Why do women always screw your brain when they dump you?

Question

My girl wants to dump me, tells me she loves me and still want's to be my friend. Been together like 10+years.whats this all about. Still kissin an all that sex stuff

Some of you guy's have come up with some good answers, Want her back, and miss her badly, want to get on with my life, but still love her desperately. In a mess at hte moment!

Answer 1

maybe she does not want to dump you but rather wants some space and also want to feel valued and in control.good luck on bringing her slowly back

Answer 2

Your ex/soulmate sounds like a confused individual. If it's not too much to ask, how old is she? I think A and B are applicable, C is pretty much unjustifiable (I believe you deserved something civil and more clear to understand in the ways of ending a relationship), and D is personally ill advised. It's rough, but you want your future spouse to appreciate you, be somewhat stable, and most importantly be honest with you. If she's got problems with her ex, she should be willing to talk to you about them if she can't handle them herself (which seemed to be the problem). You deserve to have your future spouse be honest with you and keep you in the loop. When you told her to look into her heart and find what she really wanted you obviously hit a nerve-- Looking back at the situation maybe she decided you weren't it even though logically you might have been the best option. Emotions vs. Reason, y'know? Also, some women go through a phase where any thought of long term stability or commitment scares them scheißeless. They feel like they're missing out on fun stuff and exploring who they are. It happened to me :\ Best of luck.

Answer 3

From a female perspective, after 10+ years, she's probably bored or not sure about her feelings for you, and therefore wants to see if the grass is greener on the other side, if it isn't, she's probably counting on the fact that she can get back with you just like that. She's playing a game, I bet if you stop the kissing/sex stuff, she might start to worry, she's relying on that you still want her back, act as if you don't and give her something to worry about, make her choose if she wants to be with you or not, if she doesn't, break loose and cut her off completely, that's the only way, give her an ultimatum, either be with you or not, no messing around, the all or nothing approach, it's hard to cut yourself off, I know from experience, but it does get easier as time is a great healer.

Answer 4

she is bored by the sounds of things
perhaps she expects you to propose now
or buy a home together or move in if you have'nt already
BUT
be realistic if it's over let her go and move on if this is as good as it gets are you willing to put up with how things are?
She sounds as if she's had enough and the relationship is at the end of the road.
Still being intimate is so easy when you have'nt the nerve to make the real break.
Get it sorted once and for all one of you needs to actually end it or mend it

Answer 5

Have you stopped a minute and recall the way it used to be at the begining and what have you promissed to each other?
Are you still in the same path?
10 years and a half is a lot of time for a girl to wait!
How about commitments?
Sounds to me that she is moving on with her life even though she loves you.
Every woman has a dream to be fulfilld, have you tried to fulfill hers?
Maybe you were to confortable with the situation, forgeting that she also counts.
So, open your heart to her and be willing to give an extra step to save the relationship, if you still can.

God Bless you.

Answer 6

They will do that. "I love you, but I'm not in love with you". They don't want to look bad. In their minds, the men are the jerks. So, they have to play all kinds of mind tricks in order to not look like the jerk.

If she's still showing you physical affection, then she just doing that to keep the option open. She's gonna try out a couple of other men and then if that doesn't work out she'll want to come back to you. Tell her that you are not her backup option and tell her that there other women that will see you as their best option.

It's a game and she's really good at it. Save yourself and just go find a different game to play.

Answer 7

Honestly, it sounds like she is hanging on to you until someone better comes along. She cares about you, but no longer wants to be in a serious relationship. However, after ten years she is unsure about getting back into the dating scene. She is using you as her security blanket. Basically, she is having her cake and eating it too (as the saying goes). Let her go. Don't hang around and let her use you like that. She will continue to do it as long as you let her. Show her that you can do better. Maybe, it will take you walking away - giving her what she wants, for her to realize that it is you (and only you) that she wants.

Answer 8

Are you married? Doesn't sound like you are. If that's case, you are walking away to your favor, cost you nothing after 10+ years. She either wants something new or is going through one of that strange "I am not happy" stuff. Keep your distance. This friend stuff does not work. Do you want to be sharing her with other guys she is trying out? She wants to control things to her favor. If you sever the tie, then you control your own life

Answer 9

Women HATE being ignored. Smarten up, buy some new clothes, get a trendy hair cut and start wearing aftershave. When she rings be friendly, but cut her short 'just on your way out'. Let her miss you. If it doesnt work and she is really really over you then move on. I know from my ex's if they behave like they dont care an seem to be moving on in life it gets me thinking. You have to hide your emotions so she doesnt know what you are thinking.

Answer 10

sounds like she isnt too sure about the split. either that or she wants to keep you hanging about in the background.
If you decide to stay friends (not easy) then the sex has tostop.
She should me more straight with you about what is going on.