He is starting to act strangely.. he used to act agressive, when he would drink alcohol, so he quit drinking about 3 years ago.. now he is starting to get agressive again and I don't know what to do about it.
He is in councelling, and maybe the old wounds being exposed are causing him to act this way but I don't know what is wrong with him, so I'm wondering if maybe you could help me.
Example: yesterday, we were arguing, and he all of a sudden started talking about how he's going to "snap off" and he's had it, and he doesnt know what he wants right now, he sais he can't deal with life right now, he got so angry that he put a hole in the wall with his HEAD!! and then he left, and drove to a friends house, I was soooo worried because I didnt know where he'd gone, and he didnt take his cell, anyway.. that is done now.. but today when he came home from work he said he can't deal with life right now and he just wanted to go to bed. He's been sleeping all afternoon and he will all night.
2007-07-11 13:45:13 · 12 answers · asked by Butterfly 3 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
He sais he loves us (we have two kids) and he doesnt know what he wants right now but he just wants to be left alone, and not thinking.
I don't know how to help him. I think I will call his dr. but he has yet to be diagnosed, this behaviour seems to come and go..
Any advice?
2007-07-11 13:47:19 · update #1
you have to worry about you and your children.....you can't enable him and you can't accept unacceptable behavior....you must protect yourself and your children....start worrying about how your finances are especially if he's going to snap....by all means, talk to his doctor, and if there's a support group, join it. It's called tough love and if he does decide to take the roller coaster ride down to the hell of active alcoholism, YOU and YOUR children don't have to go, too. It's called choices....make the right ones.
2007-07-11 13:56:51 · answer #1 · answered by miatalise12560 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Listen, it's not just that this guy has aggression issues, its that he sounds like he's just down right frustrated with his life, and unfortunately, you're a part of that - and it's not that you're making his life miserable, because it's a personal choice as to how we control our own attitudes and behaviors, but it just sounds like he's feeling "really" unfulfilled in some area of his life and that's making him REALLY aggitated. Sounds to me like if the counselor he's seeing right now isn't helping (and if he's still putting his head through a wall, its safe to say this counselor is not), then maybe he needs some space. I don't know, I think you need to worry about your own safety and the safety of your children first and let him sort himself out on his own. Some things people just have to do alone, so if it were me, I'd just let him be and try not to push him for any answers just yet....and maybe just focus on you for a change. I've been in relationships that became "unhealthy" and it's usually unhealthy b/c one or both of you feel trapped by the relationship. I'm guessing he feels this way too - afterall, you said "boyfriend" and you have two kids together. Maybe its time to honestly answer the question about 'why' you're not 'married' yet. It may not produce the answer you want, but it may lead you to a happier life if both of you finally answer that question honestly. Its just my opinion. Best wishes to you and good luck!
2007-07-11 14:04:44 · answer #2 · answered by DewIT 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You started by mentioning that he is "starting to act strangely," like this either doesn't happen often or it is the first time.
A previous answerer mentioned that it might be bi-polar. I don't know much about and it might be worth checking out anyway.
Another alternative which you can consider is dietary. There have been studies linking deficiencies of trace metals (zinc, copper etc) in our diets to violent or aggressive behaviour. Maybe you can get your boyfriend to try some multi-vitamin/mineral supplements first. If, as you say, his counselling sessions are stressing him, then trace metals may lessen the aggression. The good thing is that he is getting counselling.
2007-07-11 14:08:52 · answer #3 · answered by Brain Tickler 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
It appears your bf is frustrated due to his job or profession, and sometimes the thought of not being able to earn a decent livelihood in the future and support his wife and children, haunt him. Maybe if your financial condition is not so good, this theory could be correct. Be gentle, be reassuring that things will work out for the better.
2007-07-13 21:10:32 · answer #4 · answered by wizard of the East 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he might have some childhood issues that remain unresolved (he hasn't dealt with them yet). Possible child abuse, neglect or abandoned (i.e. adopted). Sounds like attachment issues. I am worried about him when he says that he can't deal with life and is sleeping a lot....makes me wonder if he's suicidal. Keep in mind things that might trigger his outbursts and talk to his doctor. Sounds like you're a good woman by trying to help him. Good luck & take care.
2007-07-11 13:59:18 · answer #5 · answered by TML ♥'er 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He might be bi-polar. If you don't know, it's a disease where you can be really happy and lively one minute, and the next minute, you're just so depressed and don't feel like doing anything or dealing with anyone. Ask his doctor if that might be what is wrong with him. Make sure he doesn't hurt you or the kids like he hurt the wall.
2007-07-11 13:51:31 · answer #6 · answered by mallukutty83 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he sounds like my ex..is it one minute he's fine the next he's lost it over nothing or something stupid?? he turned out to be manic depressent and bi-polar. erratic mood swings, he's fine, he's putting his fist thru the wall. you have kids think about what they are seeing and hearing. it effects their mental health and they remember stuff too. be careful around him. you can im or e-mail me if there are any questions you might have that i can help you with. i have been thru this too.
2007-07-11 13:59:20 · answer #7 · answered by jenni 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I strongly believe that you need to speak with a professional--perhaps a psychiatric social worker--about your life situation. All the best, really.
2007-07-11 15:05:57 · answer #8 · answered by Ace Librarian 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Sounds like he's manic depressive. Ask his therapist to give him a prescription for lithium. It will help
2007-07-11 16:08:47 · answer #9 · answered by JESSICA G 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
His problem must be his girl friends try to find it,he must have some girl friends or some SEXUAL problem
2007-07-11 14:09:14 · answer #10 · answered by A.G.Pillai 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋