Please write a really random thought, idea, poem, short story or anything else. The most random thing wins?

Answer 1

I am Benoit Mandelbrot Holding a Chicken.

I redefine tables of pepper with my jocular slices of casino. Elevated plastic toes infuse my intestinal dichotomies with limp inkwells. My forgotten compass is enscribed by master carrots.

Which prawns require dough?

I am a Grass-Covered Car.

I rival maladjusted shoes with my intense rectangular water. My salty phobias give way to weightless Japanese limestone with walruses. A gifted butter elevates my jazz pickles.

How do wooden desires roll decent foxes?

Indeed.

Answer 2

Visors are hats for people that like getting ripped off.


Here’s the thing about handcuffs: there’s only one key for all of them. It’s not like the Tampa cops have their own special key and the Saskatchewan Mounties have a different one. They’re all the same. So the one true goal in any criminal’s life is to get a copy of the handcuff key. I’ve got thirty. If you want to buy one, you know where to find me.


My favorite part of the newspaper is the fun little stories about the dead people and their relatives.


Do you remember where I parked my van?


A pinky’s always a pinky, but a pointer and a ring finger are pretty interchangeable if you need them to be.


There’s nothing better than a wishing fountain. Go ahead, idiots, keep throwing your cash away. Old Bridget will make those wishes come true.


I’ve got an idea.



Books are great when you can’t find a pillow.

Toes are a luxury, not a right.


I fought in the Korean War. For both sides.


If you ask me, the quick money’s in billiards.


I love the smell of gasoline right after you light it on fire.


Restaurants were created to take advantage of the lazy. If you’ve got a forest and a lighter, you’ve got dinner.


Who decided that pigs are for eating but rats get a free ride?


I’d play the lottery if they let me pick the balls.


Television hasn’t been good since “The Goldbergs.”


I’ve played Monopoly in real life and bankruptcy is a lot harder to get out of than the game makes it seem.


Music really makes me want to sing, man.


They should rename the Virgin Islands. That was an expensive mistake.


I turn all kinds of things into pies.


Who hasn’t lived in a cave at one point or another? That’s what they’re for.


You say diabetes, I say diabetos.


Give me a mug and some beans and I’ll find a way to make your damn coffee.


Every time I step on a nail, I thank my shoes for doing their job the best they could.



I tore my rotator cuff. I always hated that thing.


Screw parasailing, man. Make the handicapped sail like the rest of us.


I’m really bad at remembering birthdays. I think mine’s in June, but who knows?


I’ll take the moon over the sun any day of the week.


Man, what ever happened to Zaire? That place was crazy!



This might not be “Peacie,” but I think we should segregate the ghost population from the living. Thoughts?


I’d chew ice cubes all day if they weren’t so sharp.


If you want to be a good hitchhiker, you’ve got to think outside of the thumb. Don’t just stand there when you could be dancing.


You’d be surprised to know how many passports I’ve got.



Where’s Thousand Island? I’ve got some vacation time saved up and it sounds like a delicious place to visit.


Root beer floats. It does. I’ve tested it.


There’s a fat man that sits by me. He has some sort of jar of multi-colored power beans. I need those beans, man.


The last thing I want to deal with at work is people.


I’m thinking about buying a horse. Great for transportation and once you’re done with it, you’ve got about seven days worth of meals.


Never trust mailmen.

Answer 3

Who decided to market a single pickle in those transparent plastic bags? I like pickles and all but I have never had any desire to squeeze a pickle out of a bag like a tube of toothpaste.

Answer 4

i sit in my room and eat carrots
i am waiting for my dog to still catch the stick that i asked it to fetch an hour ago
i am wearing a white shirt
damn my job

Answer 5

The yo-yo was originally a weapon used in the Philippine
jungles.

Answer 6

dance monkey, dance.
Jump, sit, and fart,
don't miss your chance,
to win some points.

Spank the monkey
Monkey see, monkey do.
Spank the Monkey
for he's no fool for you.
Spank the Monkey!
as he dance for you!

Monkey makes sweet love
to all the answers above.
Dance, monkey, dance.
don't miss your chance.

Answer 7

Cheese, Everyone loves it! All the different Variety! mozzarella, cheddar,parmeson and so on. Cheese if good!!!

Answer 8

I think I am one of the people who got salmenulla from the Taste of Chicago. ohno!

Answer 9

Veta Vita Veggimen. It's good for you and it's tasty too.

Answer 10

Look! It's shiny!! Ooooh! Can I have it??