I am divorced for 2 years and so far I've been able to take care of my two sons without their father's help. He has not giving me any child support for the last year and even before that he just gave me whatever amount he wanted. When I called him to ask him for money and to take care of the kids every once in a while so I could take my classes and work he told my son to tell me to stop calling him and I did. He ruined my credit and people still call me to collect on a truck that he drives and he agreed to pay (my name is on it too). They call me because he changed his number and moved so they can't contact him. When I emailed him to ask him to take care of the situation he told me to stop emailing him and I did. Now he wants to spend time with the kids, but doesn't call me to ask me if it's ok, he calls my son. He gave me full custody of the kids. Should I ask him to get lost and stop trying to contact the kids? The reason I'm not sure is that they seem happy to having him around.
2007-07-11 06:42:21 · 12 answers · asked by Susu 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Man, I wish you were my ex-wife. I lost my job and couldn't pay the full amount one month in five years and she had her lawyer threaten me.
I do think you should allow him to see his kids, but I think that you need to get something from him. If you don't want to depend on him, then tell him that he has to start an account for your childs college fund and that it will be in your name.
He's legally obligated to help out. I would make him, regardless of whether he gets to see the kids.
2007-07-11 06:49:56 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just tell him that if he wants to see the kids he has to talk to you and coordinate it with you, not the kids. Start making him act like a grown up. Go after him for that child support-you didn't make the kids on your own. As far as the vehicle and other bills...tell the people that call you that you have a court order stating that he is to pay for that truck and not to call you again or you will file a harrassment suit against them! Good luck.
2007-07-11 13:56:50 · answer #2 · answered by stacilynn26 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a tough issue. I would say don't deny the kids from seeing their father because that will punish the children. They deserve to have him regardless of his being a sorry provider. The next step would be to take him to court for child support. I would file immediately. It's not a choice, it's a right to those kids. He has responsibilities and he needs to be held accountable for them. Don't put up with his shenanigans. Don't allow him to be a dead beat on your time. Give him a harsh dos of reality and file on him. Have that truck repossessed or towed to your house. Hell, it's in your name and you have every right since he's not making the payments. Your bad credit will effect your kids too. I would let that sucker sit before I would allow his sorry frontin *** ride around it with out making payments and it be in my name. Legally there's nothing he could do either. Look out for you and those babies girl. Good luck too ya!
2007-07-11 13:57:24 · answer #3 · answered by honeyb 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's going about it the wrong way, but...
Kids need their dads...It's really important for kids to have their dad in their lives - and since he's interested, that's good.
I would speak to the attorney who handled the divorce, or to a mediator (family court can sometimes find free services if you need it) and have them work out an arrangement.
With a mediated arrangement, you have a place to turn if he doesn't hold up his end of the deal. For example, you can have it spelled out that he has to call you to set the dates and times. You might be able to fix the bill problems, too.
Good luck.
2007-07-11 13:50:22 · answer #4 · answered by nicolemcg 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow....if he wants to see his kids and be part of their lives it is not really fair to not allow him to do so especially if the boys enjoy his being around. Remember, you let him come because of the boys, not yourself. However, if he gave you full custody then that says a lot. If he is not paying child support and is being a butt about money issues that he has created then you may want to limit his contact with them to specific days and times...no sense in letting him control everything.
2007-07-11 15:25:23 · answer #5 · answered by mvngs 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he is being responsible with the kids and the like having him around, you have to set your feelings aside and your kids first.
Although he sounds like an a**hole, he is there father. I would talk to him and tell him that if he wants to see the kids he needs to call and talk to you, you are the adult in the home not your son and leave it at that.
Then take his butt to court and get a child support order. Good Luck!
2007-07-11 14:10:17 · answer #6 · answered by sparkling_apple 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is a shame that single parents have to still go through this nonsense with an ex especially a parent. I love to tell you to pack it up and move where he cannot find you BUT that is their father regardless..You keep doing right by your children no matter what. They will forever keep you in their hearts. Tried to research the other problems and see if you can get out of having to pay them. I am sure if you show that you are no longer with this person they can work something out and if you have his current info. than give it to this creditor.. Good luck to u believe me their is a god..who is looking out for you and your family.
2007-07-11 13:54:44 · answer #7 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't keep them apart. Kids need a healthy relationship with their father. Go after him in court for money, do everything you can to reclaim your good credit and ruin his if he deserves it but don't drag the kids into it like a bargaining chip.
Yes- your ex is a disgrace to men every where. But that doesn't stop him from being their dad.
2007-07-11 13:47:39 · answer #8 · answered by Someone somewhere doing something 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
NO!!!!!!! dont let you and your husbands issues, become your kids issues, i they love their father dont interfere and dont use them as levrage against him, remember its not their fault hes a piece of s**T, what you do is contact a lawyer and judge and get the courts involved make him pay, when the debt collectors call give them his new number, and as a loving mother if hes going to leave with the kids he HAS to have a working number you can contact him on
2007-07-11 13:52:01 · answer #9 · answered by eyesinthedrk 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Going through the exact same thing. No child support, no nothing. He does NOTHING! After we spilt he quit his job due to an 'injury' He let the house go up for forclosure ( I let him have it because we lived right next door to his parents) He stopped paying bills that were in both our names that he agreed to take. He moved in with his mom and then with his brother, he let his car go back. He uses that as an excuse to not come and get them so I have to take them to him.So so much more!! But it's my kids dad and they love him, how can I punish them for that?? He never calls them but when they get to talk to him or stay the weekend they love it. I want them to be old enough to realize that's it's him not me.
Good Luck sweet heart
2007-07-11 13:54:28 · answer #10 · answered by 0 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋