Twenty years ago my folks had an ugly divorce, a year after it came out that my dad was gay. He still had sex outside marriage, and gave her crabs during that time. He told my grandparents the reason was because my mom was having an affair. My mom didn't tell them otherwise, as my grandpa's health was failing at the time. He still hasn't come out to his mom, and I think they have a lame relationship because of that. I think it hurts my grandma that he isn't more open with her. He now believes he has Sylvia Brown--like powers and has "come out" to his father,. I think he will wait until she passes away too before attempting to have a close relationship. To me it's sad. I think they would both be better off if he had the courage to tell her. Is it my place to do that for him? Over the last few weeks I've been livid, it just kind of hit me how blatantly evil his behavior has been in his past. My mom's well over it, but I feel like my grandma deserves to know she's innocent.
2007-07-12 05:01:54 · 23 answers · asked by RB 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
It is not your place to out anyone. Let your dad come out on his own time if he want to.
2007-07-12 05:06:27 · answer #1 · answered by Corey D. 6 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Hey, I am your age, and I think it is great that you want to concentrate on your studies and not be one of those people who have a new boyfriend every week. You sound lovely the way you are! Tell your family that you haven't met the right guy and you want your studies to come first! They can't say that is a bad thing! You have every right to be hurt, and I think you should stay the way you are. Maybe you can try makeup (but don't if it makes you feel really uncomfortable) just to show your family you do have an interest in it, to shut them up. Maybe just wear a little bit of mascara once in a while to keep them happy. And being gay doesn't run in the family, it is just something that happens. Hope I helped!!! And good luck!!!
2016-05-20 13:18:20 · answer #2 · answered by laurene 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, it's not your place to tell anybody anyone else's business. If Grandma doesn't know, what good can it do to tell her? would it change anything? If Grandma already knows and keeps that knowledge to herself, then I think she's dealing with it in her own way, maybe she didn't really like your mom, maybe she's letting sleeping dogs lie, because that won't change anything either.The fact that you know that things aren't all they seem will be enough, and you now see how evil your father's behavior is, so take warning.
2007-07-12 05:12:09 · answer #3 · answered by sugarbabe 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No one has given you the right to mess with your father's relationship with his mother. As said, butt out and mind your own business, this is personal between him and her, does not involve you in any way, shape or form. Look closer at what you asked, you sound like you have a great amount of resentment towards your father, perhaps deep-seated from the time of the divorce, and outing him to his mother would be a way for you to strike out and hurt him.
2007-07-12 05:10:15 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I understand your feelings, and agree with you that what he did was wrong. Your grandma does have the right to know, but it should come from your dad. Tell and explain to him your feelings on the issue and end the conversation with, " if you don't tell her, i will." It gives him fair warning to decide if hes going to step up and be the adult. Good luck and best wishes!
2007-07-12 05:10:23 · answer #5 · answered by no longer here 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell Grandma that your mom did NOT have the affair - that it was your dad. You can leave it at that.
I believe in clearing people's names.
2007-07-12 06:32:45 · answer #6 · answered by Tina Goody-Two-Shoes 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Yeah, this isn't your business at all. Stay out of it, get some counseling to deal with the anger.
2007-07-12 05:39:34 · answer #7 · answered by catgirl 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That conversation has to talke place between your grandma and dad it's not your call.
2007-07-12 05:40:06 · answer #8 · answered by lb_kj 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Instead of outing your Dad to your Grandma (which I believe is his responsibility), discuss your feelings with him. It sounds like he will be resistant, but if you present your view of their relationship, it may make him think, and you never know what will happen. People respond to things we never think they will. Good Luck :)
2007-07-12 05:19:50 · answer #9 · answered by Bridget C 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I doubt your motives, it sounds to me like you care more about revenge than actually doing any good to your grandmother or your father. This problem is between the two of them and you should step aside.
2007-07-12 05:08:42 · answer #10 · answered by rickyhunter 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
This is really none of your business. Encourage your dad to tell her the truth. Encourage your grandma to talk to her son. Then stay out of it. You think it will help heal things for her to know, but you could be completely wrong and the whole thing could blow up in your face.
2007-07-12 05:06:07 · answer #11 · answered by happygirl 6 · 0⤊ 3⤋