Why do people use their disability as a crutch?

Question

People in wheelchairs, crutches, and people that have other disabilities often use their disability to escape the normal parts of life. Many of them live near as long as a regular person, life doesn't need to move any faster. They won't die from waiting in line now will they? Autistic children go to school, don't they?

I don't treat disabled people any different way than I would anyone else. I have an autistic cousin who is very advanced in musical talents. I go to all of his concerts because I truly enjoy them! I am talking about people who make excuses with their disability, when they shouldn't have to.

Answer 1

Because our society doesn't care to inclde them.

You see and hear it every time you leave your home. The condescending looks--the people veering the other way so they don't have to get near you.

The humiliation of having some jerk who knows half what you do being promoted over your head--if you can even get a job, despite being more than qualified.

It hurts. Every day. Ad you go home and cry. And--after a while--it jsut gets to be too much--so you stay home.

I've been there--and made myself fight back. I got out, got an education--and earn a good living. But it still hurts. Every day
I don't get out there to "have a life"--I want nothing to do with the "normal world" that is nothing but bigotry and exclusion. I get out to take it on and beat it--to get what I want for my life. But I don't fault anyone who choose not to. They cope as best they can..

Do you have any idea how much I hate the arrogant SOB's that tell people with disabilities, don't use your disability as a crutch?" making judgements without knowing anything about us?

Answer 2

A lot of disabled people are taught and socialized to use their disability as a crutch, sometimes it is a good excuse, other times it's crap.

And being disabled naturally means you can't really function in real life, no matter how hard you try.

Another reason why they may use it as a crutch is because some have a victim mentality or a lazy man's mentality. But not all disabled people take advantage of their disability there's some that prefer not to and live as normal as possible.

And yes, autistic children do go to school like many other disabled children, sometimes these children go to special schools or stay all day in special classes.

I'm not really sure what other reason disabled people get to cut in line, I'm not in a wheelchair but I'm physically disabled and the times I went to theme parks and places like that, I never got to cut in line, and I didn't know whether I could or not. And if you ask me I'd rather not cut in line.

Answer 3

you say that people with disabilities use it as a crutch , well let me ask you how would you feel if Every day you are in a chair and cant get in the bed or uses the rest room or just go in the gas station without help or when everthang that could make you life a little better you cant afford because your stuck getting 325 a week for the rest of your life and the only handicap apartment you can get is $1100 a month and so the say that your dedit ratio is to high to get a car or a house the van is over $60,000 and insurance say that will not approve it and when you go out you are not eye level so people behide counter don't help you and everyone stairs at you a want move out of the way and people that aren't even handicap park in the spots and the police do nothen about it and this are just some of the thang that us in chairs deal with i mean i cant even go to the movies because the stadium seating so the only spot is so close you see the eyes of the people on screen and don't even try to get around in a department store or mall stores and let me tell you after all this i don't use my handicap as a crutch so why don't you try being in our shoes for a month you might just have a change in the tude have

Answer 4

I have a friend who at the age of 10 developed sever arthritis in 80% of his joints. He doesn't use crutches or wheelchairs and if you encountered him on the street you'd think he was as "Normal" as any other person. On the other hand if he stands or works hard for prolonged periods of time he is wracked with pain. A trip to the grocery store is like a marathon of physical torture, 5 minuets in line can often mean the difference between being in enjoying the evening with friends or being in bed pain ridden for the rest of the night.

He has a geniuses IQ and is a competent computer programmer, yet he is repeatedly denied jobs because he can't move boxes of computer paper or may have to take a break after prolonged periods of work. He works for substantially less then his peers because he is passed over for any job that might require physical activity. As an example he was denied a supervisor position because the HR department stated the job required standing on ones feet for long periods of time and walking from cubical to cubical, he was the most senior programmer and had the support of most of the department, this didn't change the fact he didn't get the job, job he could have performed because of a bias placed on him by "normal" people.

Knowing this has lead me to understand that while all those empty handicap parking spots may be annoying when you are looking for a parking place at X-mass or how it seems so wrong that handicapped people get discounted bus fair or get on plains before everyone else, that these things are in place because there are real obstacles standing in the way of many handicapped people.

Answer 5

Unfortunatly some people do abuse the disability thing, and unfortunately, it can imbitter people that witness that abuse.

An yes, some people escape some of their normal life.

I think the bigest thing we experience while disabled, is LOSS. We lose self respect, loss of friends, feel wierd in social situations, suffer loss in relationships, loss of control over our lives. Part of that loss makes us try to escape. Try to add something back in, something somewhere that helps us feel better about our situation.

We're not perfect. Maybe we're just more noticed for one.

I would give anything not to have been hit by that drunk driver 10 years ago, not to have gone through 11 operations so far. As things disintegrate, I will be in a motorized wheelchair probably next year or so.

For now it's 24hour morphene, vicodin and oxy just to keep me sane. Please pardon me when I do something wrong. But stop and tell me. I'm still a person, maybe a little crazy now, but I'm trying.

Oh, and try doing everything with a wheelchair sometime, it's like carrying a 40pound knapsack, and in my case, painful for each turn of the wheel. A little kindness to shorten the load is a very nice gesture.

Former navy officer (subs), business owner, college teacher, and Sheriff department.

Answer 6

Maybe the part where you say that they are escaping the normal parts of life, life isn't normal for them. And if don't have a disability that you stated like being in a wheelchair, or having crutches, then you cannot understand. Because they are not normal; normal being the standard of society, OF COURSE THEY WOULD WANT TO ESCAPE IT!!! Listen, in some essence I agree with you, they should not use it as a crutch to escape. But if you are talking about waiting in line for something, just suck it up. YOU won't die from waiting a little longer in line now will you? If you think about it, you are being very selfish in thinking that they are just like people with nondisabilities, so they should have every standard of people with nondisabilities. Think about some stuff peope with disabilities can't, or never will be able to do what normal people can.

And since when has living as long as regular people been the measuring bar of the standard of life. Life itself it not about how long you live, but how you live.And if living with an intemper against just waiting in line while other less fortunate people go ahead of you, then I feel sorry for you..,.

Answer 7

Have you, personally, ever been in a wheelchair, on crutches or unable to see/hear, etc? I don't think you have. Because if you had, you wouldn't say such cruel things.

I used to think like you, but then I was in a wheelchair due to a fractured foot one day. I was a teenager and my family was spending the weekend in Orlando, FL (with all the theme parks) I fractured a bone in my foot while walking around Epcot. The next day, we went to Seaworld. I honestly could barely hobble so we rented a wheelchair for the day. It was the worst experience of my life! I used to think that people in wheelchairs had it made. Boy, was I wrong!

Yeah, I got to sit up front for all the shows and I was always one of the first people to be admitted. But the pitying and sometimes resentful stares of people really scared me. There were times I wanted to see things, but people just stood in front of me. I couldn't stand up like I would have been able to if my foot didn't hurt so bad. My mother asked some people to please move to the side a little and they would say things like, "She shouldn't be in a wheelchair, then." It wasn't like they would be missing out on anything if they moved to the side a little.

After that experience, I stopped judging people in wheelchairs and began to treat them the way I would have liked to have been treated. So many people think that the disabled get "special" treatment. They don't. When you are at a severe disadvantage, you need a little extra help to be equal. What's wrong with that? Don't we live in a civilized society where the members help each other out? This is no longer the "survival of the fittest" caveman days where those who can't keep up are left behind.

Answer 8

What you say is a gross generalisation and you are mixing different issues about disability and daily life.
Your question sounded like you have been personally inconvenient by someone in a wheelchair once and you think everyone with any disability is all the same. How wrong you are.

I have a very good friend who is in a power wheelchair. He sits at home and gets everyone around him to do EVERYTHING for him. But that is not because he is lazy. It is because he really really CAN NOT do anything - not even wiping his own bum. Can you imagine how undignify he must feel to have someone do this for him? It's not because he uses his condition as a cruthch. He simply has no strength to do anything. (And don't say "why doesn't he go get therapy and exercise to get strength?" - He has muscular dystrophy. He is literally wasting away and NO therapy will make him stronger)

Most of us here are willing to answer your question but I think you need to think about what you are asking, get your facts right and ask it with a better attitude.

Cheers

Answer 9

Before you judge why don't you do it for a day? You can rent a wheelchair from most medical supply stores. Go to the mall, or into town to pay some bills. Or get a pair of crutches from the thrift store and use them ALL day. Come back and tell us how your experiences are. I don't mean sitting at home all day either. Go about the "normal parts of life" with your new found devices. I'd love to hear how it goes....

Answer 10

Zorak says, "Perhaps you are confusing someone with an addiction, like alcoholism or drug addiction with a person with a physical or mental disability. There is a difference. If you are not, and referring to people with a physical and/or mental impairment, then I wonder just how advanced you yourself are in society and life for making such a statement. What do you mean, "escape the normal parts of life"? Can someone who has to spend the majority of his life dependent on assistance from others because he can't totally function his own body going to live just as long? Really? Do you know the stats on persons with disabilites? Would you not like to be an independent person? Obviously, you probably have not read all of this, nor am I going to continue, because it is apparent by the nature of this "question" you have major self-esteem and maturity issues. You are just wanting a reaction. yeah, you will probably report me.. The young lady who gave you the proper response is my hero. You...are a waste of breath."