Rape/Sexual Assault - what do you not get??

Question

Ok - I've had enough! I can handle and even joke around about sexist questions towards women, but I am furious about the rape questions.

I don't care WHO you are - rape is NOT a joke! It happens to ONE out THREE women between the ages of 18-25, and that's an OLD statistic from Planned Parenthood. And those are ones that are reported!

Rape is forced, degrading and NEVER funny, and I am tired of seeing these comments and questions demeaning it. Unfortunately having been through it myself and being so scared the guy was going to KILL me, I want to know why you guys or gals think this is something funny?
I'm sorry if this offends, but I am seriously offended by people taking this issue so lightly.

Sorry - I was pretty miffed when I wrote this - I'd seen a few questions with stupid scenarios and blew my top.
But please answer this - why IS it taken lightly?

Sorry - I was pretty miffed when I wrote this - I'd seen a few questions with stupid scenarios and blew my top.
But please answer this - why IS it taken lightly?

hbthtrhrthr - good argument there - you are witty.

Robinson0120 - Yes, that is what I meant about 1 in 3 in their lifetime will be raped.
But you belittling my post by saying it isn't as big of a problem as it is gets you a thumbs down, mister. And I don't EVER laugh at anyone being raped - men or women, no matter what age, race, etc. It pisses me off and sickens me.
That's my point about this being taken so lightly. Thanks for illustrating callousness.

SJ - I wasn't drunk. I was raped in a parking lot and then robbed by someone who hopped in a car after and left. Thanks for the comments tho.
And I also said my stats were old.
See what I mean? Do you guys have no souls?

I have the police report to prove it Happy A$$hole. Consider yourself reported.

Here are your statistics - I got this from RAINN - Rape, Abuse, and Insest National Network.
Statistics
Submitted by darceyw on Thu, 2005-09-15 17:57.
Key Facts
Every two and a half minutes, somewhere in America, someone is sexually assaulted.
One in six American women are victims of sexual assault, and one in 33 men.
In 2004-2005, there were an average annual 200,780 victims of rape, attempted rape or sexual assault.
About 44% of rape victims are under age 18, and 80% are under age 30.
Since 1993, rape/sexual assault has fallen by over 69%.

And here is a link to Planned Parenthood. http://www4.plannedparenthood.org/pp2/portal/files/portal/educationoutreach/classroomactivity/activity-060417-rape.xml

OOp -
One more link from Rape Crisis Services
http://www.pprsr.org/rapecrisis/statistics.cfm#national

I've backed up what I've said, even I though I did say a number of times now that my stats were OLD.
kcbf - thanks - I find my question intellegent and well-asked.

FBI link - by region:
http://www.fbi.gov/ucr/06prelim/index.html

Happy Bullet, it is NOT the truth, and I reported you because your answer is incredibly offensive. So is your link. At least my links are from relevant sources.
You have a great day, jerk!

thank you to those who answered. Even the ones I didn't like. thanks for taking the time to say what YOU think.

With one exception for his sexist hurtful remarks, and he knows who he is.
I just wanted to open your eyes a little. Thanks for reading/and thinking about what I had to say.

PS - it did happen. Not being melodramatic or trying evoke sympathy. Just wanted my question to be a little thought provoking.

Answer 1

I can understand your frustrations. I have worked in rape counseling and for both genders, it is not funny at all. Some of the women and men I have treated have had to undergo surgery just to be able to use the restroom properly. They have lost interest in sex from their loving spouses/girlfriends/boyfriends, etc/.. and it effects the family just as much to go through it with them. Then you have people who scream that they asked for it, even if they were in their own homes and someone broke in, a situation they had no control of. It is very sad to see anyone joke about such a serious issue. Don't apologize, you have a right to be miffed, as should anyone else who finds jokes about this topic offensive.

Answer 2

Unfortunately, some of the men answering this question obviously "don't get it", when it comes to rape. (So far, the women who answered definitely "got it" as well as quite a few of the men as well). Instead of taking responsibility and trying to do something to educate other men about the sadistic torture that occurs on a regular basis to young boys and girls, as well as women and men, these men try to minimize your pain and the pain of other rape victims by focusing on the "statistics".

A couple of the answerer's are definitely mentally ill, to think that rape is a "joke" or that anyone "deserves" rape. I can't think of anything that someone has done that would deserve rape. No one deserves to be humiliated, tortured, and violated.

I'm sorry this happened to you. Thank you for sharing, even though a few sick people responded inappropriately. The rest of us agree that rape is a serious social problem, and that it won't go away until men and women respect the word "NO".

Answer 3

<< I am furious about the rape questions. >> Please cite one of the rape questions that infuriates you. I can't seem to find any of the joking and insensitivity you're going on about.

<< [Rape] happens to ONE out THREE women between the ages of 18-25...>> You're playing fast and loose with statistics here (I have a degree in statistics, so don't even go there.) It may be that a third of the rape victims is between the ages of 18 and 25; but that's not quite the same thing as saying a third of that age group will be victims. Not quite sure what your agenda is here.

<< Sorry - I was pretty miffed when I wrote this..>> Then please accept this friendly advice: if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all.

<< hbthtrhrthr - good argument there - you are witty. >> He's also right.

<< Robinson0120 - ...you belittling my post by saying it isn't as big of a problem as it is gets you a thumbs down, mister. >> I give him a thumbs up for calling you on your misleading "statistics".

<< SJ - I wasn't drunk...Do you guys have no souls? >> Planned Parenthood (following the link you provided) says in part, "Binge drinking and drug use are related to increased rates of victimization." SJ He gets a thumbs up, as well. He's also right, BTW.

<< I have the police report to prove it Happy A$$hole. Consider yourself reported. >> You yourself are being crude, now, and that gets *you* reported.

<< Here are your statistics - I got this from RAINN - Rape, Abuse, and Insest National Network. >> Who?

<< And here is a link to Planned Parenthood. >> They also say that 44% of the victims are under tha age of 18. When you add that 44% to the 33% you cite, you get 77% of all victims are under the age of 26. That makes being older that 25 a pretty safe age group to be in, what with "only" 23% of all rapes happening to that age group (26 - 99). Do *you* believe that statistic?

<< I've backed up what I've said, even I though I did say a number of times now that my stats were OLD. >> I'm not sure anyone questioned the oldness of the "stats". Indeed, Sgt Pepper was pretty civil in merely asking for a citation. Who would have down-thumbed that?

<< FBI link - by region...>> I followed this link and see that forcible rape has gone DOWN nearly two percent. You chose not to highlight that "fact"; why not?

<< I just wanted to open your eyes a little. Thanks for reading/and thinking about what I had to say. PS - it did happen. Not being melodramatic or trying evoke sympathy. Just wanted my question to be a little thought provoking. >> I'm not sure you posted your question(?) for these stated reasons, or that posting here is as good a place for constructive provocation as, say, a letter to the Editor or a letter to Playboy. You might think about that and how you could better focus your efforts.

Answer 4

Rape is not a joke.

That said, you neutralize the poigniancy when, you or other rip off ridiculous statistics. I take rape very seriously but it is your statistics that I laugh at.

-Planned Parenthood could just as easily be called UNplanned Parenthood.
- The clientel for clinics tends to be of a lower economic status, where sexual crimes and crime as a whole are higher. If you go into a high risk area you will find high results.


- 90% of men have raped their girlfriends? Give me a break. Not everything that is unwanted contact is considered rape. Rape is the highest degree in a family of crimes that includes things like sexual assult.


All of this uneducated banter is what deludes this topic. For some reason everyone feels the need to throw in their own two cents in order to feel some self worth, at the expense of an intellectual topic.

Answer 5

With all that's said and statistics given (outdated or not), what would anyone consider rape? After all, when is rape...rape? Last I knew, the legality behind rape, was when the perpetrator was told NO. Unless I'm mistaken. If I was having a conversation with a Man that included sexual talks and he took it upon himself to jump to conclusions that I would engage in sexual activities with him, does not constitute approval from Me to allow him to have sexual intercourse with Me. I don't care if we both was leading each other on. The second a perpetrator is told NO, the "foreplay" or "sexual innuendo's" stops and comes to a screeching halt.

Thumbs down on my opinion wouldn't matter. As long as I know what Rape is. NO is NO, regardless of anyone leading or misleading someone on, that's just the bottom line.

Answer 6

I'd like to see a citation for your assertion that 1 in 3 18-25 year olds are raped. You can cite either Planned Parenthood or the FBI, if you like.

EDIT: Yes, you cited two sources, neither of which support your assertion. TO BE CLEAR: it is simply not true that 1 in 3 (or 1 in 4) 18-25 year olds will become the victim of rape. Further, it is inflammatory to state or suggest that that it is the case. Largley, the rest of your story is somewhat validated by reason and common sense. Just not the stats, sorry.

EDIT 2: Just to make sure there's no confusion about my having empathy... I am a certified SHARP (Sexual Harrassment, Abuse and Rape Prevention) instructor.

Answer 7

I'm sorry that I didn't read all of your details, but you must understand that people who joke about it are just as scared of it as the people who take it seriously. I had no idea that the rate was so high (thanks for that, im making sure I turn on the house alarm every night) but you certainly do have a right to be "miffed". Which is really a fantastic word.

Answer 8

I COMPLETELY agree with you. I don't think any reasonable rational MATURE person would be offended by this question.

And I also don't think men being raped in jail is very funny... maybe if you're a sadomasochist, I might understand then, but otherwise... forced sex in any situation is NEVER funny.

And the first person to answer this question is a blatant example of someone not taking this issue seriously...

I think the people who would take rape lightly are immature sadomasochists... or maybe they had some kind of abusive situation in their past that they're still trying to cope with, and turning it into something "funny" makes them feel better about it (and if the latter is the reason, then I completely sympathize and hope they can come to terms with their past)

Answer 9

You're right. But the idea that rape is a joke comes from the idea that women aren't really people--that they're somehow "different" and therefore don't quite rank as an equal person. Jokes made about male rape--like when a man goes to prison--come from heterosexual male fear of homosexuality. Jokes about female rape come from a deeper place--a place where women are considered property, where they're considered "less" than a real person, and where they shouldn't get too "uppity."

You have every right to be angry. Don't apologize. :)

Answer 10

It's only taken lightly by those who haven't gone through it. Anyone who has gone through it would know better. I was at the local police station lately getting a headlight ticket taken care of when a girl came in claiming she'd been raped. She was obviously emotionally distraught and disheveled. The police officer led her into an office and came back out to get a rape kit and I overheard him tell another male police officer that he didn't believe her and it was just another waste of a rape kit.
My ex was a cop. When he was in the police academy, his teacher did a detailed survey of those in the class about what they'd done sexually to their girlfriends and wives. Ie, have you ever grabbed your girlfriend when she clearly told you "no" and other similar situational questions.
90% of the class had raped their girlfriends, friends or wives.
That is why rape is still a problem. Men do not understand what constitutes rape, nor do they care.
Rape is any coerced sex act that your partner makes clear she does not want to engage in. It is not okay to rape your girlfriend. Just because she has dated you doesn't mean she wants to have sex with you. If men were typically smaller then women and we could physically coerce them at will, they would perhaps understand the issue.
I'm going to go ahead and bring this home to guys. Please do not read the following if you are under 18.
How would you feel if a girl at the bar that you weren't really attracted to put a rufies in your drink and raped your rearend with a length of PVC pipe? Then, let's say you report it and just get laughed at by local law enforcement and told that you asked for the attention.
That's why rape isn't funny.