Help--new mom finding it hard to adjust!?

Question

I need some encouragement. My son will be 3 weeks old tomorrow, he is my first, and I feel like i am gonna go crazy. Some days are better than others, but i have found it very hard to adjust to being a mom. I never could have imagined how hard it was gonna be! I feel so anxious and worried and tired. Will it get better? When? Sometimes i find myself thinking that i wish we would have waited a couple more years.. Please im looking for someone who felt the same way as i do-- like you were gonna go crazy from no sleep, having a fussy baby, and missing your life before baby... Encouraging words needed!! I feel like everyday is a week. This has been the longest 3 weeks of my life! Help

Answer 1

All new mothers have similar feelings. Some worse than others. I had twins with my first pregnacy. UGH! I went from being 9 mo pregnant one day with freedom of being able to go and do as I pleased to being 100 % tied down. I was losing my mind. I look back and see how I was with different eyes now. Talk to people. Get out. If you really feel like you are losing it....SEE YOUR DOCTOR! Don't be ashamed of how you feel. Talk to everyone about it. It is normal. Some people get the postpartum blues worse than others. I look back and now realize that for 9mo. to a year after my twins were born I should have been on antidepressents. I just thought it was normal to feel as bad as I did due to the fact my life had changed so much on that one day...the day they were born. Being overwhelmed is normal...but it CAN be too much. DO NOT BE SCARED TO TALK TO POEOPLE ABOUT HOW YOU FEEL. That is where I went wrong. I now look back and wish I had talked and got help. I feel I somewhat missed out on the enjoyment of my babies because I was sooo miserable. It does not have to be that way. Talk...if needed...get help...be able to ENJOY your new bundle of joy.

Answer 2

I know it's not the answer you want, but hang in there. My daughter is 11 mos now. I thought I would be back at work etc, after 3 mos, but am still home. Sometimes when I am actually around other adults, they discuss politics and the best I can manage is that on sesame street today we learned the letter r! If you are feeling like you really can't cope, call your doctor, this is absolutely normal. Your hormones are freaking out trying to adjust was is happening to your body. Please don't feel ashamed of this, most moms feel this way, I think. Sleep is the best thing to do, any time that you can. If Dad is around talk to him and tell him that you really need a break to sleep, sometimes a shower and just a trip to the grocery, or something really helps. Put your baby in a stroller and walk, you may not feel like it, but just getting some fresh air and exercise WILL help. My daughter just started sleeping through the night, after being moved to her own room from the foot of the bed, and that has made a huge diff. Don't be afraid to put your baby in the crib, or anywhere you know she is perfectly safe, and walk away for 10 mins. Wash your face, deep breathing, a quick chance to be by yourself. This will NOT hurt your baby, they also need to learn eventually how to calm themselves. I hope this helps. just know there are many many new moms out there pulling for you. You are not alone.

Answer 3

You need to sleep when the baby sleeps!!! If the house doesn't get cleaned for a day, that's ok. Ask someone to come help you for a few hours, so you have adult conversation. Have Dad take the baby for a few hours in the evening so you can sleep. I raised 5 kids and know what you are going through. Enjoy the baby while you can, because all to soon they will be going to school, college, getting married, then you will have to help with the grandkids and show how good a mom you are. Have a wonderful time, don't worry about anything except getting healed from having a baby. It is hard on your body, but you will love every minute of it, if you relax.

Answer 4

First of all, HUGE (((hugs))). you are not alone in feeling like this. Almost every Mother at some point have these emotions. Taking care of a newborn is hard work but it WILL get better. I cant tell you exactly when since every baby is different.
In order to get some sleep, have you tried co-sleeping? When I had my firstborn, she was colicky and the only way I could get any sleep was if I brought her into my bed. She slept longer and I would take advantage of that every time she would nap. Do you have someone that could help you out so that you could have a few relaxing hours to yourself?
Also, do you have a sling? They work wonders! Most babies just love being carried around by mom and like the closeness so therefore they are less fussy plus you can get a little more done.
I know what your feeling hun and its normal, It will go away. If you want to chat, you can email me at [e-mail].

Answer 5

I know exactly what you're going through... EXACTLY. It is a very difficult transition for some people I have come to find out. It only gets better with time... you will get used to each other and on a schedule and before you know it you will not remember what life was like before your beautiful bundle of joy arrived.

You can blame a lot of it on hormones... your body is tired and trying to adjust so let people help you with house chores and with the baby. Take a nap when you can and eat healthy. I know it's easier said than done but you have to do it so that you feel sane...believe me.

My daughter is now 9 weeks and we are getting along so well! It was tough, but give it a few more weeks and you will be in complete 'mom' mode and feeling good.

There's hope... just remember: YOU WILL SURVIVE this ALL! It's worth it.

Good luck... take care!

Answer 6

Life is going to get better i promise you that. I had the same problem. I say take help where you can get it. I had NO help at all. If you can get the grand mother to take the child for an hour or two it will totally help. If the baby is crying and crying put the child in the crib and close the door and walk away for 3-5 minutes and lock yourself in the bathroom and turn on the water. Let yourself calm down. I know the feeling of being overwhelmed. And the sleep will get better as time goes on. Usually when the child is at the weight of 12-15 pounds and they are eating more. Nap when the child naps only if its for 20 minutes. But the best help you can get is from friends and family. Let them take the child for a walk so you can lay down and re-coupe.. plus get daddy to do some work when he comes home.. take a nap for an hour or 2 as well when he gets home.. just keep telling yourself it will pass good luck and congrats :)

Answer 7

Hi! YES. It DOES get better eventually. You just have to be patient with your body/hormones adjusting back to normal. I had a baby 5 months ago and it took a while for me but I feel like finally I am getting back to my old self these days. The lack of sleep does have alot to do with it because as soon as my daughter began sleeping through the night, so did I and what a difference! My only advice to you is to talk to someone about what you're feeling. Don't hold it in and try to be brave and Super Mom and do it all yourself. It's just not possible. Realize it's okay to ask for help. You do need it, remember you just gave birth to a human being! Good luck to you and baby!

Answer 8

I think what you are feeling is completely normal. I felt overwhelmed as well. You need to relax and have confidence in your mothering skills which you will attain the longer you are at it. Is it possible that your mother, or baby's father's mother can come stay with you or at least visit for a few days to help you out. Sleep is the thing. Without enough sleep EVERYTHING seems too hard and overwhelming.

Try to recruit family members or friends to come over to keep an eye on the baby while you nap. Even if it's just for an hour. I promise this will pass soon enough.

Answer 9

Hi there
i know how you are feeling I recently had a(surprise)baby after having a 15yr old and a 9yr old i was feeling completely out of my depth. I finally realized that i was isolating myself and needed to get out of the house! I started walking and then i joined a mother and baby group where we sang to our baby's, played games and moms talked about everything they where feeling. I have also joined a playgroup that has a daycare on one side and a play area for moms to do crafts, have coffee or share their feelings, i go twice a week for two and a half hours. it was the best thing i could have done for myself. Also talk to your husband, boyfriend, mother etc... they my not realize how you are feeling but once they do they can really help, tell them you need a hour to do what you need to do, read a book (which i missed the most and still do !) or have a bath you choose. But do know that you grow with your baby and things do get better, and remember that your not alone, I'm still trying my best to stay sane. enjoy your new baby

Answer 10

It does get better. When my first son was born the days and nights dragged on forever. I looked like I could play the lead zombie role in some cheesy horror flick. But you will know that it was all worth it when he has his first real smile and it is all for you, or when he say ma ma for the first time, then when you let go and he takes those first steps all the sleepless nights and exhausting days will have definitely been worth it. I missed those baby days so much after my first baby I had 3 more 3 boys and 1 girl. Good Luck