I am constantly turned away from my husband sexually. I am feeling frustrated and angry and resentful and hurt..etc.. he "teases meby saying oh lets make love tonight i;m horney so i fall for it and i say ok! i am too it has been a while and when nightfall comes, he rejects me when i remind him it is time for some love...and he pulls away and/or will make sure he has a few beers and has an"excuse" for not wanting to have sex with me. i am not ugly either. oh as a matter of fact i sale cars at a new dealership and i am the only woman there and u would think he would be a little jealous,,but no he is not..he actually seems like he wants to give me away like i am not good enough. i feel hurt and confused as to why he will not make love to me. he used to want to make luv to his ex all of the time but with me, he balks if we do it 1 time a week! and he makes sure he does it fast enough to where i do not have any pleasure then he finishes and rolls over and goes to sleep and tells me scram.
2007-07-12 01:49:43 · 23 answers · asked by NEWPORT BEACH GIRL 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
he does not have erectile dysfuntion either...he gets hard and when he is i touch him but he slaps my hand away!! what does that mean too???
2007-07-12 02:02:00 · update #1
He is jealous of the position you hold at the dealership. You're the only woman there and he knows the other guys will be looking.
Pretend your not interested in him, give him the cold shoulder for a while to see if that works.
2007-07-12 01:55:42 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Here's the problem. Your husband is having an erectile disfunction issue and is embarrassed to talk to you about it, so he hides it by dismissing you later in the night, or using beer is a scape goat. He may have times where he gets horney and wants sex right then and right there but those are normally inopportune times, by the time the night comes along he cannot become erect on demand so he makes up the kind of excuses a guy would make up, usually something dismissive.
OK, if it's not an erectile issue then he is simply not turned on by you and that's why he's just hitting it and quitting it. It's like a job or work, he's just puttin in his time. Doesn't mean he doesn't love you it just means, he's not sexually turned on by you.
2007-07-12 01:59:04 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If things have always been this way, than I am not sure why you married him in the first place. If things were not this way when you first got together and the sex issue has just recently started, than I would sit down and have a very serious and honest conversation with him. Find out why he is neglecting you in the bedroom. It could be that he is not attracted to you that way anymore or he could be seeing someone else. Neither scenario is not good. If he refuses to make more of an effort to satisfy you, then it may be time to move on.
2007-07-12 02:00:17 · answer #3 · answered by bluemysti 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would stop confusing love with sex. Sex is a physically pleasurable activity, not an expression of love. I wouldn't blame myself for this problem.
I would talk to him and ask him what's up and why he is no longer interested in sex? For most people a lack of interest in sex is related to a medical problem something like depression or sexual dysfunction. If that were my findings, I would suggest he see a doctor or therapist for some help.
I would let him know that I'm a woman and I have sexual needs and that masturbation isn't nearly as exciting as getting it on with him. We could talk further.
2007-07-12 01:58:54 · answer #4 · answered by qwertatious 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have no children, i would walk away. He has issues and its hurting you as well. Either talk to him and tell him how you feel and try to find a solution, or talk to him and explain that since a solution has yet to be found, and let him know you are leaving. If he really loves you then he will be willing to work on it. Good luck and i hope you dont have a husband that is so wrapped up in the past he cant see his present.
2007-07-12 02:05:58 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
fast enough so that you do not get any pleasure? lol; he may not be that good, or can't hold out but I doubt it's fast enough so that you do not get yours. few of us can last long enough for a woman to get hers; perhaps he just isn't doing enough BEFORE he actually commences, I mean there are things he can do. but we do want to, it's better for us and it's nice to see that happen for the woman, whether we like her or not. i doubt that part is personal.
as far as him wanting his ex more; what was the nature of this relationship with his ex, did they get married, was it even a real relationship or just a relationship of a more physical nature? the bottom line is that he just isn't in touch with your needs, and if there is something else bothering him, or something going on he needs to let you know about it. is it his ex? you need to find out.
2007-07-12 02:00:46 · answer #6 · answered by collard greens with hash browns 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is this the same man who said he would "honor and cherish" you? In sickness and health? What's up with him? Do you not have communication with your husband? Talk to him, find out what's going on. If he can't even make love to you, why are you still there? It's called making love for a reason...it's about LOVE. Talk to him and talk to him again until you understand what the problem is. If you can't fix it, move on. Are you sure he's not gay? Good luck.
2007-07-12 02:01:00 · answer #7 · answered by floridagirl1261 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why would you want to make love to someone that treats you like this? Is he having sex somewhere else? You need counseling in order to deal with this, and find out what is at the root of the problem. You can only get treated like this if you allow it to happen.
2007-07-12 02:05:09 · answer #8 · answered by LIPPIE 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dump his @ss NOW! Men who act like that aren't interested in a relationship, they only want a roommate. My first husband was like that. But don't wish for a jealous man, you just may get one, and believe me-I'd take a roommate any day over a jealous husband any day. Jealousy is sweet at first, until they start blaming you for things you haven't done.
2007-07-12 01:57:11 · answer #9 · answered by gypsy g 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you've got toys, use them. When he wants some, cut him off. Completely..... Make him go a month or two without any and then tell him how much of an *** he was to you. If none of this bothers him then he's probably with someone else, or doesn't want to be with you anymore.
2007-07-12 02:00:02 · answer #10 · answered by weazel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋