We have been together for 5 years or more now, we have two kids and I also take care of his child from a previous. Ive asked him a million times why he wont and he just says its too expensive. What gives??????? He treats me like **** most of the time, leaving me with the kids while he goes off and does whatever. Im just sick of it I guess. I feel like I cant get out. I have been a staty at home mom for a while now. I couldnt move out even if I wanted to I have no job money or car. It totally sucks to have become so dependant on someone who treats you so bad. I feel like im stuck between a rock and a hard place. Im tired of being alone and having no social life. While he has a job and a social life. Almost everynight that I go to bath the kids, he takes off doesnt tell me just takes off and comes back when he feels like it. Maybe hes fed up with me and having a life with kids. all he wants is friends and he is so mean to me. what should i do words of wisdom from the wiser please. thanks
2007-07-12 06:07:36 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Why would you want him to marry you? He treats you like crap now. Do you really think it'll change when he says, "I do?" Not a chance. The LAST thing you need is to marry someone who is a lousy boyfriend and a lousy father. You DO have options, however. Just because you have been a stay-at-home wife for awhile doesn't mean you have to stay that way. Find a job! Then kick your sorry excuse for a boyfriend out or move out yourself, call an attorney, and start collecting the child support you deserve. If you can't get yourself to do that, then I recommend getting some counseling. You don't deserve to be treated like this, and it is bad for you AND for your children. If you love your children, you'll find a way out of this situation. All you are doing is teaching them how to be a doormat. Good luck!
2007-07-12 06:14:01 · answer #1 · answered by Mr. Taco 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
well by his actions, i think that he likes the fact that since you spend so much time at home. he doesnt really care for your feelings, and may be using the "marriage is too expensive" as a excuse. what you need to do is get a job, that way you will make him stay home with the kids. and what you need to keep in mind is that, youre giving him too much freedom. also, have u spoken to him about this issue??? one thing i learned about women is, women deserve control and respect. and right now you are being weak, and he doesnt respect you. he at least need to check in with you when he is out, but by what you say, he doesnt even call. u need to get a job, force him to support your kids more. if he doesnt change, move on without him, and serve child support papers. because if he hasnt married you now, at this rate he wont. he probably think that there is no point for marriage.
2007-07-12 13:27:32 · answer #2 · answered by Tony E. 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are a MESS. Why would you WANT to marry. You know what to do. Do it, and if you don't know start with a little self esteem, take time for yourself, get out once or twice a week, possibly find a job ( any job ). If things go to hell in the home, leave them !!! You are both responsible for the children, actually him more so since one is just his. Give him the responsibility through neglect. If that doesn't work contact child services.
2007-07-12 13:21:07 · answer #3 · answered by Ray2play 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should find a job, get a babysitter, have a plan B to move out with someone temporarily or get your own. File child support papers, and don't tell him. They will try to sweet talk you for just a short while then it's back the same things. Was in a simiar situation. Left everything, went to the shelter. Now I have a job, car, place to stay, and child support. We are doing fine.
You said it all. DO NOT MARRY HIM!
2007-07-12 13:16:12 · answer #4 · answered by tasha 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know how you feel.. My x did the same things to me.. I was married for almost two years.. I left and I'm happy now.. It takes a lot to leave but you would be better off.. Trust me he won't change! Leave and get child support... Can you live or stay wit Ur family.. mom or dad?? If you can I know it's hard but I did and I didn't have any money.. But your family is always there for you when you need them.. All you got to do is ask.. Give them a call... It will be worth it : )
2007-07-12 13:20:23 · answer #5 · answered by boo 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Start by getting a job close by. Store some of your money away for a car. Buy that car and find a better paying job. Then leave him. Forget marriage. What are you thinking? Why would you marry the person you just describbed?
I have many friends who complained and whined when their marriages ended because they were also stay at home moms. Guess what, only you can do something about it and you won't ever do it if you are waiting for his permission. Get off your butt and do for yourself.
2007-07-12 13:14:51 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
If he treats you like **** then leave. You wouldn't want to marry him when he treats you like that. maybe you could stay with some old friends or family until you can get you life going again. you could take the kids that are yours, and the children of the previous person could go to her if she's a good person. I think that you should just get out and start over.
2007-07-12 13:59:19 · answer #7 · answered by Eight of Hearts 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why SHOULD he marry you when he already has all the advantages of marriage, and still doesn't have to be legally responsible to you?
And more importantly, why would you WANT to marry this jack@$$? You need to get a job, save up some money, and work on getting a life AWAY from this jerk.
He has three kids and still isn't married!! Why would he at this point?
You don't need him. You need a lawyer.
.
2007-07-12 13:17:46 · answer #8 · answered by ♥≈Safi≈♥ ☼of the Atheati☼ 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My first question would be why would you want to marry this guy?It's very clear he doesn't give a **** about you. He's mean to you , he helps you none what soever with the kids. You are raising a child from his previous. Get out while you can. Life is to short for you to be so miserable. Good Luck To You.
2007-07-12 13:16:03 · answer #9 · answered by Pamela S 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you have to start doing things for yourself, if things are like this now then there is not reason to marry him, you need to become self independent and get a job so that way you can have a backup plan, he isnt going to change and as long as you continue to let him have all the power in the relationship and stay there where he wants you to be then things will not change...
2007-07-13 19:18:35 · answer #10 · answered by MidnightSkies 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋