I don't think I want to get married, but I want a kid, is that abnormal? P. S I'm a single black male.

Question

BTW...I am only considering adoption!

Answer 1

So start looking into adoptions. There is nothing "abnormal" about wanting a child but not wanting to be married. That was actually MY plan...but it didn't work out that way...so I wound up divorced anyway. Parenting and marriage don't always go hand in hand. I've seen single parents (father's included) be wonderful parents but lousy spouses. And yes it is possible for single people to adopt. It can be a bit more difficult and there is usually more "red tape" but if you're willing to stick it out you can do it. It is neither selfish nor is it abnormal, I say go for it.

Answer 2

Probably not abnormal since I am thinking you don't want the responsibility or the idea of being with just one woman. Right? Well, do a kid a favor and don't do this. Your child will not have the joy of seeing you every night before bed or the feeling of protection from a Dad. The kid will grow up to not trust men and follow your lead. Maybe you aren't old enough to make this decision. Maybe when you are 35, the idea of finding a woman to love and have as a friend and mother to you children will sound more appealing.

Answer 3

i'm a female but i have the same thing in mind. i want to adopt a boy but i don't really want a husband, at least until after i adopt a child. i don't think it's abnormal so go ahead and think it :) it just might be a little hard to raise a kid on your own just so you know.

Answer 4

I think it may be selfish from a point of view...
A child should have both a mother and a father, and should ideally be brought up in a stable environment and a loving home. Both role models- masculine and feminine are needed to teach the child how to deal with people.

(But as things are going now, I guess if you think you can be a good parent, you could adopt a child and bring him up to be a decent human being, without a woman around.)

Answer 5

Nothing abnormal. I know of 3 examples in my small community alone, who adopted, but never married. And their kids grew up to be top notch!

Although married at one time, I ended up pretty much raisubg my children by myself, for most of their life, and they all turned out great, and we have a happy family.

Answer 6

that's perfectly normal to want children. generally you hear about single females wanting children (that's one of the main ways that sperm banks make money) but it's not unheard of for a single male to want children. the first thing however, that you need to consider is whether you are able to care for a child. if you have a full time job, with little time at home, or if you are in an unsafe living environment, you will probably need to wait. if you are able to give a child love and attention, and you are in a living and financial setup which allows you to properly care for the child, i don't see what is stopping you. you should probably consider getting a child that is black as well, as that will make life much easier for both of you.

Answer 7

Not for a single Black male. I'm not being a racist, just factual. All you have to do is look at the statistics provided by the census bureau. PS I'm Mexican and married to a FINE Black woman. We've been married for 20 years and have two beautiful teenage daughters.

Answer 8

I don't care what color or nationality you are but you don't father children you don't expect to have a family experience with. This is the new breakdown of our society. Children want a family intact. If you pursue this selfish behavior you will have done nothing more than selfishly give yourself something and given nothing to your child that is so important. Do not have a child if you are unwilling to show commitment to a wife and mother. Be a real man.

Answer 9

There's nothing wrong with wishing to have a kid even though you're not married.
Do it via the legal means. Adoption is okay.

Answer 10

I'm sure that if you look around you you will see that it is quite normal! What would be abnormal would to to take financial responsibility for the child.