I have a 28yo daughter very pretty hard working and smart. But needs an outside opinion on her behavior. She had her first unwed child at 16 and the next at 17 (11 months) different father, the next one 2 years later this time in a committed relationship married him after the child was born and then had another with him. They divorced after about 5 total years together and now has given birth to another child from a different father whom has left the building. So she has 2 sons who are for the most part with out dads and can't understand why she is having problems with the oldest. She sees nothing wrong with bringing kids into the world fatherless. I have been at her house when there has been 2 to 4 suitors at the same time.
I think it's selfish. She isn't teaching the family values I feel need to be addressed.
What would you say to her if on your first date she told you she had 5 kids from 4 fathers and had been married once?
2007-07-11 17:30:32 · 17 answers · asked by S h 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I'd say my daughter the ....one i love no matter what....i no the situation sucks and you may not approve of these things, but you can't change these things now, this is how it is, and all you can do is tell her how you feel and hope the best for her, she does need to get on some type of birth control until she finds the one man she is for sure gonna settle down with, but we all make mistakes, and i don't belive in having alot of kids with different men and all, but this is how her life went and you just have to love her and deal with whats happening now, putting her down and griping at her about it won't help, these kids do need a father figure in there life, or just there mother, not a bunch of men hanging around, it is the wrong way to raise them and she is in for butt loads more trouble with the other kids, apparently the older one is already angry about the situation, she needs to be alone for awhile or date one at a time until she can settle donw, and sounds crazy but my brother is dating some one who has four kids from different men and that dosn't bother him, her past is her past, and one day she'll find someone who'll love her no matter how bad things went back them, they'll love her for her, not the things she did, so have faith in her, stand by her side , doesn't mean you have to agree with her desisions, but she needs her mom.
2007-07-11 17:38:25 · answer #1 · answered by Nita and Michael 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I understand where you are coming from. She will see the light eventually I think. When her kids start to get old enough to ask questions about why so many different Daddies. I know it will be a little too late by then to do any thing about but just hope and pray that she is smart enough not to have any more. Is there a family friend that might have a greater influence on her by talking with her about her ways? Lets face it Girls don't always want to take moms advice even if it is the right thing to do. For some reason they feel they should do the exact opposite. You did say she was a hard worker and smart so I am assuming she can take care of all of these children on her own? I would seriously get someone to talk to her about family values and the impact that having strange men around children all of the time can have on them. It sounds to me like she is paying more attention to the men than her children. If it has gotten to a neglectful level then the proper authorities should be notified. Maybe if the men situation were out of the picture she wouldn't be having the behavioral problems she has with her oldest child. Maybe suggest counseling for the kids if she wont do that then, If they are in school call the school and tell the someone at the school what is going on and have someone there talk to the kids and get them a school councilor to work with. With a little luck and some prayer maybe it will all work out for the best.
2007-07-11 17:53:26 · answer #2 · answered by susan_skinner2000 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To be completely honest with you. It will be a challenge for any decent guys to take her seriously. I mean, there is nothing wrong with raising a child without a father. I am a single mom myself, raising a 9 year old son. But, I do not see myself having another baby, if I don't find a decent guy that I will settle down with. It is not an easy task to raise a child, let alone the 5 kids that she has. I do have to agree with you in saying that she is selfish, and inconsiderate. Once you have kids, your life is not really about you anymore, it's all about the kids and what would be best for the kids. But some girls, do not really understand this. I understand your concern, but there is really not much you can do. Your daughter will live her life the way she wants. Let's just hope that she will not have anymore kids, and that she will take care of all her childrens needs, and not just hers. She needs a lot of Growing Up to do.
2007-07-11 17:53:03 · answer #3 · answered by always51787 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Does she live in a trailer park? she sounds like someone who is a druggie and a drunk. how else would you do the same thing over and over and these guys are obviously not taking her serious. This woman needs GOD in her life did she have her father in her life? where did she learn that this behavior and felt that it is OK? too many question I would ask myself. I am not blaming you but it sounds that she comes from a broken home herself. is she prostituting herself? she needs help and it may be too far from your hands to help her. Like I said you need to Get her to church or have a pastor talk to her and make her see that she is hurting all those kids with her ugliness.
2007-07-11 17:55:38 · answer #4 · answered by Angela 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I'm not a guy...but if I was a guy on a date with her & found that out, I'd run the other way. She's trouble with a capital T.
She really needs to figure out that raising kids by yourself is difficult...and it's costly to the child.
SG
2007-07-11 17:38:03 · answer #5 · answered by StacieG 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I am a woman, therefore I would not be on a date with her. However, I would hope that a man would look at that situation and not get involved. It sounds like she needs to straighten herself and her views out for her children's sake before she drags another man into this cycle.
2007-07-11 17:43:02 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
I'm sorry but your daughter is a selfish whore. She obviously doesn't care about her children only for herself. She need to except the fact that she is a grown woman no and that she needs to start acting like one. All she cares about is about having fun, she has no self-respect what-so-ever.
2007-07-11 17:36:00 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
Guess you have been busy.
Then thoughtfully start to think what the problem is and If I want to invest any time
2007-07-11 17:35:39 · answer #8 · answered by curious6710 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
is new generation in north America most of them like kid's looks like old enough for relationship but mental are like kids because so much nasty programs on are TV sorry this is end of the world if I had kid i move them in other's part of the world. where the Hollywood TV and western life not there
2007-07-11 17:49:26 · answer #9 · answered by stop canada. 1 · 0⤊ 3⤋
I'd be hauling a**s the other way. Simple fact: the way she is running around I would not chance it when her because of of HIV, AIDS and STD's.
2007-07-11 17:49:27 · answer #10 · answered by JUAN FRAN$$$ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋