IS this abuse?

Question

I actually feel kinda silly asking this but i feel like i have to. I am 23 yrs old and i have been married for 1 yr and 1/2. My husband was my high school sweetheart. This isnt a recent change in behavior for him but everyone around me, my family included keep telling me its abuse. My husband is very demamding when it comes to doing things around the house. He wants everything done his way and when he wants it. If not, he tells me i do nothing and asks me what good i am. I feel that it should be an equal thing but he does nothing. I may not be explaining it very well, but he makes me feel like i am just a maid. I also work full time and i am 2 months pregnant. Am i wrong that he is just used to having everything done for him or is this abuse?

Answer 1

It is abuse. It may not be physical abuse such as hitting or the like, but the emotional and psychological abuse is clear and needs to stop. Imagine what he will do to the child when he/she is born. It will only get worse as time goes on.

Answer 2

Uggg....If you actually look into research the number one reason for divorce is not having help with housework and so on. Every good lasting relationship is when two people work together. You work full time also. All I can say is if you let him get away treatin you like this you will always be treated this way. Eventually you will become so unhappy that you will most likey leave him. You really need to sit him down when he seems to be in a good mood and explain how you feel. You need to explain to him that you Love him and you dont want these issues to keep making you feel this way or you will eventually not be able to be happy. If he cares and loves you he will be happy that you approached him now before being to late

Answer 3

that's a toughie, it may not seem to appear as abuse because it's not as noticeable like physical abuse is, but it's a form of it. It's emotional abuse. And right now, it may not seem like much, but believe me if he at all starts drinking or already does..it's only going to get worse! and physical abuse might come into play. Have you ever confronted him of this and tell him how you feel when he talks to you like that? Since you two are married and expecting a child i would suggest going to a good counselor who specializes in marriage. He should want to go to get help, if he at all cares about how you feel, if not I'd have to say he's an ***. Because even though, if thats the case, and he doesn't believe what he's doing is wrong, he should care about how it makes you feel.

Answer 4

Sounds like you have a princess on your hands. Hunnie, if hes been like that from the begining you should have never started a relationship. He could be emotially abusing you by telling you what are you good for. I would answer I'm good for sex, diner, your child, a personality, a heart, feelings, friendship and if you want to keep it you better help around the house because I am not your B'itch and I never will be. You want someone who is good for cleaning, hire a maid.

Answer 5

I wouldn't necessarily call it abuse, but the man seems to be treating you like total crap. He is a spoiled and cruel person. He will treat you this way as long as you let him. Eventually, he will get worse and it will cross over into true abuse. By then, you will have a few kids and no way out.

This is not the way you want to be treated. This is not the way you want your child treated. Get out now. Leave him, move back with family and either file for divorce or force him into intense therapy. Don't wait until its too late.

Answer 6

wow!! why are they that way? im in the same situation.. been married for 15 year, and grew so accustam to the words.. "ur good for nothing" Lazy.. what have u done the whole day!!" when he ask me something and i dont like jump right up doing it.. then theres trouble! sometimes he even woke me up 2 o clock in the morning to make him some coffee.. and silly me.. is doing all that! i believe when someone is telling u ur nose are all skew then after 15 years ur gonne believe that its true!! so same on, if someones telling u u are bad. lazy and good for nothing then ur gonne believe it!! and yes it is abuse.. verbal abuse! and sometimes i believe its even more hurtfull than a hiding.. the scars are emotional.. and theres nothing that hurts like words isnt it!?? and as hard as i try.. its impossible to forget.. the worst part in my situation is that im a homekeeper, doing odd jobs from home as we are living in a small town wiht no work for a woman! and that just give him even more power, the fact that im financially independant! weve got 2 kids, and i love my kids to bits.. so ive just learn to try and keep quiet.. be here.. live here.. breath here!! so to answer ur question its verbal abusement.. and i dont want to be negative or something, but its nog gonna get better unless he changed , like realy changed, otherwise its gonne get worse.. breaking ur self esteem. and making u dont believe in yourself anymore!! ive been there and still is!! believe me .. at the end u dont even know urself anymore, dont belive in what ur capable of and not!! ill pray for you.. as there is a lot of woman out there baring the same situuation!

Answer 7

I would say thats abuse, emotional abuse. Listen to your family and ask for their help, because it sounds like they are right on point with this. You dont want your child to grow up with this kind of downsizing talk.

Answer 8

It is a form of mental abuse. He needs to grow up and learn to do things for himself.

Answer 9

It is mentally and verbally abusive behavior and it's also controlling. He's not going to get any better. He's a control freak.

Answer 10

he definately has control issues which could lead to physical abuse. and yes, the name calling and belittling is a form of emotional abuse.