i want to hear other's opinion before i make my decision..ASAP?

Question

i really love my b/f,tell me what love means,whether love is a feeling or a choice...but since we started living together since he visits me for the second time which is much longer than the first time,it seems like a lot of things change.Not about my love for him but in some things. I wonder if how much understanding and patience i would give to him, he is harsh everytime i woke him up,[we are running an internet cafe] for customer transaction he always get mad coz he said one transaction is not worth waking up early,and at the end of the day when our sales is very small he always complain.not only that..i am the one who is doing all the task at home[laundry,cooking except sometimes when he feels to do it,and cleaning the house]i'm also the one going to every places related to the business since i know much of the places here...i'm trying to adjust and understand him more but it seems like it's always like these,i think sometimes that what is use of loving him if i always get hurt.

Answer 1

Wow, that's really a one sided end of the story. I guess I should share my one sided story as well. I have invested a lot of my time and my money starting back in Jan. of this year. I purchased 20 cpu sets in the US, spent time programming each one, shipped them all the way to the other side of the world(the Philippines). This business was meant to be for my g/f and her son. Just trying to provide her with a way of making decent money when minimum wage in this country is $2 a day. I then fly over here in May and help set up the business. Yes, she has to go with me to most places we need to contact because I don't speak Cebueno. She usually cooks because either her or her son never eat what I make. She does the laundry by hand even when she has a washing machine. I told her I can just throw the clothes in there but she insists they don't get clean enough unless she does it by hand. Yes, I get irritated in the morning when woken up because it is I who usually closes the business at midnight when yours truly has already been sleeping for two hours. She does not know anything about computers. I am the one who fixes all the problems throughout the day so it's not like I don't do anything. I guess we need to reevaluate not only the business but our relationship...I didn't realize having the luxury to work out of your house and make more than half the people in your country could be such a chore, as well as living with me.

Answer 2

With a few changes I have heard this before. But it is a classic. But for those who will complain let’s try this: In the late 60’s LBJ presented his Great Society that had a number of objectives but two were Medicare and Medicade and the war on poverty. In 4 years after its introduction the cost of health care rose in this country by some 400% In the time since the war on poverty we have spent over $6 trillion. The poverty rate at the time was around 10%. Today and since the rate has not changed or varied more than 3% and is still around 10%, (depending if you talk to Dems who think we should all have 5 cars and 6 TVs). But it isn’t about the GOP or the Dems, it’s about the Federal Government was not designed to operate this way. It’s something so very few understand in this day and age. chas Skeptic: “Universal health coverage is not socialism, its the norm among Western nations.” Which explains why those who still have money left, after their outrageous taxes, come here if they really need first class healthcare. I don’t want you people to go away mad, just go away.

Answer 3

Love is a feeling, and its supposed to be mutual.

I once read a book that analyzed what romantic love is. I'll always remember how the professional who wrote the book said that genunine love ALWAYS has to have mutual respect and admiration.

Your boyfriend sounds like he has some problem. Whether that's got anything to do with you or whether he's just miserable and not bothering to hide his feelings, you need to sit up and take notice. What he's doing isn't a good sign.

I'm not saying your situation is verbally/emotionally abusive YET (or that it will become abusive), but listen to yourself saying how you're trying to adjust and understand him more. Women who are on the receiving end of emotional/verbal abuse (as well as physical abuse - but that's not the issue here) tend to ask what they can do to make the situation better.

I'm not saying your situation is abusive, but abusive behavior begins once couples get married or live together. The guy gets freed up to stop being nice and act the way he wants to. Emotional or verbal abuse can escalate to physical abuse too.

You shouldn't be "trying to adjust and understand him more". You need to take a cold, hard, look at your relationship and ask if there's a chance its abuse.

Do a search for "verbal abuse" and "emotional abuse". Look up the definition, the signs, and the ways a woman get tell if she's in such a situation.

If you're not, great.

Answer 4

I see these problems:

1) You are living together. That's not "love," it is lust. You may lust a LOT after him so you THINK it is love. Take a "chill pill" and I'll bet a lot of the other "problems" will become a lot more clear.

2) You are sleeping together AND trying to run a business together. There is no commitment in your personal life, so why are you thinking there will be a commitment in your business life?

Catch the vision: you are in a lose/lose situation. Pick up the pieces you want to keep and move on.

Answer 5

He is using you and you are letting him. Tell him you love him but living together is just not going to work out unless there are some changes made. Set some ground rules. About sharing the housework (you are working too!) and when to wake him up, etc. If he loves you and wants it to work, he will compromise. If he doesn't then he wants a housekeeper, lover, and dedicated employee.

It's only going to get worse unless you nip it in the bud now. Love is two people sharing their life. It is not one that is boss and the other slave.

Answer 6

He is using you to do everything for him. He is not a man, because he would want to help you, if he truly loved you. "We" are not running an internet cafe, "You" are running the internet cafe. Move on and finds someone that respects you enough to want to assist you with all of the things you have to do. You certain don't need him, he is useless.

Answer 7

you answered your own question. you always get hurt so whats the use of loving him? none but your own choice and choices are capable of being changed so i suggest you alert him of this at first. if he doest comply then move on. then know that he aint worth your time and love. say goodbye to his sorry behind. its good that now you know who he is when he is in his domain. so take this lesson and upgrade your relationship expectations for the next time you get involved with someone

Answer 8

oh my god. tell him to get off his lazy a** and start helping u around the house and business. if doesn't like it he needs to take a hike. he wanted to move in with u now he needs to step it up.

Answer 9

you should tell him. you do understand him. appreciate everything he does. meant more when you ' re a least expected it. All he does need is your understanding, and supporting him. you are not giving him, the support,and understanding he needs.