Why do people insist on saying that they are ugly?

Question

I find it desturbing,the amount of people who think they are ugly. Learn to LOVE yourself for who you are and however you look. Screw what society and other people say. Ya know what I mean? :o)

What is YOUR definition of UGLY?

To Mon Ray: I understand that, I do. But people need to try. They need to look WITHIN themselves and know that they are not ugly. I know some extremely beautiful (physically) people and they are just rotten inside. Look within yourself and find the beauty. Lauren Hutton has a huge gap between her teeth, and she still ended up on the cover of many, many magazines. Everyone IS beautiful. And I do truly mean that.

Answer 1

...I think they must feel ugly inside...I have a teenage daughter & she & her friends are blindsided w/the culture today, if you don't like your looks, you can change them! it's awful! We're teaching her that it begins in our ♥'s and we think from the inside out...you're right...we need to model true beauty, authenticity, love, strength, joy, grateful attitudes, etc. to our younger women...so they can have confidence in who they are created to be!! You go girl!

Answer 2

People say they are ugly to receive reassurance that they are not. Their self-esteem is low and they kinda like the ego boost that they are not, and if they do not get it they have lost little or no ground.

I have a friend who constantly think she needs to change this or do that or wear the other thing to look beautiful; a lot is the conditioning of the advertising that says you have to have this or do that to be "beautiful" And that your life is ruined if you do not. And if they cannot afford that Tiffany diamond necklace, they think that they are ruined and want assurance that they are not.

And some people use that line to avoid having people praise them.

I have done similar when people try to tell me I did a good job in an area I know I did not, and I have had to learn to let them praise, because to them I did do well, even tho to professional standards I did an abysmal job. I find it hard to accept effusive praise for job I know inside was not well done, so don't over-praise.

But then I read that even Heifitz sometimes forgot where he was in a concerto, and faked it, and got great plaudits from the people for the beautiful music, so he made them happy even if he faked 24 bars of music before remembering what he was supposed to be playing.

I think that this kind of person may be helped by turning the attention to a good factor in them, one they can be happy about. And by complimenting them more often on their good points, and even a bit on those they feel bad about. "Your legs are really pretty in that skirt today."

And I occasionally tell one friend who is too into the ads and the "lovely" models with the pipestem legs that she sure looks nice with the muscles in her legs she builds from walking, they make her legs so very shapely. She denies it, but I can see she is pleased someone noticed a good point where the advertising says she is bad. And I mean it sincerely also. She has built naturally shapely legs.

And in this era of models and beauty contests, and gotta diet to take off weight no matter how thin you are, all this hullabaloo of changing your body and face to match some essentially unattainable pinnacle, by buying this ointment, and joining this course, people need to be appreciated for just what they are. Unique, and so beautiful in their own ways, physically, mentally, ethically, as a human being.

So find things to compliment, and make them feel happier. If that doesn't work, go burn all the fashion magazine stands...oops, that would be terrible pollution!!

Go make someone's personal world more beautiful!!

Hope this helps.

Answer 3

Easier said than done. I'm more concerned about internal ugliness though.

[Editor's Note: I understand that completely Wysteria, but the human psyche is very fragile. When you realize you aren't the most attractive person and then, to make things worse, you have an entire society telling you how ugly you are, it's really heartbreaking. You don't think people want to try and see the beauty within? It's just so hard sometimes. You begin to believe what the majority tells you because of the shy, fragile person you are. Climbing back up after hitting rock bottom is long and difficult. It takes people time. Some are forced to harden their own hearts just to focus solely on themselves and try to reverse the damage done to them. It's not a quick or pretty process. It's not that people don't try, it's just that a lot of them are alone in their fight to feel beautiful again. And being alone in that state is the worst feeling. By the time you think you're done fixing yourself, you turn out to be uglier on the inside than you are on the outside. That's the result of a hardened heart.]

Answer 4

Some people have no self-esteem from within and truly think that of themselves. In most of those cases, their self-esteem has been beaten down by another person close to them.

There are other people who know they are pretty, but just stay that so others will tell them, "No you're not, you're so pretty."

The truth is beauty comes from within. You've got to be a pretty person inside to be prettty on the outside. If you think such bad things inside that ugly things come out of you, then that turns you into an ugly person.

Answer 5

yeah its kinda sad but come on, everyone thinks theyre ugly at some point!

personally, im totally cool with how i look :) ive never been told im ugly.. but it doesnt even matter what other people think, i know im a cootie pie :) haha

but yeah like other people said.. being ugly is NOT looks.. i swear, its all about personality and attitude. if you suck inside then you suck on the outside, plain and simple! back when angie jolie was a crazy chick i liked her but now that shes become miss queen of the world i think shes gorgeous! but if she was a heinous ***** id think she was ugly :) thats how it works. you see someone as beautiful if theyre good people or if they are seen like that.. if you hear bad stories its hard to find someone beautiful.. thats why with celebs, i rarely say 'oh shes beautiful' cause theyre probably AWFULLLL and i cant get over that. its why ive never been able to call jessica alba gorgeous... cause of all the crap ive heard

Answer 6

There are many reasons for that. They may not have self-confidence, or a type of wanting so much, comparing themselves with models, or a shy-born type, or even because they are afraid of being provoked by others if they believe they are beautiful,... But I think everyone will someday in their life suddenly recognize beauty is just skin deep. I myself believe only your behaviors and characters attract others.

Answer 7

Ugly, in my opinion, is someone who has evil in their hearts and hurt people on purpose.

When I was growing up all I ever heard from my classmates was how unattractive I was. I didn't wear name brand shoes or clothes, I was shy and quiet and I didn't have many friends.

I'm older now, a little bit wiser and I know I'm not hideous. But it still kind of stings, to remember and sometimes I'm just not as sure of myself as I should be. Words do hurt...

So, that's why I feel ugly sometimes.

Answer 8

Because they don't like how they look. It's hard to say you're beautiful if you really don't believe it. But you make a very good point. My definition of ugly is more about people who have nasty attitudes and mistreat others.

Answer 9

I think that they want others to stroke their egos. I define ugly by the way they act. You could be the most physically beautiful person in the world, but if you are a horrible person then that makes you ugly.

Answer 10

You have to remember that a lot of people say they are ugly just so you can say 'no you're not, you are beautiful'. I don't really have a definition of ugly.... more or less like you say, everybody is different.

Answer 11

Most people say they are ugly in hopes that someone will say, "Oh no you're not!" then go on to shower them with compliments. It is a fishing expedition! Ugly is not someone with less than movie star looks. Ugly is far more than skin deep.