He has been divorced for 12 yrs. has his own place but comes here to eat and sleep. Does not want to get married again. and does not want to move in with me. Just wants a snuggle bunny. But says he loves me. How do i get him to change his mind,. What more can i do to show him I am faithfull and will not hurt him.
2007-07-11 07:57:57 · 25 answers · asked by o1dreamer45 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
tell him hes gotta realize youre not his ex-wife and that youre looking for more than being a snuggle-bunny(?)
If he cant take it, it wasnt meant to be.
2007-07-11 08:04:44 · answer #1 · answered by Mergler 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A very good question and I have read some very good answers. Come from 2 failed marriages I can understand where he is coming from. AT the same time I am sorry for your loss. You will probably not get him to change his mind. At least not as far as the marriage goes. Still if you believe this is the man you want to be with and you feel he loves you then you need to let him know that you expect more then just a sleep over buddy. Unless you are willing to live with that. If you feel that you have done all you can do to show him how much you care and would be faithfull and he say he loves you... but sorry girl, it just aint gonna happen... You have a choise to make. Live the way you are or move on. So far it has been his choise. If you want more? Then now it becomes your choise. If he truley wants to be with you then he will be. If not, he will let you walk away.... Good Luck
2007-07-11 15:58:40 · answer #2 · answered by latenight1010 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
We as women need to realize that we can only be who we are. If a man does not wish to be married & has expressed this, there is nothing more we can do to change his mind. He has to be the one to have a change of heart. You can be the greatest woman and bend over backwards 100 times but if he doesn't want to be married, you will just be that woman who is the greatest...Your bf knows that you are a great woman, you don't need to go excessive lengths to prove something he already knows. He has to want the same thing you do & if he adamantly does not, there is nothing more you can do..You will either enjoy being his snuggle bunny or you will move on to someone who shares the same values as you.
2007-07-11 15:02:47 · answer #3 · answered by Unique Soul 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hmmm if he says he really loves you then why the commitment issues? Set forth your priorities say that you need a secure future for yourself and your child and hence a some commitment like an engagement for starters and he could move in with you. Live together for a while and see how it goes. If you two love it together then get married. If he still says no then tell him your not up for being utilized and move on there are many other fish in the sea. He isn't the only man out there. Good luck be firm and don't let him walk all over you just because you love him.
2007-07-11 15:03:22 · answer #4 · answered by Rick 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honestly, there is nothing else you can do to convince this man that shacking up does not constitute the kind of relationship that you want or are accustomed to having. If he does not want to get married again, then he needs to stop acting like he is married to you and eat and sleep in his own place. If he does not want a "wife" but a "snuggle bunny" instead, tell him to go to a pet store and buy himself a rabbit.
Best wishes.
2007-07-11 15:03:59 · answer #5 · answered by Jess4rsake 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't get him to change his mind. Only he can. If you don't want "just a snuggle bunny," then you are probably with the wrong guy. Showing him how faithful you are likely will make no difference. Sorry.
2007-07-11 15:01:03 · answer #6 · answered by Mr. Taco 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tough situation. Sound more like he wants a friend with benefits to me. How about the old "no ding ding without the ring"?
Seriously, it's time to sit him down and have the talk with him. If he won't commit to the relationship, it's time to move on. If he loves you, you don't need the piece of paper, but you do need the relationship. Living apart except for a booty call isn't gonna cut it. It leaves him free to play while getting what he wants from you.
2007-07-11 15:03:26 · answer #7 · answered by randy 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Depending on how long he has been with you, it's hard to say. If you've been seeing him for a short time (less than a year) it's understandable that he's apprehensive. I have a friend who was divorced, and was seeing a woman for 3 years before they lived together. Then it was another 7 before they were married.
2007-07-11 15:01:22 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is not anything that you can do to change his mind. If you are looking for someone who wants to be married, you will have to move on. He has already told you what he is looking for, you will have to tell him that you need more and find a man that's willing to give it to you. I wish you the best of luck!
2007-07-11 16:39:00 · answer #9 · answered by frawlicious 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You cannot change him. Repeat: You cannot change him. If you are not satisfied with the current situation (sounds like you're not) than you need to tell him what your needs are. If he is unwilling to meet them than you need to move. You deserve a relationship not to be someones convenient "snuggle bunny".
2007-07-11 15:01:46 · answer #10 · answered by incubator 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He has been honest with you when he tells you he does not want to get remarried. I dont think it is right for you to change his mind. If you went into this thinking there might be a future such as marriage and he never told you that would be one thing.
You need to ask yourself if you are willing to settle. He could very well love you, just not enough to commit to you.
2007-07-11 15:00:41 · answer #11 · answered by DelinquentGurl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋