my friend and i have been friends for 3.5 years, she's my best friend and we talk nonstop. she has told me about problems that she's had with her bf. they've broken up twice and they live in different cities, although they're not far away. she thinks that there might be another girl that he talks with a lot. i have never met him face-to-face but i have IMed him a few times i asked him if there was anyone else and there was a few ppl. he's techincally not cheatting cause he's not going out with them, but i really feel like i should tell her, but it might not do anything except for break them up and i don't want to do that cause she's always saying how much she loves him! i have an excuse why i haven't told her yet; she hasn't been on yet. when shes on, what should i do???
2007-07-12 11:50:15 · 20 answers · asked by nyc baby 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
That's a tough situation. If he isn't technically cheating, then I don't think that telling your friend is a good idea. He's not doing anything wrong, so no one is getting hurt. He should be allowed to have his life too. However, if it ever gets to the point where he is cheating and you know FOR A FACT, then the question is :
If you were in your friends shoes, would you want your friend to tell you that your boyfriend is cheating on you? This is always a hard question to answer, but the truth will eventually come out weather you tell your friend or not. I have found in my experience that when I alert a friend that something is up with their significant other, the dynamic of the friendship is never the same.
2007-07-12 12:02:46 · answer #1 · answered by sixfingeredman 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should most definantly tell her, because she will get hurt even more, if he does decide to persue those people. And it's information that you know, it will eat you up inside if you dont.
Be careful when you tell her, let her know nicely, she might say it's okay, maybe he's going through a phase, but let HER decide, for herself, and dont make it a big deal, and dont tell her that she should break up with him or anything, just be honest, let her know, and leave it at that. This way, she doesnt vent out on you, and cause any riffs with you and her, not that she would do that normally, but when people are upset things are said that aren't true.
But, she deserves to know, even if he loves him dearly, that doesn't mean it's okay for him to feel like he can do tthat to her... and it's not okay to ignore a problem.
There could be something wrong in the relationship, especially if they have broken up before. So, chances, are she could do much much better, and find true love, she might be missing out on someone much better already.
Dont blame him or be mad at him, even if they do break up, dont bash him, because if they ever get back together, it will be quite an ackward situation. Good luck, but please do tell her, i think you're being a completely awsome friend, keep it going!
2007-07-12 18:57:44 · answer #2 · answered by anjui63 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you know for a fact, that the information you hold is true..
I would go ahead and tell her.
To me, that is what a good friend does..tell.
If not, I won't consider you a good ..friend..
In fact, if she found out later that you knew,
she is going to be very hurt, and might even
dump you...as a friend..
Tell her....
2007-07-12 18:59:16 · answer #3 · answered by just me here 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO, let somebody else tell her, she's just gonna get pissed and lash out at you and it may even ruin the friendship so just play stupid when it does come out and be there to pick up the pieces
2007-07-12 18:54:28 · answer #4 · answered by Pop princess 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you know for sure that he is cheating on her, then tell her. If you think he may just be talking to them and nothing is happening, they keep it to yourself. He is the one that needs to step up and tell her he doesn't want to be with her anymore.
2007-07-12 18:54:14 · answer #5 · answered by harleychic 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
stay out of it. she'll either think you're lying or resent you for ruining her relationship. either wait til she finds out for herself, or find some way to gear her toward the truth without actually telling her so that she can see it for herself. when they do break up, you'll need to be her shoulder to cry on and you won't be able to if she's mad at you.
2007-07-12 18:55:23 · answer #6 · answered by hell0kittygyrl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't bring the subject up unless she does and if she does, advise her to talk to him about it. I wouldn't tell her, she probably won't thank you for it and you might lose her as a friend.
2007-07-12 18:55:09 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Break them up. If she's really your friend then you shouldn't want her to be with a guy like that anyways.
2007-07-12 18:57:31 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
she's ur friend she deserves to know anything that could affect her relationship with her bf. you should tell her that he's been chatting wit other ppl but u dont know whether if it is innocent talk or not. tell her not to jump to conclusions, and that she should just talk to him.
2007-07-12 18:55:11 · answer #9 · answered by Natalie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You've never met him. My recommendation is to just butt out. Stop IMing him. He's not your boyfriend and it's not your job to police your friends' relationships. Your friendship will end faster than you can click SEND.
2007-07-12 18:57:04 · answer #10 · answered by CarbonDated 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋