My guy is wonderful when he is not drinking. Problem is he drinks on a nightly basis. I know most of you will say leave him while you can but I have always been the type to try to understand peoples short comings and work around them. Last night he was awful to me and really said some hurtful things. He even looked me in the eye and didn;t care that I was full of tears over his rage. This morning I asked him how he could be so awful and he replied in honesty that he didn;t even remember being mean. How can he have regret over something he can't remember. Question is...... is it really possible that he can't remember a thing????
2007-07-12 03:28:52 · 8 answers · asked by Sunshine's Pic Is on 360 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I think what stands out in your question is when you say hes a great guy unfortunatley hes doing it on a nightly basis... so what percentage of the time is he wonderful...you sound like your very forgiving and understanding which is a terrific trait to a point... you are in a relationship...you deserve trust, respect, be treated with dignity, if he cant remember what he said to you (which i think he can he just using that as an excuse) then he is an alcholic.. nobody deserves to be put to tears and nobody should continue to be in a relationship where hurtful things are said....if your worried that you ll be alone dont be there are guys out there that love and want to find that love. just be careful not to be afraid to stand up for what you want or to get sick and tired of a bad situation if its like you say....good luck
2007-07-12 04:48:23 · answer #1 · answered by GA 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, he can have no conscious knowledge of what happened the night before.
Alcoholics, especially those on the fast road to oblivion tend to drink till they black out. A black out is when they no longer remember what they did while inebriated. This is also the time when their judgment is the most impaired.
The trend is irreversible except by the person undergoing this problem. He has to take control and he has to make the choice to stop. Until he does stop, he may say the right things, but you will become embittered and damaged emotionally trying to hang with this guy. If you think you can be that one in a million that will be able to save a drunk who doesn't want to be saved, go for it. Otherwise, you are in for a long and hard ride for the next six months to three years, or however long it takes you to value your happiness more than an alcoholic's needs.
The awful treatment will become more frequent. You will have some good times here and there, maybe enough to justify giving him "one more chance" in the morning when he apologizes to you and makes promises "it won't ever happen again", but you will be very sorry at the end of it. I speak from personal experience. If you value being a happy person and want to truly help him, then help him on his path to reclaiming his life by leaving him. Only when an alcoholic is totally abandoned do they reexamine who they are and how they came to be where they are. Delaying that process is more destructive to you both.
2007-07-12 10:44:05 · answer #2 · answered by Kevin B 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, it is possible to black out and not remember a thing. I used to black out back in high school and in college. As for your drinking boyfriend I've been there and now I'm married to him. In the beginning we were drinking buddies. Then we got pregnant and I quit, but he didn't. During my pregnancy he was awful and would say mean things that he didn't remember. I had to put my foot down and today he drinks occasionally, a few beers, but not to get drunk. The drinking might just be his age and he'll probably change as he matures and gets his priorities straight. Good luck!! I know how difficult and heart breaking this can be, but always look to the bright side!!
2007-07-12 10:38:21 · answer #3 · answered by Madmas 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, I used to black out almost every time I drank. But I was drinking ALOT every night. I have been blacked out for hours at a time. I wake up and someone would say, "You were really crazy last nite" and the last thing I remembered would be hours earlier than what they were talking about. If that is the kind of life you want to have with a drunk then stay with him. He is an alcoholic and his alcohol will always be put before you.
2007-07-12 10:37:11 · answer #4 · answered by malibu30 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah, a lot of people can't remember the night before a lot of alcohol! But if he is drinking every night he has a problem. 1st I would say talk to him about that, my grandfather was an alcoholic and he died at 55 never getting to know any of his grandchildren. Also, a lot of times people bring out their true selves when they are drunk since they don't fear anything. You need to think about yourself. Talk to him about it and if he idn't open to changing and drinking less, you need to start worrying about what will happen next time, and don't let it.
2007-07-12 10:34:49 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes it's possible to not remember .First thing to understand is that he is sick and the second thing to know is that u are sick also .alcoholism is a sickness and an alcoholic usually makes the other person sick blaming them for their drinking and asking them to understand them and their emotional roller coaster
2014-08-30 14:09:51 · answer #6 · answered by Toker 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, he truly can't remember but you can, and you should run while you can. It's one thing to be tolerant of someone's shortcoming and another thing to be a fool, and if you think he will change, you're on the wrong side of the line.
2007-07-12 10:39:25 · answer #7 · answered by Jess 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you marry him he will beat you breakup now he can remember everything it has happend to 4 or so of my friends
please get some help
2007-07-12 10:34:16 · answer #8 · answered by mike 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋