Can one ever really forgive if one can never really forget?...?

Question

What are your thoughts? =)

Answer 1

forgetting what a person did is like admitting having an amnesia. forgiving is such a virtue that comes from a heart that understands. in forgiving we experience peace. we can really forgive if we allow ourselves to accept and understand the circumstances of the situation and swallow that pride. we can always forgive but we can never forget how that person made us feel.

Answer 2

Sure. All forgiving means is to give up resentment or claim for requittal. I'll never forget what my dad did to my family, especially my mom. But I forgave him a very long time ago. I hold no resentment toward him and do not expect any apologies. You can forgive someone without excusing them from their actions or forgetting they did it. Doesn't mean we'll ever be good friends, but forgiveness does not require liking someone. It requires letting the past go and moving on with your life. In fact, how can you REALLY forgive someone if you DO forget? If you don't even remember what happened, then there is not much to forgive for. Forgetting is the easy way out.

Answer 3

Before I answer your question I want to point out an aspect of your question, forgetting. We seldom can completely forget our past experiences, however, we don't have to dwell on them. Therefore, it becomes a matter of choice on wheather we choose to dwell on a subject or not. Just as we can not change the past we CAN choose how we intend to deal with the problem in the future. In other words, what ever we wish to forgive, we must first choose to allow it to effect our future. Let me give you an example: Joan has said some very bad things about me and it upset me when I found out what she said. Now I have a choice. I can stay mad at Joan and plot my revenge or dwell on how bad she hurt me OR I can make an appropriate confrontation with Joan and ask if what I heard was true or I can choose to ignore the whole situation. In either case it boils down to a matter of choice. It has nothing to do with forgetting. Remember forgiveness can only come once we allow ourselves to make the choice that this situation will no longer effect us.

I hope this helps.

Lex

Answer 4

Ask yourself if the act was worthy of forgiveness, if it was not, then you do not have to forgive the act. How can anyone expect you to forgive if there is no forgetting. Even in the case where you really don't think about the act anymore, you still do not have to forgive. There are acts which are simply unforgivable on this earth.

Answer 5

i accept...
its like...
you learn how to live with the mistake of another person...
that's not forgiveness
peace!