Hi everyone. I am posting my question in this section because I know Ill get feed back from other women who know what I am talking about. I am currently 11 weeks pregnant as of today and almost 2 year married. Things with my husband have been real rocky the past few weeks. Ive tried talking to him about whats wrong but he always tells me "NOTHING". Last night when he got home from work within minutes he was being snappy... all I did was ask why he didnt call me to let me know he was working late. After he freaked out I asked him what was wrong and to just be honest with me. He then stood up and scrame "ITS THIS PREGNANCY. THATS WHATS WRONG". I had no clue what to say. I just started crying because I was under the understanding that we BOTH wanted this child. We ended up "talking" for over 3 hours and he blames all our problems on me being pregnant. I dont know what to do or say to him. I cried myelf to sleep and today I dont even want to see him. What should I do?
2007-07-12 03:19:32 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
Besides him saying that all our problems are because of this pregnancy, what I think hurt the most was that I asked him what he wanted from me, if he wanted the "package" that I am now offering (being pregnant with HIS kid)... he said he didnt know anymore.
2007-07-12 03:42:53 · update #1
my bf when i was prego all he did was thow up and have moody swing maybe it due to you all been pg sometime it men that get the side effects !! good luck
2007-07-12 03:25:19 · answer #1 · answered by claudia351 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I believe we are going through the same thing here! Though I am not married, I have been with my b/f for 3 1/2 years and I am 4 months pregnant now. It's unbelieveable how bad guys get stressed out, especially when there is a baby on the way. I don't think I'll ever understand how their brains work but on the other hand, you have options. If you don't want to see him, stay somewhere else for a few days or ask him to leave. He's not the only one who is stressed out, you have alot going on too. Like me, you have to think about the baby growing inside of you and if you hurt, the baby hurts. I'm sure you've heard that a number of times. You need to think about what you really want right now and act on it. I wish you guys the best and I hope things get better. God knows I'm going through the same thing right now and I feel like I'm going to LOSE it any second now.
2007-07-12 12:08:40 · answer #2 · answered by Krystal 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all it is normal for some "soon to be dads" to feel overwhelmed with the whole pregnancy thing. My husband has had some moments in the past 7 months where it seemed as though the pregnancy wasn't as great as he had thought...however we talked about it and he would feel better. Maybe take some time away (weekend) go stay with a relative or family friend give him some space and then talk about it. If you made the choice to get pregnant together then he needs to realize that this pregnancy is not something to be upset over, and there is no turning back. You also need to take care of yourself and remain calm.......stressing out and being upset is no good to this baby.
2007-07-12 10:26:02 · answer #3 · answered by Sara M 2 · 6⤊ 0⤋
You poor thing. Neither you or the baby need the extra stress at the moment.Maybe he is up tight about the new responsibilities that are coming his way.Don't let it bring you down too much, tomorrow he should have thought about his stupidity and be open with his apology that better be dam good!! Give him space for a few days (even though this is the time you want them around the most). he should come to his senses, just he may not express matters in the appropriate ways.. Hang in there sweety, stay strong.I'm going through the same situation!
2007-07-12 10:30:12 · answer #4 · answered by Honey 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're going to have to talk straight with him. Maybe he's having trouble facing up to the responsibility of becoming a parent? That is a scary issue for some men ...maybe he's using the pregnancy as a cover-up and he's really feeling guilty because he's having an affair if things are rocky with you? Only he can answer that but the truth is you ARE pregnant and you can't send it back; he's just going to have to accept it and support you or take the coward's way out and leave
2007-07-12 10:31:55 · answer #5 · answered by anabelezenith 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
hes scared..my husband was the same way ..our son was planned ..i mean we went to my ob and talked about all of our options on trying to get pregnant and she told us it could take up to a year.. well we got pregnant the first time trying and we were so excited .but i could see over time my husband was the same as yours ..snappy..and i would ask him whats wrong and his answer would be if we would have waited for the baby..we wouldnt have to worry about things...i would cry my self to sleep too..and make him take back alot of things he would say b.c i was afraid something was gonna happen while i was pregnant with my son..but over time , and him going to the sonograms with me and , hearing the heart beat he started to change and made a 180..still a little snappy..and once our son came it changed him so much this time a full 360 turn around....i couldnt ask for my husband to be any better..he is totally happy and i love watching him with my son..i tell you that bringing our son into the world made our lives so much better and not a care in the world...give your hubby some time..he is still tryin to soak in the fact that you are actually pregnant and its real instead of just talking about it and planning it..try not asking what is wrong ..my husband did tell me that guys get annoyed by that ....just let him think and trust me he will come around...it just takes some time..i wish you the best of luck ..congrats..
2007-07-12 10:30:10 · answer #6 · answered by ~Ashley~ 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No one will be able to tell you what to do at the end of the day it will be your decision to make.
I can understand that he is scared and plain right petrified of having a baby, I was too. I cried myself to sleep some nights and my husband was ecstatic....
It might take a while for him to get used to the idea of becoming a dad.
Let me tell you it´s the best thing that ever happened to me, it´s hard financially and physically but at the end well worth it.
2007-07-12 10:26:43 · answer #7 · answered by Ladybird 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
my boyfriend was crabby cakes for 1 day, and i said WTF is your problem! and he told me that he was feeling anxious and upset about the pregnancy, so we talked it out and now things are better because we are BOTH commuicating our fears, expectations, and just feelings in general.
now in saying that, my b/f did NOT blamed everything on me, and when he was addressed, we talked about the sitiatuion.
first things first, worry about your child. 2nd, ask yourself if your husband has been like this during any point of your relationship, and if so, then that's your husband and you need decide if you want to remain in this marriage.
now, if this is all unusual behavior, then maybe he is anxious aobut the pregnancy. if he is anxious, then ask him if he would like to talk about, if he doesn not want to talk and continues his accusations and hostily, then i strongly suggest you stay will loving friends and/or family during this time and figure out if you want your child to live in such a hostile enviornment...because life gets even crazier AFTER the kid is born and if he cant hack it now, then he's got no chance in the future. good luck
2007-07-12 10:31:31 · answer #8 · answered by happypants 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey i think you might want to see a therapist. the both of you. in the mean time if he is upsetting you that is not good for the baby you need to get out and stay with a good friend or a family member till things settle down he might just realize what he is missing :~(
good luck to you and God Bless
2007-07-12 10:28:02 · answer #9 · answered by Mitza 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
look men get like this all the time....dont stress over it. my hubby got like this when i was prego w all of my kids. dont worry urself hes just realizing that he's going to have a big responsablity. just pamper him, his like another 5 yr old that u have to take care of. thats what i did and u know what he loved it!!!
pamper him now that ur pregnant because u wont be able to when u have ur baby.
2007-07-12 10:26:11 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
omg! girl okidoki...first of all! plzz dont blame anything on the baby! and go threw with the pregnancy! hes just probably nervous becuz hes gonna be a dad! i hope! u see i know becuz my parents went threw this, my mom told me all about it! but as soon as that baby is born it is going to change both of ur lifes forver!
2007-07-12 10:25:46 · answer #11 · answered by NATALiiE ANN♥ 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋