My husband is a wonderful man that works hard & likes to be out in nature. Recently, a friend came up w/ idea of a 4 day camping trip down some river & "roughing" it. I don't want to go (4 DAYS!! I'll go camping, but not for 4 days w/ out shower, phone, etc.....) However, he still wants to go & aside from a little wife worry & no phone, I normally wouldn't mind. The problem is that the friends' girlfriend wants to go & I think she a little crush on my husband. I've explained to him nicely, that I don't feel comfortable w/ him going w/out me. I don't think he'd cheat! We have a stable loving marriage, I just don't trust this other girl....never have.
The situation is obvious......her man doesn't have a job, has gained a lot of weight recently & in my eyes, I would never give the time of day to. On other hand, my husband is in a stable marriage w/ a career & quite more handsome. Do I let him go or am I in the right to say no???
2007-07-12 04:01:25 · 23 answers · asked by Bianca 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You say, "I don't think he'd cheat!" So what's the problem? Why do you have to trust the buddy's gf? Look at it this way: it takes two people to have sex. Without your husband's consent, the girl can't have sex with him. Therefore, it doesn't matter whether you trust her or not. It sounds to me like if you told him he couldn't go, you would be punishing your blameless husband because of this other chick's personality. That's not fair to your husband.
2007-07-12 04:08:25 · answer #1 · answered by Happy-2 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Bianca, you can't "let" him go, he's a grown man. You can explain your fears, express your wishes and then let him do what he wants. If he goes, after you have explained and expressed, well then I'd have to wonder how "stable" your marriage really is. A man who loves his wife would take these things into serious consideration, count the pros and cons of such a situation and then decide that staying home with you is the better choice. But again, you can't make this decision for him. You either trust HIM or you don't. She can do whatever she wants, but he is the one who has to be faithful to you. If he's never lied to you or given you a reason to distrust him, then trust him now to do the right thing.
2007-07-12 08:27:30 · answer #2 · answered by Brandy 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
it really all depends on the communication that you both have with each other. if you think that you can trust them both and you will feel relaxed with the situation all weekend long then let him go if you think you will spend all weekend worried then don't.
my opinion, if it were my husband... i would make the sacrifice and go with him. I HATE camping and fishing and all the outdoor stuff, but every once in a while i suck it up and go... i don't even complaint once and i have fun doing something that my hubby enjoys.
i mean if your husband is such a great man and he works so hard can't you budge a couple of days? I'm sure that he prefers you going than him going by himself with his friend and his girlfriend.
if it were just the boys then it's a different story... i say go and have fun with your husband! (but don't forget to keep an eye out for the girlfriend)
2007-07-12 04:11:13 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
if you trust him then yes let him go. he has the will power to call the other girl off if she tries something. You don't own your husband- this is what a lot of people think in one way or another. They think that they can control what the other does or will do. Thing is both of you were your own person before the marriage and you will be after the marriage. Leave it up to him and what he thinks he should do. Sounds to me that you are a little ensecue as well.
2007-07-12 04:10:21 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Just because you are insecure doesn't mean you should ruin his chances at a wonderful 4 day camping trip.
They are adults that are going, not teenagers. If you really can't trust your husband, then maybe you two need to work on that issue.
You do have the right to say no.....but what is the real reason behind it? Do you actually need him home with you for something or are you going to make him stay for an insecure and selfish reason?
2007-07-12 04:15:41 · answer #5 · answered by Kris W 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
The right thing to do would be for you to go on the trip. Take some wipes to clean up with and let the friend's girlfriend know exactly where she stands. A lot of marriages are ruined over opportunity so its perfectly acceptable for you to make sure that there never is opportunity. Don't cancel the trip for him though, that would just cause resentment.
2007-07-12 05:49:41 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
You say you trust him but not her well if he is trustworthy it don't matter what she does he will push her away... I'm not being mean here are you in the same boat as her man you know put on a few extra pounds and have a little self-esteem issues? Let him go it's not like they're going to pull a train on her, her man will be there..
2007-07-12 04:18:27 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The answer comes down to do you trust your husband? Well if you do there should be not problem with him going on a camping trip with a couple and some other friends. If you are that worried about it suck it up and go with him
2007-07-12 04:06:37 · answer #8 · answered by To The Point 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I see no problem. Unless they have a menage d'trois in mind to happen during the trip, it should be perfectly safe. The girl may just be the type to be friendly and nothing more. And there are many camping facilities now that are equipped with showers these days, maybe there's one available there. You may want to sacrifice and go just to be sure, but you say yourself he's a good man, and suggest to me that on his part he can be trusted.
2007-07-12 04:13:16 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Actually if I were that concerned, I'd go camping. I would rather be uncomfortable materialistically for 4 days than uncomfortable emotionally for 4 days (that would seem like 4 years)
Going on the trip would not only bypass a potential fight with your husband, you would show this girl who is by side and who he loves.
2007-07-12 04:07:49 · answer #10 · answered by mrsNO 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋