Do you think there is something wrong with my English in this sentence?

Question

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Hi Mike, on 6 July, I received bank transfer in the amount of Rp. 1,000,000. Was that by chance coming from you?

Answer 1

Mike,

On July 6th, I received a bank transfer in the amount of Rp. 1,000,000. Did this come from you? If not, would you have record of who it came from?

Thanks for your help.

Answer 2

This is how I would write it:

Hi Mike,

On July 6, I received a bank transfer in the amount of Rp. 1,000,000. Did that come from you by any chance?

In America, we say the month then the day, not the way you did it.

Answer 3

Hi Mike. On 6 July I received a bank transfer in the amount of Rp. 1,000,000. By chance, did that come from you?

Answer 4

You might simplify the two sentences into one. Thus you could say. Did the bank transfer that I received on July 6 in the amount of Rp. 1,000,000 come from you?
Simple is always best.

Answer 5

This is how I would do it:

Hi Mike,

On 6 July, I recieved a bank transfer at a value of 1 000 000 Rp. Was that, by any chance, from you?

Answer 6

Looks good to me. Though there should be an "a" between "received" and "bank" so it should read "I received a bank transfer..."

The only other thing I personally would do is change the last sentence a little to read "Was that coming from you by chance?" That's just a personal preference though. The way you have it is fine also.

Answer 7

"Dear Mike, On July 6th, I received a bank transfer in the amount of Rp. 1,000,000. Did this come from you? Please advise."

Answer 8

you need an "a" between recieved and bank

Answer 9

It is fine. except On needs a capt.