REALLY awkward situation with my best friend's mom?

Question

i just got off the phone with my best friend's mom. She originally called to see if I had heard from my best friend and if I do to tell her to call her mom so they can talk. Then she started telling me about their family problems and how her husband cheated on her while she was having heart surgery and how their family is falling apart, also asking me if I thought her husband ever talked to her rudely. I have known them for several years so I can understand why she would feel comfortable telling me this but at the same time I felt REALLY awkward, and also hurt that my best friend had never mentioned what was going on. Anyway, my question is if you were asked your opinion on something like that by someone you knew very well, is it okay to be honest or should you still be diplomatic about it? Would you be hurt if your best friend of seven years had never talked to you about their family problems? I don't know if it was really my place to say what I thought abt my bff's dad.

Answer 1

Dont get involved....
She is smart enough to know.
She probably just need someone to bounce her thoughts with.
Be diplomatic, let her figure it out, let her discover what needs to be done by talking it through as you listen.
And maybe redirect her questions so that she will come to terms with what she already realizes?

Answer 2

It sounds to me that you're still pretty young? under 18?

If so, I think the Mom should not have talked to you about things like that. Tha's crossing some boundaries that I think should be there between "adults" and "kids". She should be talking to adult women for valuable opinion---friends her age about things like this. I think it's best for you to stay distant to these issues.

I understand the hurt feelings for your friend not telling you what's going on, but at the same time, I wouldn't take it personally. It's not about you as much as it's about her. We don't know how the problems in her family have affected her, right? It may have affected her in a way where she simply use denial to survive through it, or she may be having a huge trust issues herself because the authority adult figures in her life are in a mess... etc. So all that is to say that we dont know why she didn't tell you, so as much as you wish to be "closer" to your friend, I would try to understand that your friend is probably doing the best that she can to be your best friend.

Hope that helps. Your friend needs your support and love, so try to be patient and understanding. :) May your friendship with her continue to grow.

Answer 3

I think it is fine that you told her what you thought. She asked you so it's not like you butted in and told her out of nowhere. As for your friend...I'm sure that what was going on at home was enough for her. She probably just wanted to leave it there and not think about it when she was out with you guys. I would not pressure her to talk about it with you. She will come around when she would like. You could tell her that you heard what happened and understand if she doesn't want to talk about it but let her know that you are there if she ever does.

Answer 4

just be sweet and nice. thats all you can do. But you can keep this stuff private also. Your gf may not be comfortable with family problems so give her a break cause its very heavy duty and embarressing stuff as evidenced by her abstience. Tell her the mom wants to hear from her. And try to avoid the mom, nicely.

Answer 5

I understand your plight, but i think its best to offer advice as you see fit.
It does not necessarily have to affect your relationship with your friend. All you have to do is to let her know you ar aware of what's going on and how you got involved. If you guys are true friends then she should eventually reason with you. If she does not, maybe your friendship was not really as strong as you thought.

AA