pride).

Set the date, by that time, no payment, tell your husband dun blame you for pestering again.

Challenge your man, a man must walk his talk, especially to a full grown adult man. Once agreement not fulfilled, you can set the next one, it is better to for him to set the date, becos if he set it, he sure to do it even if he have to come out of his own pocket to save the embarrassment.

Dun let this issue hurt you and hubby relation, it his unfaithful friend that cause this problem, both of you are the victim of it. I guess your husband already got the message and is trying his best.

So cross your fingers and wait ya.

In the meantime, Have a nice family weekends ya.

Answer 5

There is nothing wrong with that. It was your money that you loaned out. That being said, if this friend is not doing so well financially, you should give leeway. After all, it is your husband's friend! Ultimately- you loaned it, you didn't give it. Its your right to get it back.

Answer 6

YOU should just let the friend know that your family really needs the money and tell him you need him to pay it back.If you leave it up to your Hubby you will probably never see it...

Answer 7

I would ask him and see what comes out of it. Maybe you will get the money back

Answer 8

i agree even 20 every week instead of just avoiding it all.